Bald Eagle Jokes
47 bald eagle jokes and hilarious bald eagle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bald eagle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Bald Eagle Short Jokes
Short bald eagle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bald eagle humour may include short eagle jokes also.
- What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a bald eagle A life time ban from the zoo and a felony...apparently
- What did the Cardinal cry after being attacked by a predatory bird? The Cardinal Bald Eagle
- Why was the freeway jam packed with bald eagles driving cars? Because this traffic is for the birds......
- The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
- Regular Eagle Friend1: *puts wig on his pet bald eagle* /
Friend2: What are you doing? /
Friend1: I'm turning it into a regular eagle! - If the Bald Eagle is the symbol of freedom and the Dove is the symbol of peace, what bird is the symbol of love? The s**....
- What did they call h**... after he lost his hair? The Bald Eagle.....
I'm here all day folks
Share These Bald Eagle Jokes With Friends
Bald Eagle One Liners
Which bald eagle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bald eagle? I can suggest the ones about golf eagle and bird of prey.
- How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side
- What kind of bird doesn't need a comb? A bald eagle.
- I like bald eagles. They taste almost just like baby seals.
- Why was the medicine man for bald eagles arrested? He was selling ill-eagle drugs.
- If you put Proactive on bald eagles Will their white heads disappear?
- what type of bird never needs a haircut a Bald Eagle
- Who has been waiting the longest for Philadelphia's first NFL championship? Bald eagles
- Why do bald eagles always look mad? Because they're bald.
- Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine? To cover up his bald spot.
- Why is it against the law to hunt bald eagles? Because it's ill-eagle.
- Do you know what bald eagle tastes like? Freedom.
- Why is it i**... to hunt bald eagles? It's ill-eagle.
- Why can't you kill a bald eagle? Cause it's i**...
- Did you hear about that new bald eagle poison? It's i**... if you use it.
Comical Bald Eagle Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about bald eagle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bald headed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bald eagle pranks.
A man is arrested for killing a condor
A man is arrested for killing an endangered condor. Before the judge, the man says, "Your honor, I only killed the condor to feed my hungry family."
The judge says, "Well, I can't charge a man for feeding his family. And I'm curious so I'll let you off with a warning if you answer one question. What did it taste like?"
The man says, Somewhere between a bald eagle and a baby seal."
m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were cruising down the coast.
Coming around a bend they saw a magnificent bald eagle in the middle of the road. When m**... swerved to miss it he lost control of the car and they plummeted off a cliff to their death.
A tragic case of killing two Stones with one bird.
Two Bald Eagles
A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.
He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.
"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.
"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."
Two guys are out hunting deer.
The first guy says "Did you see that?"
No" the second guy says.
Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.
Oh.
A couple of minutes later, the first guy says "Did you see that?"
See what?"
Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.
Oh".
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says "Yes, I did!"
Then why did you step in it?"
I built the most American guitar ever
Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.
So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"
The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."
A man is caught feasting on a Bald Eagle by a park ranger.
He is taken to court and the judge asks him why he committed this crime.
The man replies I had no other choice and this was my only way of survival.
Given the circumstances, the judge decides that this man is telling the truth and let's him off the case. But being curious, the judge asks Well, how did it taste like?
The man replied Have you ever had Spotted Owl?
A park ranger finds a man in the wilderness eating a bald eagle.
The man is arrested and brought to trial for killing a protected bird.
He pleads with the judge, "Your honor, I was lost in the wilderness for three days without food, and the eagle attacked me. I fought back in self-defense, and I ate it because I was starving."
The judge listens to the tale and rules that the man is not guilty. But he turns to the man and asks, "Well, now that we're done with all that, I admit that I am curious to know, what does bald eagle taste like?"
"Well, your honor, it's like a cross between a snowy owl and a whooping crane."
Bob is being interviewed for a police officer job...
The captain conducting the interview starts with some general knowledge questions. The captain asks "what is the national animal of America?". Bob correctly answers "bald eagle". The next question "how many states are there in America?". Again Bob answers correctly "50 States". The captain asks the last general knowledge question "who killed Abraham Lincoln?". Bob is stumped by this question and thinks for a long time. He finally says "I don't know". Disappointed that the candidate couldn't answer a simple history question he dismisses Bob saying "you really should go find out". Bob leaves the interview and goes home. His wife asks "how'd the interview go?" Bob replies with a big smile on his face, "Great! I've already been assigned to a m**... investigation"
Endangered meal
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
Did you see that?
"No," the second guy says.
"Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says.
"Oh," says the second guy.
A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?"
"See what?" the second guy asks.
"Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there."
"Oh."
A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"
By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"
And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"
