Bald People Jokes
43 bald people jokes and hilarious bald people puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bald people that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bald People Short Jokes
Short bald people jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bald people humour may include short bald man jokes also.
- I like playing chess with bald people in the park The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them
- Why do bald people like holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair.
- I was fed-up with people laughing at me for being bald, so I went out and bought a hairpiece. It was a small price toupee.
- The best thing about being tall and having a bald patch... Is that people think you're just tall.
- Bald people struggle with improv, They can't seem to come up with anything off the top of their head.
- I was balding and losing confidence so I had a rabbit tattooed on my scalp. People tell me, from a distance it looks like hare.
- I like playing chess with bald people at the park It's usually pretty hard to find 32 of them though...
- Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."
Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"
Mike: "No. She"s a blonde." - ELI5: How do bald people determine where to end soaping when they wash their face? Or do they just go all the way and shampoo with the soap.
- I'm a people person... Your daddy is so bald when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a busted c**...
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Bald People One Liners
Which bald people one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bald people? I can suggest the ones about bald guy and bald headed.
- What do you call a barber that only works on bald people? An air stylist.
- Every Zodiac sign has a signature hairstyle For instance, people with cancer are bald
- What do you call an airplane full of bald people? Receding airlines...
- Why can't bald people eat rabbits? They don't have hare.
- How do Bald people get their hair back? They have toupee.
- Why don't bald people use keys? Because they don't have any locks
- When bald people wash there face, How far up do they go?
- What God do Bald people pray to? Wigneshwar
- How do bald people wash their head? They use air conditioner.
- If your body is a temple then dies that mean a bunch of bald people come inside you?
- I wanted to be a hair stylist for bald people.
- Why do only bald people get cancer?
- People say that I'm balding... But I'm really just getting more head.
Uproarious Bald People Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about bald people you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bald head jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bald people pranks.
My sister has this new guy
Totally bald, sleeps all day, if he's not sleeping he screams at her, she gotta cook his food, he doesn't work, doesn't clean (actually, he mostly just causes a huge mess), doesn't do anything, but she really loves him.
I have no idea what makes people love babies.
My ex has a new guy
He's horrible. Doesn't do jack s**... around the house, lies around all the time, hitting the bottle pretty hard or yelling at her whenever it's empty. He also ain't really a looker, he's bald and kinda short and ... I really don't understand what people see in babies.
Ever since my daughter was born people have said, "She looks just like you!"
I'm not sure how to take that. I think -- maybe -- they're trying to be nice? But they've literally just said, "Hey, your little girl looks just like a fat, balding middle aged man."
I told this girl that people often tell me I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's twin.
"I don't think so," she laughed, "You're fat, bald, don't work out, and are much too short!"
"I know.... Danny DeVito."
A joke my dad told me many years ago when I was young.
Me: Dad, why are some guys bald in the front and some on the back of their heads?
Dad: They're caused by different things. You see, people who are bald on their foreheads are thinkers. And people who are bald on the back of their heads means that they're really smart.
Me: What about those guys who are bald in both sides?
Dad: It means: they think that they're smart.
People say I'm the Lebron James of Comedy...
Because I'm balding and Delonte West had s**... with my mother
Three babies were in the w**... talking amongst themselves about their future
They get on the topic of what they want to be when they are born and grow up.
The first baby says: "when I get older, I want to be a molder of young minds! A teacher is what I'm aiming for."
The second baby says: "when I'm a adult, I want to heal and save people! I'll be a doctor."
The third baby thinks for a second and says: "I want to be a boxer".
The other two babies look at him in confusion and ask why.
"Because when I get out, I want to beat up the bald headed man who keeps spitting on me!"
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar...
Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.
Bernie Sanders says "Hello, can I have a drink?" and gets a drink.
Donald Trump walks up to the bartender and says "Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? By the way, bartender, you are extremely ugly. I f***ing hate you. You're also bald. I hope that you die soon. When I become president I will make sure to deport ugly and bald people like you."
The entire bar looks in shock. A news reporter, there at that time, says to a patron of the bar, who originated from the South, "What do you think of this?".
The patron replies "Absolutely f***ing disgusting - Bernie Sanders didn't say Merry Christmas!"