Balance Jokes
158 balance jokes and hilarious balance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about balance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the balance between work life and play with some of the funniest balance-related jokes. Get ready to laugh as we look into balance sheet, balance beam, balance druid, New Balance, Pistorius, Chex and consciousness jokes. Read on for more funny balance stories that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
Quick Jump To
- Short Balance Jokes
- Balance One Liners
- New Balance Jokes
- Balance Sheet Jokes
- Work Life Balance Jokes
- Balance Beam Jokes
- More Balance Jokes
Funniest Balance Short Jokes
Short balance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The balance humour may include short amount jokes also.
- I was at the atm when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance... So I pushed her over.
- I was at an atm and some little kid asked me to help him check his balance ... So I pushed him over
- I lost my job at the bank on the first day... ...a lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over
- Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM I asked him what he was doing and he said he was checking his balance.
- So I'm in line at the ATM. And the old woman in front of me asked me to help her check her balance..
So I pushed her over - Today at the bank Today at the bank, an old lady asked me help check her balance.
So i pushed her over - Courtesy of my 7 year old - What happens if you don't eat a balanced diet? You will tip over
- I'm going through a divorce at the moment, and my soon to be ex-wife said she is going to make sure my bank balance is going to be $0. That's nice of her, paying off all my debt.
- Bad news. I got fired from my job at the bank today. I mean, it was an easy mistake... An elderly woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
- I was at the bank going to withdraw money from my account when the clerk told me I had an outstanding balance I told her thank you I did gymnastics as a kid.
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Balance One Liners
Which balance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with balance? I can suggest the ones about adjust and debit.
- What does a cannibal call a gymnast? A well balanced breakfast.
- A customer asked me to check their balance. ...so I pushed them over and they fell.
- A woman asked me to check her balance in the bank. So I pushed her over.
- I shoved a woman at the bank I work at She asked me to check her balance
- I saw a one legged man at the ATM He was checking his balance
- Thanos would make a great accountant The books would always be balanced.
- Why can't a broke man do acrobatics? His balance is terrible
- What do you call a stack of pancakes? A balanced breakfast
- How do you end a prayer to the noodle God? Ramen.
- How did the juggler become so rich? He knew how to balance his checkbook.
- What were the founding father's favorite cereals? Chex and Balance
- My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
- Why did the gymnast's account get sent to collections? She had an outstanding balance.
- On my first day as a bank teller, a woman told me to check her balance.. So I pushed her
- How does Thanos keep in shape? With a balanced diet.
New Balance Jokes
Here is a list of funny new balance jokes and even better new balance puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool. I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.
- My new bank is very uplifting... I'm $1,000 in debt, but they said my balance is *outstanding*!
- Why did the dad put the credit card statement on his feet? Because it said 'new balance' on it.
- What's an auditor's favorite brand of shoe? New Balance
- Chase releases new feature option to have your balance text to you daily I just wish they didn't add "lol" at the end of it.
- What is Thanos' favorite sneaker brand? New Balance.
- What do you get when you get a new shoe? A New Balance
- I met a girl who liked to try new s**... positions. She wanted to do it standing up while balancing on one leg. It was interesting but . . . we didn't get off on the right foot.
Balance Sheet Jokes
Here is a list of funny balance sheet jokes and even better balance sheet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today an old lady at the bank asked me to check her balance So I pulled up her account and gave her a sheet of paper with her account information on it
- How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today? On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...
- Balance sheet worries of both the accountant and ballerina
Work Life Balance Jokes
Here is a list of funny work life balance jokes and even better work life balance puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Ask a counseling student how to reduce stress, they'll discuss mindfulness, work-life balance, etc. Ask an engineering student, they'll ask back, "Normal or Shear?"
- Did you hear the one about the suicidal kamikaze pilot? Talk about work-life balance
Balance Beam Jokes
Here is a list of funny balance beam jokes and even better balance beam puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid
Uplifting Balance Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about balance you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean budget jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make balance pranks.
Personally, I don't believe in bros before h**..., or h**... before bros. There needs to be a balance.
A homie-h**...-stasis, if you will.
I'm not one to brag about my financial skills,
but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.
I was waiting in line at the ATM
when I noticed the old woman in front of me having a bit of trouble using the machine. I walked up to her and asked if she needed any help. She turned to me and asked if I could check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I'm not trying to say that the customer service in my bank is bad...
But when i went in the other day, and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.
I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg
He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
Old lady at ATM
Last night I was walking home late at night when I saw an old lady having some trouble at an ATM machine . I approached her and asked could I help her in any way .
She turned around and thanked me before explaining that she simply wanted to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Check balance
Q: What happened when the man asked the bank teller to check his balance?
A: She pushed him over.
An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
I don't usually brag about my finances, but...
my credit card company calls me almost everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding
Last night I was drunk and walking back home with gf. I tripped into an ATM and told her I was just checking my balance
I was at the bank earlier and an elderly lady asked me to check her balance for her
I still don't understand why she was mad when I pushed her over
My credit card company is super nice, they really help boost my self esteem...
They always tell me I have an outstanding balance!
My bank is really proud of me.
They keep calling to tell me I have an outstanding balance.
The bank called today to let me know I had an overdraft balance that was still outstanding
I said thanks, that's really nice of you to say so
Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account?
Her balance was outstanding.
A builder came up to me.
He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"
"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."
So the other day I was standing in a line for an ATM...
There was an old lady there who looked like she had absolutely no clue what she was doing, after a bit of fumbling with the keys, she turned to me and said, "You look like a helpful young lad, Could you help me check my balance."
So I pushed her over.
This morning I was at the atm when an elderly woman asked if I could check her balance
So I pushed her over
I'm a bank teller and some old lady asked for help checking her balance
... So I pushed her over
What did the gymnast and the grad student have in common?
The both had an outstanding balance.
What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common?
I cry whenever I see them.
They say you should work until your bank account looks like a phone number. I checked my balance and realized, if that was true, I could retire!
I have $9.11 in my account.
I'll have you know I'm in a great financial situation.
Even my credit card company says my balance is outstanding!
Just as there is a balance of good and evil....
There's a Friday for every Monday.
Have a great week :)
"Sir, your balance is outstanding."
I know my balance is outstanding, I've been skateboarding for years, but I fail to see how that's going to help me pay back this debt!
I can't understand why my credit card keeps getting declined
Every time I log into my account online it says I have an outstanding balance.
Whenever I drink the first thing it affects is my balance
Just look at my bank account.
I asked the banker to check my balance.
He pushed me.
I rode my unicycle to the bank today. They told me I have outstanding balance.
I'm not exactly sure how to take it.
I lost my job as a cashier today.
An old lady asked if I could check her balance so far.
So I pushed her over.
Why did the bill collector go after the gymnast?
Because he had outstanding balance
A woman standing next to an ATM asked me if I can help her check her balance.
So I pushed her.
By far the best black friday deal of 2017...
My bank account, with a 100% balance discount.
Finally found out why dairy cows lose their balance so easily
They lactose
An old lady at the ATM
The old lady in front of me at the ATM was taking a while. When done, she turned around and asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
What did the Loan Officer say to the Tightrope Walker after he gave him a loan?
You have an outstanding balance
What happened when I lost my balance on Paris's most famous landmark?
Eiffel
Did you hear about Tom Hiddleston's secret audition to be in the next Marvel movie? Apparently he dropped his voice an octave to throw the casting director off balance...
He was auditioning as a low key, low-key, Loki.
I lost my job as a bank teller on my first day.
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I shoved her and she fell down.
I got fired on my first day at the bank yesterday when an old lady asked me to check her balance
I pushed her over
I went into the bank earlier to check my balance
Got some funny looks standing on one leg with my arms outstretched
Girls always tell me I'm ugly until they see the balance in my bank account
They then call me ugly and broke :(
I'm so broke, I went to check my account balance at the ATM...
And it printed me out a coupon for Ramen Noodles
How did the psychic balance work and family?
By finding a happy medium
Today at the bank, an old lady asked for me to help check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
I was going to buy a seesaw
But I didn't have enough balance.
My parents told me to work until my bank balance looked like a phone number
I'm happy to say that I've achieved my goal, and am retiring with $911.
I was at the ATM when...
This old lady approached me and asked if I could check her balance for her so i pushed her and she fell down.
Her balance was not that good.
I don't mean to brag..
But my credit card company calls me every day to say my balance is outstanding.
Got a compliment from my bank today.
I have an outstanding balance.
Jesus and Moses are at a lake in heaven
They both want to see if their powers still work
so moses splits the lake, walks right through, and says "alright jesus, now you try it"
So jesus tries to walk atop the waters but winks right through, and swims to the other side.
"What happened?" Moses asks, "Did you lose balance or something?"
"Well last time I didn't have holes in my feet"
The other day I had to go to the bank...
There was an old woman in line ahead of me, and she was having trouble with the ATM.
She turned to me and asked to help check her balance.
So I shoved her over.
I'm normally not one to brag about my financial skills
But my credit card company calls me almost everyday to inform me my balance is outstanding!
You know the saying "bros before h**..."?
Well, I've found out how I can balance my relationships between the two evenly...
...a homie-h**...-stasis, if you will
Saw a guy standing on one leg at an ATM.
Saw a guy standing on one leg at an ATM. Confused, I asked him what he was doing. He was just checking his balance.
Why did the bank teller push the old lady over?
Because she asked to check her balance.
I got fired from my job at the bank. An elderly lady came in and asked me to check her balance
One broken hip later and I'm unemployed.
6 hours after a major bank robbery took place this morning, the bank have finally released their statement.
Withdrawn: £7 000 000.00
Balance: £0.00
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old woman came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What do a Credit Card and a Gymnast have in common?
Outstanding Balance!
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
A little old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A old lady in a bank ask me to check her balance so i pushed her over
and her balance was bad
My bank called today to notify that my account has been reclassified
Judging by the balance they had to classify it as Satire Account
