The Best 88 Balloon Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Balloon jokes. There are some balloon bladder jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these balloon baloon puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Balloon Jokes and Puns

Why are balloons expensive?


I'll see myself out, unless this blows up.

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

pop culture

I bought my girlfriend a big helium balloon for her birthday

it didn't go down very well.

Balloon joke, I bought my girlfriend a big helium balloon for her birthday

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

man in a hot air balloon

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."

Two balloons

are floating in the desert. one balloon says to the other, "hey! watch out for that cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"

Helium is a limited resource and we could run out of it in our lifetime...

Balloon prices are going to go sky high.

Balloon joke, Helium is a limited resource and we could run out of it in our lifetime...

What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?

A LED Zeppelin

Meanwhile in business news...

...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate

So I was sucking a helium balloon and was like

He He He

Don't Eat Too Many Lollipops

A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says, "Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will blow up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says, "I know what you've been doing!"

You can explore balloon elsa reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean balloon confetti dad jokes. There are also balloon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A little boy is always biting his nails...

A little boy is always biting his nails. In the end his mom gets angry and says, "If you continue to bite your nails you'll get bigger and bigger and bigger until you blow up like a balloon!" A few days later the little boy is on the bus when a very pregnant woman sits opposite him. After a few minutes the lady realizes that the little boy is staring at her. "Do you know me?" she asks. "No," says the boy. "But I know what you've been doing."

Why is it a bad idea to give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'll "Let it go! Let it go!"

This joke was made up by my 5 year old nephew.

Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?

With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.

Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'd just "let it go".

My 6 year old told me this.

I will show myself out now...

A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride

The man from Egypt says "we're in Egypt! I can see the beautiful pyramids". A while later the man from Paris says "we're in Paris! I can see the Eiffel Tower from here". Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. He said "we're in Liverpool! I can see someone stealing my car!".

Balloon joke, A man from Egypt, a man from Paris and a man from Liverpool are all on a hot air balloon ride


My daughter just told me this before bed.

Why is Elsa not allowed a balloon?

Because she'll let it goooo

Did you all hear about the Cold Air Balloon?

It didn't really take off

Why are old balloons cheaper than new balloons?

Because of inflation

TIFU in a hot air balloon

... It was amazing.

The price of a balloon has really gone up recently

I think it's because of inflation

Why was the girl with the Frozen balloon sad?

Because she...let it go!

What do you call a balloon animal made out of a condom?

A Trojan horse.

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she'd just Let It Go.

As told to me by my 5 year-old daughter

Instead of a blue or pink balloon for a gender reveal..

A piggy bank should be smashed revealing $1 for a boy or 78 cents for a girl.

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

The last time I made a chick moist....

was a water balloon fight in 4th grade.

I accidentally popped your first balloon.

The second was my favorite.

I had an idea for a hot air balloon underwear company.

I couldn't get it off the ground.

How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support.

(My son found that in a children's joke book)

I started a cold air balloon business.

I'm having trouble getting it off the ground.

What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes?


My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon

It never really took off.

The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight.

I'm just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.

what type of music does a balloon hate?

Pop music

Our local council said they are going to get all the coins out of the wishing well and put them into a balloon.

Talk about getting everyone's hopes up.

If I bought a balloon for $0.99...

How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?

What do you call a dad balloon that disappears?



The sound of a water balloon hitting a "Trick Or Treater" square in the face.

Now try and have a Happy Halloween.

Why were there balloons in the bathroom?

There was a birthday potty.

What do you do for a sick balloon?

You helium up.

What music does a balloon really hate?


Hey! What's up?

A heartwarming animated film about a boy, an old man, and his dog who all fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.

Liam Neeson was walking on a road.

He suddenly slipped and fell, twisting his knee. He looks around for some help. He sees a kid with a balloon coming towards him.

"Hey kid. Come here." He called him, asking for his help.

"Hello Liam Neeson, I see you are hurt. What happened?" He asks.

"Hurt my knee kid. Can you help me please?"

"Sure, take this." He says, handing him the balloon.

"What's this for?" Looking at him, confused.

"This is full of Heal-Liam."

What do you call the basket on a hot air balloon?

A balooney bin. Fuuuuuuck I hate myself.

why are balloons getting so expensive nowadays?


I was going to invest in a hot air balloon.....

but it's a bit up in the air at the moment

A physicist insisted on his wife giving birth on a hot air balloon.

