Balls Jokes

Following is our collection of testicle humor and bollocks one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Balls puns for adults, dirty scrotum jokes or clean midget balls gags for kids.

There is an abundance of frisbees jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 54 funniest jokes on balls. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any tennis balls witze you can hear about balls.

The Best jokes about Balls

I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his nut sack with a straight razor

He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the balls to try it again.

Why can you only get castrated once ?

Because you don't have the balls to do it a second time.

An Amish Woman

Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's balls… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither

A alien walks into a bar

He orders a drink. After some time he taps the waiter and says "beep". After 5 minutes he does it again. He does it repeatedly until the waiter says "I swear to God, if you do that one more time I'm gonna chop your balls off!" Alien responds "I don't have any balls". The waiter says "Then how do you have sex?". The alien responds by tapping the waiter and saying "beep"

Why do midgets laugh when running across the lawn?

The grass tickles their balls.


I saw a transvestite in a mini skirt

I thought.. that shows a lot of balls.

It took a lot of balls for my friend to sign up for the reality TV show Embarrassing Bodies .

Well, three to be exact.

A state trooper pulls over a elderly lady

The state trooper approaches the car, and asks the elderly lady if she knows why he pulled her over. The elderly lady said of course i do, you wanted to give me a personal invitation to the state troopers ball the state trooper replied uh ma'am. State troopers dont have balls. He stood there for a second, tipped his hat, and walked back to his car.

When do you kick a midget in the balls?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice.

Why can't fortune tellers have children

They have glass balls

What is the French term for blue balls?

Sack Le Bleu


Dog Years Are Bullshit

Dog years are bullshit. My dogs 10 and she still chases tennis balls when I throw them. When my grandma was 70 and I threw a tennis ball and told her to get it she smacked me in the head and walked away muttering.

I keep thinking about doing the lottery...

But I don't think I'd have the balls to win it.

A man walks into a bar with a crocodile

The bar tender says 'oi you get out, we don't allow those in here'. The man replies
'Oh no don't worry he's perfectly tame, look I'll show'.
The man then proceeds to unzip his trousers and take off his pants. The crocodile opens its mouth and the man dangles his balls inside the jaw.
After an hour this the man says 'see, perfectly safe. Does anyone else want a go?'. A man in the corner of the bar raises his hand and says
'I'd love a go but I don't think I can keep my mouth open for that long'.

What does lebron james and stormy Daniels have in common

They both get paid to play with orange balls

Two guys are walking down the street and come across this dog licking his balls.

One guy says "Man, I wish *I* could do that". The other guy responds "Maybe you should pet him first!"

So I dipped my balls in glitter

Pretty nuts

(NSFW) Ther Hunter

Jim and Carl are sitting up their post. Jim looks through his finder for a moment. Then he asks: "Carl, what would you do if your wife cheated on you?"
Carl: "I'd shoot her in the head."
Jim: "what would you do with her lover?"
Carl: "I'd shoot his balls off"
Jim looks at Carl: "If you hurry up you can do it with one bullet"

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

And balls to be a sperm donor.


What did my communist girlfriend say when she grabbed my balls?

I'm seizing your means of production.

Unluckiest man alive on a plane crash

There is a cursed man on a burning plane and there are only 2 parachutes left for 3 people.Not being able to decide who is going to be left behind he comes up with an idea.He selects a random person among the passengers and asks to the other 2 people "if you know how many balls me and this guy have in total I am going to stay in the plane so you can get the parachute".They laugh and agree, then they proceed to say 4.He laughs and unzips to show them he only has 1 ball.After a moment of silence the other guy also unzips to show his 3 balls hanging.

My girlfriend said," Girls are better at everything than Men."

I said, "Do you have balls to prove that?"

Tried to tranlate a joke

After bridge collapsed man decided to cross the river. While he cross something grabbed his balls and voice came out from underneath plus two or minus two? Man had no idea what was going on and said plus two . After he passed he realized he has four balls now. When he was coming back he thought if that bitch asks me again I will say minus two , and started crossing. That thing grabbed his balls again and voice came out plus four or minus four? .

A man with three testicles went to the hospital...

He was too shy to speak up, so the doctor suggested: Try using indirect words .

Finally encouraged, the man revealed: Your balls and mine, put together will make five .

The doctor gasped and exclaimed: What? You have FOUR balls?!

A foolish man complains about his torn pockets

A wise man uses them to scratch his balls.

People have silly hang ups about their personal appearance.

I worry that one of my balls is bigger than the other two.

I can't believe people used to castrate themselves because of their religion

Now that takes balls.

Men are more susceptible to the covid19 coronavirus

Men could be more susceptible to Covid-19 becauseΒ testicular tissue generates proteins the virus likes to latch onto.

It's got you by the balls.

My mate Dave had a sex change....

....i said "That must've taken balls."

My neutered dog wants to jump in the pool soo bad.

he just doesn't have the balls to do it.

Answer: Felt Forum

Question: How did Helen Keller find her boyfriend's balls?

Kids Argue who's dad is tallest!

Three kids showing off whos dad is tallest,

Kid 1 : my dad is as tall as empire state building.

Kid 2 : oh yeah? Well my dad is taller than the sky, even higher than the moon.

Kid 3: oh yeah? Does your dad reach and touch the planets up there?

Kid 2 : yeah of course

Kid 3: those are my dads balls.

What do you call a dog with no hind legs and iron balls?

Sparky

How do you make a pool table laugh?

Tickle it's balls

There's a man standing with his dog.

The dog is sitting there furiously licking his balls.

Another man walks past and says jees I wish I could do that!

The first man says, yeah well I'd pat him first .

A doggo was born without hind legs, but had balls of steel...

They named him Sparky

Why don't rabbits make noise when they're having sex?

Cotton balls.

A nanny bathes twins

A nanny bathes a set of twins. The twins were marked with numbers, the first born marked with a 1 and the second born marked with a 2. The nanny bathes both the twins and the parents come in and say
Where are the numbers?! We can't tell them apart any more
The nanny says I can tell them apart by their balls
How?!
One bawls in the morning one bawls in the afternoon

Alpo

I told you that feeding your husband all that dog food would finally kill him!

It wasn't the Alpo, he broke his neck trying to lick his balls.

I saw a transvestite in a mini-skirt the other day.

I thought... that shows a lot of balls.

Tell me, what is it called when you're in your backyard naked shooting hoops?

Balls in your court.

What did the Chernobyl victim name his balls?

Bill, Kevin, Tom, and Steve

What is the difference between a comedian and a depressed person?

One has the balls to go on stage.

I thought of this in the shower

If we were all in our dad's balls at some point. Does that means we were all balls deep in our dad?

What does it take to put a skirt on a velociraptor

Big balls and a Time machine

Geezer walks into a pub with his terrier

He walks up to the bar to order a drink, whereupon his dog starts licking its balls.

Another guy already at the bar looks wistfully at the dog and says to the owner Gee mate that's a skill eh, wish I could do that. .

The owner replies Give him a biscuit and he might let you.

Chinese food....

Have you ever tried Chinese Meat balls?



....They are the dogs bollocks!

We all know about Pericles and his brilliance.

But his friend Testicles? That guy had balls.

Why dogs like balls...

Dogs like balls because they want there's back...

Unpopular opinion: The How could he manage to pull that off with balls that huge? jokes are lame.

To me, they're just low hanging fruit.

A student asked for a makeup exam due to being hospitalized for testicular torsion.

Can you believe the balls on this guy?



Note: the setup to the punchline is real.

Most girls can't handle Goku

He has Dragon balls

My wife was breaking my balls because I didn't do a chore she asked me to

I told her, you don't have to keep remindiing me every six months

A man went to Spain on his vacation.

He stopped by a restaurant and saw an interesting dish. He asked the waiter about it, who said "Son los cojones del toro, the balls of the bull sir. we serve it once a day after the bullfights." The man places an order for the next day and leaves.

When he comes back the next day, gets his dish and he eats the balls and when the waiter comes to ask how he liked the dish, the customer says "not bad, but not as tender as the big ones you served yesterday", and the waiter says "well seΓ±or, sometimes the bull wins".

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes