Balls Jokes
100 balls jokes and hilarious balls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about balls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make some noise with laughter and check out these funny balls jokes! Covering all the bases from sigma balls to taint and bollocks, these jokes are sure to keep you in stitches. Whether you like old balls or new balls, you're sure to find something funny here.
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Funniest Balls Short Jokes
Short balls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The balls humour may include short basket jokes also.
- Did you hear that NYC paid hillary clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
- I invented a new golf ball that'll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.
- How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time, on dragon Ball Z!
- Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.
- After winning the game, I threw the ball into the crowd just like they do on TV. Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.
- If you have have a small green ball in one hand and another small green ball in the other, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's full attention.
- My neighbor claims his Golden Retriever dog can bring a ball back from half a mile away.. That seems a bit far-fetched to me..
- I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z... My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!" - I'm going to start a quidditch ball repair shop, staffed entirely with ex-cons from Azkaban. It'll be called Snitches Get Stitches .
- I threw the dog a ball the other day It was a bit extravagant but he looks great in a tuxedo!
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Balls One Liners
Which balls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with balls? I can suggest the ones about bullet and bows.
- What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged and took it like a champ
- If I had a crystal ball... I'd sit down *really* carefully...
- A tennis ball walks into a restaurant.... a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"
- What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Grgglluhhgghh*
- I asked my magic 8-ball which email client to use. It told me... Outlook not so good.
- What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
- What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *-Choking noises-*
- Despite constantly dropping the ball... Gravity is pretty reliable
- If you missed the ball drop last night.... Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
- What did Cindarella do when she got to the ball? Gagged
- What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? ... ackhh achkghk
- Why can't Cinderella play soccer? Because she keeps running away from the ball
- Me : Shaking a magic 8 ball.. "Will my vision ever get better??"
Coconut : - Hey, Magic 8-Ball. Why can't I check my work email? "Outlook not so good."
- What do the Patriots and Lance Armstrong have in common? They only have one good ball.
Dragon These Balls Jokes
Here is a list of funny dragon these balls jokes and even better dragon these balls puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but it will take three episodes.
- Why did Vegeta name his son Trunks? ...find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z
- Getting real sick of all the Dragon Ball Z references... Just Saiyan...
- How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but it takes 15 episodes.
- How many dragon ball characters does it take to change a light bulb ? Only one... but it will take a few episodes.
~~The lightbulb saga~~ - What's the difference between a Dragon Ball Z episode and a Markiplier video? A *Dragon Ball Z* episode doesn't have as much screaming
- Some people say that Frieza was the best character in Dragon Ball Z, but... I think his brother was cooler.
- The characters from Dragon Ball Z aren't that super Just saiyan
- Dragon Ball fans are like creationists If you talk about Evolution, they get mad.
- How many dragon Ball characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? .
.
.
One, but it takes 12 episodes.
*twisting slowly*
Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......
Big Balls Jokes
Here is a list of funny big balls jokes and even better big balls puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My sons joke - if you've a cricket ball in one hand, and a cricket ball in the other hand. What have you got? A big cricket.
- What do being mad at the world and watching the ball drop have in common? Both involve yelling at a big blue ball.
P.S: Happy New Year! 10 more minutes! - I thought the big NYC ball was mechanically operated but I guess not. I heard Mariah Carey dropped it last night during her performance.
- I was wondering why the ball was becoming so big.. ..then it hit me.
- My 10 year old son made this one up. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants? Because his snow b**... are too big.
- Why couldn't the juggler perform on the big stage? He didn't have the b**...
- If you have a moth ball in one hand and a moth ball in the other, what have you got? A b**... big moth!
- A President, an Actor and a Soldier try to go in to a bar But his b**... were too big to fit through the double doors.
- What does it take to put a skirt on a velociraptor Big b**... and a Time machine
Balls Deep Jokes
Here is a list of funny balls deep jokes and even better balls deep puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them? dicktator tots
- Lance Armstrong got laid last night. He totally went ball deep.
- If the deepest part of the ocean had been discovered by the HMS b**... Would it be known as b**... Deep?
- I thought of this in the shower If we were all in our dad's b**... at some point. Does that means we were all b**... deep in our dad?
Balls Of Steel Jokes
Here is a list of funny balls of steel jokes and even better balls of steel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel? Neymar
- Given that the US has now shot down three balloons (or suspected balloons) this week.... Whoever is flying the Goodyear blimp at the Super Bowl tonight had better have b**... of steel.
- This is an old joke What do you call a short legged dog with steel b**...?
Sparky - What's the reason for an acute shortage of steel in the world? Zelenski's b**...!
- A doggo was born without hind legs, but had b**... of steel... They named him Sparky
Ridiculous Balls Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about balls you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bags jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make balls pranks.
An Amish Woman
Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's b**...… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither
I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his n**... with a straight razor
He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the b**... to try it again.
A alien walks into a bar
He orders a drink. After some time he taps the waiter and says "beep". After 5 minutes he does it again. He does it repeatedly until the waiter says "I swear to God, if you do that one more time I'm gonna chop your b**... off!" Alien responds "I don't have any b**...". The waiter says "Then how do you have s**...?". The alien responds by tapping the waiter and saying "beep"
Why can't fortune tellers have children
They have glass b**...
A state trooper pulls over a elderly lady
The state trooper approaches the car, and asks the elderly lady if she knows why he pulled her over. The elderly lady said of course i do, you wanted to give me a personal invitation to the state troopers ball the state trooper replied uh ma'am. State troopers dont have b**.... He stood there for a second, tipped his hat, and walked back to his car.
Why can you only get castrated once ?
Because you don't have the b**... to do it a second time.
Why do midgets laugh when running across the lawn?
The grass tickles their b**....
It took a lot of b**... for my friend to sign up for the reality TV show Embarrassing Bodies .
Well, three to be exact.
I saw a t**... in a mini skirt
I thought.. that shows a lot of b**....
When do you kick a midget in the b**...?
When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice.
A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."
Obvious repost
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the b**... to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
I got the worst blue b**... ever today.
Man, I hate back splash from porta-potties
I don't know why people say that pee is stored in the b**....
I mean, there's a vas deferens between the two.
A man walks into a bar
And sees a dog by the fireplace l**... its b**....
The man goes to the bar and orders his drink and says to the barman while pointing his thumb towards the dog and says ha, I wish I could do that
The barman replies give him a biscuit and he might let you
Two girls from Thailand asked me if I wanted to sleep with them.
They said that it would be like winning the Lottery.
To my horror they were right, we had six matching b**....
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
A police officer pulls a man over
"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.
"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.
The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."
"Sir, the police doesn't have b**....", the officer says.
There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.
To whoever invented the mini skirt, you are a good person, thank you.
My b**... have never felt so free.
Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.)
And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having "Space b**..." from here on out.
I used to shave my t**... with a straight razor.
Nowadays I lack the b**... to do so
Two r**... watching a dog lick its b**......
The first r**... says, "I wish I could do that." The second r**... says, "I reckon that dog would bite you."
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the b**... to kill you himself.
My girlfriend just punched me in the b**...
Not what I meant when I said time to hit the sack.
What does Michael Jordan and Melania Trump have in common?
The both made a fortune playing with orange b**...
A dog is lying on the grass l**... his b**......
A guy looks and says to his friend, "I wish I could do that."
His friend says, "You better pet him first. He looks pretty mean."
Here's a trilogy of jokes
You know why you never see an elephant hiding in a tree?
Because they are good at it.
Why do elephants paint their b**... red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest sound in the forest?
Giraffes eating cherries
Why don't you see elephants hiding in a tree?
Because they're very good at it.
Why do the elephants paint their b**... red?
So they can hide in a cherry tree.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries.
What is the difference between a Snow man and a Snow woman?
Snow b**...
A young woman was pulled over for speeding
A young woman was pulled over for speeding.
The State Trooper walked to her car window and opened his ticket book.
The woman said, "I bet you're going to try to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers' Ball."
The trooper told her, "Ma'am, State Troopers don't have b**...."
There was a moment of silence... The trooper tipped his hat, and returned to his car.
When I was younger, I used to shave my privates with a cut t**... razor.
I don't have the b**... to do it anymore
Dog joke
One day there was two men walking down a street and they saw a dog l**... its b**.... The one man says I wish I could do that . The other man looks at him and says well you better pet him first.
One day a man wakes up and finds out he has 3 b**...
He decides to go see a doctor but was a little embarrassed to address his problem so he says...
"Hey Doc, between you and me we have 5 b**...".
The doctor, extremely baffled by this jumps off his chair and says...
"WHATTTT ?!!?!! You have no b**..."?
Why is president Zelensky still in Kiev?
His humongous b**... keep getting stuck in the doorway.
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians
Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is to remove their pants and examine their genitalia. All Ukrainians have b**... of steel. Even women.
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of v**... and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they c**... anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's b**....
What do you have when you have two green b**... in your hand?
Kermit the Frogs undivided attention
Zelensky has massive b**..., so how do you get them from Kyiv to the border for the peace talks?
Ukraine them
What is the cheapest meat?
It's deer b**... they're always under a buck.
Why do mice have small b**...?
Not many of them know how to dance...
Uvalde citizen gets pulled over
A very cute blonde was pulled over for speeding by an Uvalde motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the policeman's Ball."
The cop replied, "No, ma'am. You're thinking of the Border Patrol , the Uvalde Police don't have b**...."
A man walked into a Walgreens and asked where the tampons were.
Cashier: "Aisle 5."
Minutes later the man returned with a bag of cotton b**... and some string.
Cashier: "I thought you were buying tampons."
Man: "I was, and then I got to thinking about something. The other day I asked my wife to pick me up some cigarettes while she was out, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers. Her reasoning was that it was just SOOO MUCH CHEAPER. So the way I figure it, if I have to roll my own, then so does she."
What's the cheapest meat you can buy?
Deer b**.... Their under a buck.
What hurts the worst?
A very pregnant woman walks into a bar with her girlfriends and orders a diet coke. "Did you know that childbirth isn't nearly as painful as it is for a man to get kicked in the b**...?" the bartender asks the woman. "What?" The woman exclaims. "How can you say that? You have no idea how much pain a woman endures during birth." "Pure logic," the bartender replies. "You never see a man deciding two years later to go out and get kicked in the b**... again ..."
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
Why do elephants paint their b**... red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries
I had a friend who was assigned male at birth, but fully transitioned to female later in life…
I know people will argue about how courageous that was,
But I know that surgery took b**....
Sport b**...
At age 25 men play basketball
At age 40 men play tennis
At age 60 men play golf
The moral of the story is the older you get the smaller your b**... get
When people rub your pregnant girl's stomach and say congrats
But nobody tickles your b**... and say well done
Have you ever smelled moth balls?
I can never get their tiny legs apart.
What's the similarity between a Christmas tree and a guy who had a vasectomy?
Their balls are decorative.
A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him.
Hey what's all that in your pocket?
He says It's tennis balls
Well, if it's anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful!
I hit two good balls out golfing today.
I stepped on the bunker rake.
The employees play basketball or soccer
Department directors play tennis. CEOs play golf!
The higher the position, the smaller the balls...
Guy goes to the doctor and asks...
"Doctor, is it normal if one of my balls is bigger than the other two?"
Castration
This American guy was sharing his African adventures with his buddies where he had spent a few weeks.One of his buddies asked him what was the weirdest things he witnessed over there.
He replied, in Africa,they castrate the bulls by busting their balls by smashing them together with a BRICK in each hand.
His friend said ouch,that must be quite painful.
He replied,nah not really,unless you are careless and you smash your thumbs.
I got my balls stuck in a RC car
It's driving me nuts