When his son turned out to be a shame on the family, he told him: "You had so much potential!"

What do you get if you cross a porcupine with a balloon?


I always carry a condom in my wallet in case a date goes unexpectedly well...

that way I can impress her with my balloon animals skills.

What does a hot air balloon and a homeless person have in common

No visible means of support

Balloons remind me of my dad

They don't come back

There was a family of balloons...

Daddy Balloon, Mummy Balloon, and Baby Balloon.

One night, Baby Balloon crept into his parents' bedroom. He carefully undid Daddy's knot and deflated him a little.
Then he did the same to Mummy. Then he undid his own knot and let some air out.

The next morning Daddy Balloon confronted him.

"Baby Balloon, we are very disappointed in you. You let me down. You let your mother down. But worst of all...

You let yourself down!"

Why was the balloon scared of having a soda?

He didn't want to pop.

Balloons For Sale!

They're 10c each or if you want them filled its 20c

Ive adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

If you should ever want to know your Dolphin name,

Just lick your finger then rub a balloon

At the touch of her lips, it grew long and swollen. I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly.

It was the best balloon giraffe I'd ever seen.

I am considering making a balloon of my subconscious...

But I'm afraid it will only inflate my ego...

Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she would let it go...let it go....let it go.

(From my daughter)

I had an interview for a party supplies store where I had to inflate a balloon as a test...

...I blew it :(

Why did the balloon prices go up?

Because of inflation.

So there is a dad balloon, a mum balloon, and a son balloon.

The son balloon gets a scary nightmare so he goes to sleep with his mum and dad. The mum and dad take up too much of the bed so he can't sleep there. He comes up with a plan and let's a little bit of air out of both the balloons and sleeps in between them.

Next morning, the dad and mum balloon have a talk with the son balloon. They say son, you've really let us down

My grandfather was a very intelligent man.

He was an inventor. He invented the cold air balloon. Only problem was it never really took off.

Outnumbered 6 to 5, John brought grenades to a water balloon fight.

"Isn't that a little... excessive?"
"No, I'm just trying to level the playing field.

What is the worst time to hear that your loved one has died?

Right after you took a large hit from a helium balloon.

I don't think that balloons can be inflated.

How come balloons don't do drugs?

Because they're afraid of getting high and getting busted

PS: Heard in a TV show and wanted to share the laughter to everyone in here.

I wrote Will you marry me? on a balloon to propose to my girlfriend.

Then I chickened out at the last moment, and had to pop the question.

Why don't balloons do a lot drugs?

Because they think if they get to high they'll get busted.

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

He wanted to be a pop star.

I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion.

She's single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

I really regret getting a bigger air balloon for my business...

I have too much overhead now.

Why shouldn't you let Elsa hold a balloon?

Because she'll just let it go

Two balloons were floating around a desert.

One said to the other, "look, a cactussssssssss..."

What do you call a redneck in a hot air balloon with a spasming epiglottis?

A hiccup

Why don't Balloons do drugs?

Because they are afraid that the will get high and get busted

What do you put in a female balloon?


If you love something, set it free. If it comes back is was meant to be.

That was definitely not a balloon.

Two balloons are floating in the desert

Says the one to the other: Watch out for this cactusssssssssssss

An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman, and a Scotsman are all on a hot air balloon.

The conductor almost panicked says, there's too much weight! Someone needs to jump off, or we're going to crash! The Welshman bravely steps up, For the glory of wales! And the Welshman throws himself off. The conductor still panicked says, okay, we're close but there is still too much weight! The Irishman, in a patriotic manner yells, For Ireland! And throws the Englishman off

How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation?

Pls help me. The size of the problem is growing by the second.

For the first time in my life I can walk past a balloon and it doesn't stick to me

I'm absolutely ex-static!

Why did no one give Elsa a balloon for her birthday?

Because she'll just Let It Go.

told to me by a 7yo that thought it was the funniest thing they've ever heard.

What was the balloons last words to his dad?

Watch me Pop!

So I invested in a hot air balloon company...

And it's really taken off

We're trying to come up with a plan to get my escaped helium balloon back. We've got some ideas.

But it's still up in the air.

My balloon elephant wouldn't fit in my backseat

So I had to pop the trunk

My grandad was highly decorated during WW2....

In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel and balloon on his helmet that got him shot.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the balloon dirigible jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working balloon balloonist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes