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Balloon Jokes

127 balloon jokes and hilarious balloon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about balloon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for some fun and unique balloon jokes that will bring laughter to any event, look no further! We have compiled some of the best balloon jokes from all over to party up your balloon animal, birthday, and hot air balloon gatherings! From Daddy jokes to jokes about helium and Elsa's love for balloons, you'll have plenty of laughs with these hilarious jokes!

Funniest Balloon Short Jokes

Short balloon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The balloon humour may include short inflatable jokes also.

  1. I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
  2. I ordered a balloon on aliexpress Tracking showed it was on the way and then it just disappeared. Has anyone seen it?
  3. President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
  4. I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.
  5. airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
  6. I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals. Well, that balloon has burst.
  7. Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just "let it go".
    My 6 year old told me this.
    I will show myself out now...
  8. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just Let It Go.
    As told to me by my 5 year-old daughter
  9. My grandfather was a very intelligent man. He was an inventor. He invented the cold air balloon. Only problem was it never really took off.
  10. I wrote Will you marry me? on a balloon to propose to my girlfriend. Then I chickened out at the last moment, and had to pop the question.

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Balloon One Liners

Which balloon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with balloon? I can suggest the ones about blimp and trampoline.

  1. My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon It never really took off.
  2. The price of balloons is said to rise. It's only logical with all the inflation.
  3. why are balloons getting so expensive nowadays? inflation
  4. Why do balloons hate Ed Sheeran concerts? They are afraid of pop music.
  5. My balloon elephant wouldn't fit in the back seat of my car so... I had to pop the trunk.
  6. I started a cold air balloon business. I'm having trouble getting it off the ground.
  7. Why did the balloon prices go up? Because of inflation.
  8. Why shoot down so many balloons? It's a fight against inflation.
  9. what type of music does a balloon hate? Pop music
  10. What's up? Some movie about an old guy and balloons.
  11. Why did the Weimar Republic ban balloons? Because of the Hyperinflation.
  12. Paying a clown to blow up balloons at a party is pretty expensive. Must be inflation.
  13. What music are balloons most afraid of? Pop.
  14. Balloons remind me of my dad They don't come back
  15. Man, balloons sure are getting expensive… …I guess that's inflation for ya.

Hot Air Balloon Jokes

Here is a list of funny hot air balloon jokes and even better hot air balloon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • 2023 is a bad year to be a hot air balloon pilot without a radio. credit to iBeej for this one!
  • My wife asked me why hot air balloon rides are so expensive. I said "inflation".
  • I tried to start a hot air balloon company but it never really took off.
  • TIFU in a hot air balloon ... It was amazing.
  • So I invested in a hot air balloon company... And it's really taken off
  • What does a hot air balloon and a homeless person have in common No visible means of support
  • A physicist insisted on his wife giving birth on a hot air balloon. When his son turned out to be a shame on the family, he told him: "You had so much potential!"
  • I was going to invest in a hot air balloon..... but it's a bit up in the air at the moment
  • I have a job working with hot air balloons It has its highs and lows
  • Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket? He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

Balloon Animal Jokes

Here is a list of funny balloon animal jokes and even better balloon animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Some people say that it's wrong to fill up balloon animals with helium. But whatever floats your goat.
  • What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it? A balloon animal!
  • Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children? With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.
  • Hey! What's up? A heartwarming animated film about a boy, an old man, and his dog who all fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.
  • What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
    A creature that stinks to high heaven.
  • varicose veins are... ...the balloon animals of the circulatory system!
  • What kind of pets do clowns have? Balloon animals!
  • Requests for balloon animals in parties are almost always inflated
  • What do you call a balloon animal made out of a c**...? A t**... horse.
  • I always carry a c**... in my wallet in case a date goes unexpectedly well... that way I can impress her with my balloon animals skills.
Balloon joke, I always carry a c**... in my wallet in case a date goes unexpectedly well...

Balloon Birthday Jokes

Here is a list of funny balloon birthday jokes and even better balloon birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I bought my girlfriend a big helium balloon for her birthday it didn't go down very well.
  • Why did no one give Elsa a balloon for her birthday? Because she'll just Let It Go.
    told to me by a 7yo that thought it was the funniest thing they've ever heard.
  • Woman: I need a couple balloons of Eminem for my sons birthday, it's in an hour. Worker: so you're telling me... I only got one shot?
  • Why were there balloons in the bathroom? There was a birthday p**....

Balloon Love Jokes

Here is a list of funny balloon love jokes and even better balloon love puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the worst time to hear that your loved one has died? Right after you took a large hit from a helium balloon.
  • I really love balloons They're truly breathtaking
  • If you love something, set it free. If it comes back is was meant to be. That was definitely not a balloon.
  • Everybody really loves the new "IT" movie. But when I dress up as a clown, and lure kids into the sewer with red balloons I get diagnosed as a psychopath.
  • What did the balloon say to the rock? "Your love will be my downfall"
Balloon joke, What did the balloon say to the rock?

Laughter Balloon Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about balloon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bubblegum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make balloon pranks.

Why are balloons expensive?

Inflation!
I'll see myself out, unless this blows up.

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

pop culture

man in a hot air balloon

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."

Two balloons

are floating in the desert. one balloon says to the other, "hey! watch out for that cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"

Helium is a limited resource and we could run out of it in our lifetime...

Balloon prices are going to go sky high.

Meanwhile in business news...

...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate

Don't Eat Too Many Lollipops

A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!"
This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride

The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".

Elsa

My daughter just told me this before bed.
Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon?
Because she'll let it goooo

Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons?

Because of inflation

The price of a balloon has really gone up recently

I think it's because of inflation

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support.
(My son found that in a children's joke book)

The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight.

I'm just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.

Our local council said they are going to get all the coins out of the wishing well and put them into a balloon.

Talk about getting everyone's hopes up.

If I bought a balloon for $0.99...

How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?

What do you do for a sick balloon?

You helium up.

What music does a balloon really hate?

Pop

Liam Neeson was walking on a road.

He suddenly slipped and fell, twisting his knee. He looks around for some help. He sees a kid with a balloon coming towards him.
"Hey kid. Come here." He called him, asking for his help.
"Hello Liam Neeson, I see you are hurt. What happened?" He asks.
"Hurt my knee kid. Can you help me please?"
"Sure, take this." He says, handing him the balloon.
"What's this for?" Looking at him, confused.
"This is full of Heal-Liam."

What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a balloon?

*Pop*

There was a family of balloons...

Daddy Balloon, Mummy Balloon, and Baby Balloon.
One night, Baby Balloon crept into his parents' bedroom. He carefully undid Daddy's knot and deflated him a little.
Then he did the same to Mummy. Then he undid his own knot and let some air out.
The next morning Daddy Balloon confronted him.
"Baby Balloon, we are very disappointed in you. You let me down. You let your mother down. But worst of all...
You let yourself down!"

Balloons For Sale!

They're 10c each or if you want them filled its 20c
Ive adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

If you should ever want to know your Dolphin name,

Just lick your finger then rub a balloon

At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly.

It was the best balloon giraffe I'd ever seen.

I had an interview for a party supplies store where I had to inflate a balloon as a test...

...I blew it :(

Why don't balloons do a lot drugs?

Because they think if they get to high they'll get busted.

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

He wanted to be a pop star.

I really regret getting a bigger air balloon for my business...

I have too much overhead now.

Two balloons were floating around a desert.

One said to the other, "look, a cactussssssssss..."

What do you put in a female balloon?

Shelium.

Two balloons are floating in the desert

Says the one to the other: Watch out for this cactusssssssssssss

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.

The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to c**...! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off

How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation?

Pls help me. The size of the problem is growing by the second.

For the first time in my life I can walk past a balloon and it doesn't stick to me

I'm absolutely ex-static!

What was the balloons last words to his dad?

Watch me Pop!

We're trying to come up with a plan to get my escaped helium balloon back. We've got some ideas.

But it's still up in the air.

My balloon elephant wouldn't fit in my backseat

So I had to pop the trunk

My grandad was highly decorated during WW2....

In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel and balloon on his helmet that got him shot.

Why shouldn't you give elsa a balloon

Because she'll let it go

Did you know that, with enough pressure, the human lung will burst like a balloon?

Anyway, I lost my medical license today.

What genre of music sounds scary to a balloon?

Pop music.

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of v**... and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they c**... anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's b**....

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm sick and tired of my wife blowing everything out of proportion," he complains to the bartender. "She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business."

For a surprise proposal, I wrote Will you marry me? on a balloon and handed it to my girlfriend.

Unfortunately she…popped the question.

What did Beyonce say to the boy who lost his balloon?

If you liked it then you shoulda put a string on it.

Instead of actual serious spying gear, the Chinese used a balloon. Why?

Because of inflation.

What do Michael Jackson and a fighter pilot shooting down a balloon have in common?

Both are King of Pop.

What's the difference between this joke and the Chinese balloon?

This joke will be shot down immediately.

Blowing up a Balloon.

My niece had a p**... baby that spent 2 weeks on a ventilator because her lungs were not fully developed yet. She continued to have breathing problems as a toddler and needed to you inhalers to get enough oxygen.
On her 3rd birthday, she insisted on helping her mom decorate for her party. And despite her chronic breathing issues, that little girl was able to blow up a balloon faster than the entire United States Air Force.

Dating in my 30's is like being a Chinese weather balloon.

I'm the size of three busses and I just keep getting shot down.

Time Traveler

A time traveler shows up in Manhattan and asks the nearest person what year it is. The person responds, 2023 of course.
The time traveler looks up at the sky and mumbles, Ah yes, the first year of the Balloon Wars.

What does Elsa do with a Balloon?

She'll let it go!

Balloon joke, What does Elsa do with a Balloon?

jokes about balloon