The Best 80 Balance Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Balance jokes. There are some balance debit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these balance assets puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Balance Jokes and Puns

Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

I'm not one to brag about my financial skills,

but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.

I was waiting in line at the ATM

when I noticed the old woman in front of me having a bit of trouble using the machine. I walked up to her and asked if she needed any help. She turned to me and asked if I could check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Balance joke, I was waiting in line at the ATM

I'm not trying to say that the customer service in my bank is bad...

But when i went in the other day, and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.

I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg

He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over


My bank loves me.

They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.

An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.

"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.

"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.

"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

Balance joke, An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

So I'm in line at the ATM.

And the old woman in front of me asked me to help her check her balance..

So I pushed her over

A customer asked me to check their balance.

...so I pushed them over and they fell.

Old lady at ATM

Last night I was walking home late at night when I saw an old lady having some trouble at an ATM machine . I approached her and asked could I help her in any way .

She turned around and thanked me before explaining that she simply wanted to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

I was at the ATM when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance...

So I pushed her over.

You can explore balance consciousness reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean balance bank dad jokes. There are also balance puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Check balance

Q: What happened when the man asked the bank teller to check his balance?
A: She pushed him over.

An old lady standing in line at a bank machine asked me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

I don't usually brag about my finances, but...

my credit card company calls me almost everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding

Last night I was drunk and walking back home with gf. I tripped into an ATM and told her I was just checking my balance

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

Balance joke, What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

I was at the bank earlier and an elderly lady asked me to check her balance for her

I still don't understand why she was mad when I pushed her over

Why did the gymnast's account get sent to collections?

She had an outstanding balance.

My credit card company is super nice, they really help boost my self esteem...

They always tell me I have an outstanding balance!


My bank is really proud of me.

They keep calling to tell me I have an outstanding balance.

The bank called today to let me know I had an overdraft balance that was still outstanding

I said thanks, that's really nice of you to say so

Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account?

Her balance was outstanding.

A builder came up to me.

He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"

"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."

So the other day I was standing in a line for an ATM...

There was an old lady there who looked like she had absolutely no clue what she was doing, after a bit of fumbling with the keys, she turned to me and said, "You look like a helpful young lad, Could you help me check my balance."
So I pushed her over.

I'm a bank teller and some old lady asked for help checking her balance

... So I pushed her over

I was at an atm and some little kid asked me to help him check his balance

... So I pushed him over

What does my Uncle and my account balance have in common?

I cry whenever I see them.

I'll have you know I'm in a great financial situation.

Even my credit card company says my balance is outstanding!

Just as there is a balance of good and evil....

There's a Friday for every Monday.
Have a great week :)

I can't understand why my credit card keeps getting declined

Every time I log into my account online it says I have an outstanding balance.

Whenever I drink the first thing it affects is my balance

Just look at my bank account.

I asked the banker to check my balance.

He pushed me.

I was at the bank going to withdraw money from my account when the clerk told me I had an outstanding balance

I told her thank you I did gymnastics as a kid.

I lost my job as a cashier today.

An old lady asked if I could check her balance so far.

So I pushed her over.

Why can't a broke man do acrobatics?

His balance is terrible

Why did the bill collector go after the gymnast?

Because he had outstanding balance

A woman standing next to an ATM asked me if I can help her check her balance.

So I pushed her.

I lost my job as a bank teller on my first day.

A woman asked me to check her balance, so I shoved her and she fell down.

I got fired on my first day at the bank yesterday when an old lady asked me to check her balance

I pushed her over

My bank has a new feature where they'll text you your bank balance. I think it's pretty cool.

I just don't think they should end the text with "LOL", though.

I went into the bank earlier to check my balance

Got some funny looks standing on one leg with my arms outstretched

Girls always tell me I'm ugly until they see the balance in my bank account

They then call me ugly and broke :(

I'm so broke, I went to check my account balance at the ATM...

And it printed me out a coupon for Ramen Noodles

I lost my job at the bank on the first day...

...a lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over

Today at the bank, an old lady asked for me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

My parents told me to work until my bank balance looked like a phone number

I'm happy to say that I've achieved my goal, and am retiring with $911.

I don't mean to brag..

But my credit card company calls me every day to say my balance is outstanding.

Jesus and Moses are at a lake in heaven

They both want to see if their powers still work

so moses splits the lake, walks right through, and says "alright jesus, now you try it"

So jesus tries to walk atop the waters but winks right through, and swims to the other side.

"What happened?" Moses asks, "Did you lose balance or something?"

"Well last time I didn't have holes in my feet"

The other day I had to go to the bank...

There was an old woman in line ahead of me, and she was having trouble with the ATM.

She turned to me and asked to help check her balance.

So I shoved her over.

I'm normally not one to brag about my financial skills

But my credit card company calls me almost everyday to inform me my balance is outstanding!

I'm going through a divorce at the moment, and my soon to be ex-wife said she is going to make sure my bank balance is going to be $0.

That's nice of her, paying off all my debt.

You know the saying "bros before hoes"?

Well, I've found out how I can balance my relationships between the two evenly...



...a homie-hoe-stasis, if you will

Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM

I asked him what he was doing and he said he was checking his balance.

Saw a guy standing on one leg at an ATM.

Saw a guy standing on one leg at an ATM. Confused, I asked him what he was doing. He was just checking his balance.

Why did the bank teller push the old lady over?

Because she asked to check her balance.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old woman came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

On my first day as a bank teller, a woman told me to check her balance..

So I pushed her

A woman asked me to check her balance in the bank.

So I pushed her over.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

A little old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A old lady in a bank ask me to check her balance so i pushed her over

and her balance was bad

My bank called today to notify that my account has been reclassified

Judging by the balance they had to classify it as Satire Account

Was at the ATM withdrawing money, then a robber tried to rob my balance

I fell.

Me- Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?

Alexa- apple juice

I don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis if you will.

I was at the bank today and an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

I don't usually boast about my finances

But my credit card company calls me everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding

I don't believe in bros before hoes

Personally I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros. There needs to be a balance.



A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

I just checked my account balance at the ATM

It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles

An old lady walked into the bank and asked me if I could help her check her balance

So I pushed her over

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day and went to jail!

A cop asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over.

An old woman walks into a bank and asks the teller to check her balance.

So he pushed her over

Mama always said Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.

Well I did it! Bank balance: 9.11!

Peeping Tom decided to spend more time at home . . .

He was trying to maintain a proper lurk/wife balance.

I got a job at the bank but I got fired!

An old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What does my heart, soul, bank balance and balls all have in common?

They're empty and, my wife doesn't know yet.

I lost my job at the bank

Turns out you're not supposed to push customers if they ask you to check their balance.

Why did I get kicked out

All I did was go to the bank and the woman in front of me asked me if I could check her balance its not my fault she banged her head after

So I like to stand on one leg sometime, like a flamingo, to help with building my balance...

My girlfriend always rolls her eyes at me and the other day she snapped and yelled at me to stop.

I said, This is my house, don't make me put my foot down..

Deciding if you should tip someone can be hard

It all essentially comes down whether their balance can take it.

How did the juggler become so rich?

He knew how to balance his checkbook.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the balance libra jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working balance gumball piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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