Bakery Jokes
129 bakery jokes and hilarious bakery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bakery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh until you need to pull out a ciabatta – these bakeries jokes have something for everyone! From jokes about bakery robberies to jokes about the love affair between loaves of bread, we've got you covered. Read on and enjoy the many puns and witty one-liners about baking.
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Funniest Bakery Short Jokes
Short bakery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bakery humour may include short baked goods jokes also.
- A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks... Man: 'Is this Gluten free?'
Cashier: No.
It costs $4.50 - I used to work in a bakery, didn't really enjoy it and the pay wasn't great... I just kneaded the dough
I'm sorry, I'll leave now... - I helped my Community Theater put on a play about a Bakery. I wouldn't say I was the star... But I did play a roll
- A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner
- Me and my French girlfriend started a bakery in Paris with our life savings. It didn't take off. I went bankrupt. She left me. Now all I have is pain.
- If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man? I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..
- Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery... Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"
Baker: "What type do you want sir?"
Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye." - A guy walks into a bakery He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "baguette however you want".
- Remember: YouTube is a private company that can do whatever it wants. It's not like it's a bakery or something.
- Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany? They had to do *something* with all of the ovens.
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Bakery One Liners
Which bakery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bakery? I can suggest the ones about pastry and baking.
- Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers.
- I tried to start an online bakery. But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
- What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men? A pastryarchy.
- I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery... Now I'm in a world of pain.
- Did you hear about the fire at the bakery? No one was hurt but business is toast.
- I once went to an all you can eat bakery in France. It was a painful experience.
- Is the bakery hiring? Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.
- What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery? Only one cannoli.
- I got a job at a bakery Because I really kneaded the dough
- How do they package bread at the bakery? They baguette.
- What do you call a bakery that only sells bagels and donuts? Hole foods
- Why are rich people bad at running a bakery? Because they don't knead the dough
- What did Yoda say when the bakery was out of Pies? Dough. Or Doughnut. There is no Pie.
- I went to a haunted bakery yesterday That place really gave me the crepes
- I robbed a bakery today. It was dangerous, but I took the whisk.
Bakery Robbery Jokes
Here is a list of funny bakery robbery jokes and even better bakery robbery puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you see the newspaper headlines about the Christmas Eve robbery at the German bakery? It said… STOLLEN STOLEN!!
- Did you hear about the robbery at the bakery? The guy ab*scone*ded after the crime.
I'll see myself out... - What do you call a robbery at a bakery? A bread-stick-em-up!
- Did you hear about the robbery at the bakery? The thieves said 'give me all your dough.'
Bakery Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny bakery love jokes and even better bakery love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was fired from a bakery... Their packaging says their products are "made with love" and they said I was only making them with "like."
Fun-Filled Bakery Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about bakery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bread baker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bakery pranks.
My local college has a scheme that lets student earn their tuition by working in the on campus bakery.
The opportunity isn't open to everyone. It's run on a strictly knead to know basis.
My girlfriend asked me why I work at the bakery if I don't enjoy it.
I told her it's because I knead the dough.
Why didn't Jimmy want to work at the bakery?
It had a high turnover rate.
Another classic Dutch Bakerjoke
* A dog walks into a bakery
* Baker: How can I help you?
* Dog: Woof!
* Baker: Anything else?
* Dog: Bark!
* Baker: That'll be 12 Euro's. Do you want a receipt?
* Dog: No.
Just robbed a bakery
I kneaded the dough.
Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?
He didn't knead any more dough.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals...
but bakery robbers take the cake
What did the angry Indian man say at the bakery?
I'm having naan of it.
Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it
Baker says "Avocadough"
Fell through the glass doors of a French bakery and..
.. now I'm in a world of pain :D
(source: Sickipedia, some user called SoSueMe..)
Looks like the Indian bakery nearby is going through some tough times...
... I've just heard they've fired all Naan-essential staff.
A man walks into a bakery right before closing time
And asks, "do you have any pita?"
The baker responds, "no, there's naan left."
"Officer, what can you tell us about the break in at the bakery today?"
"Man I've seen all kinds of thieves in my career, but this one takes the cake"
Londoner classic.
A man walks into a bakery and asks the lady behind the counter. "How much for that "gattox" in the window? "
Lady says "gattox, oh you mean "gateaux" that's £12.99"
"12.99?!?!" shouts the man "bollo!!"
Online dating is like a bakery
You've got the flakes, the fruitcakes, and the tarts.
Why didn't Bono sell any wheat bread at his bakery?
Cuz it's all rye, it's all rye, it's all rye.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the prostitutes that started a bakery?
Everything is h**...-made.
Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business?
She told people to stop patronizing her.
how does a bakery know when to make more bread?
on a knead the dough basis
Quickly after robbing my bakery, a man got a severe headache
Serves him right. It's not his grain, it's migraine
Pasta Diet
1.. You walk pasta bakery.
2.. You walk pasta candy store.
3.. You walk pasta Ice Cream shop.
4.. You walk pasta fridge.
I own a very profitable bakery
I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough
I was working in a bakery and fell onto a bun
I guess you could say I'm on a roll
A man walks into a Jewish bakery...
and asks the cashier, "Excuse me, what's the challah cost?"
What type of bakery has the fastest service?
A Russian bakery.
Why did the German baker call the police?
Everything in his bakery was stollen
In a bakery:
Man to the shop assistant: I'll have that thing there, please.
Shop assistant: Cupcake?
Man: OK, Cupcake, I'll have that thing there, please.
Did you hear about the red head who worked at the bakery?
His friends called him the ginger bread man.
A man suffering from Alzheimer's leaves a bakery...
...and as he walks out the door the baker yells 'You forgotch'ya focaccia!'
(came from a dream i had. the GF insists its terrible but ill keep using it when i introduce it to her friends)
I just started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery.
It's a naan prophet organization.
A woman stole from our bakery today
We've had some bad stuff happen, but this really takes the cake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who decided to call it a "m**... Dispensary"?
And not a "Bakery"
What does a Japanese bakery thief say?
"I Tokyo cookie."
If I own a bakery in France...
am I the master of pain?
A guy starts his first day at a bakery...
The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.
"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a file drawer with a picture of a carrot on it. "And here's the zucchini dough."
"But what's this one with the picture of Kevin Spacey on it?" The new guy asks.
"Oh," the boss responds, "That's the pea dough file."
I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"
They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn't think so, it's on a knead to dough basis."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy was in a bakery and accidentally pushed open the door to the back room.
To his surprise, he saw one of the bakers lying down n**... on a counter, kneading bread dough on his chest. The guy turned and said to another baker, "That's the oddest thing I have ever seen." The baker replied, "You should see him make the doughnuts!"
An American and Canadian walk into a bakery
The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.
Did anyone hear about the new secret bakery?
It's on a knead to Dough basis
I'm not really in the mood to laugh, today my friends bakery burned down...
Now his business is toast :(
I started a part-time job at the bakery
Just to make a little extra dough.
I don't really like my job at the bakery.
But it puts bread on the table.
What do you say when you walk into a German bakery?
Gluten Morgen!
Boulangerie is a french bakery. Boucherie is a french butcher shop. What's a french ice cream shop?
Benandgerie.
Mr. Mole told Mrs. Mole he would have to work late at the bakery.
He comes home and she is furious. She says don't lie to me …
you were at the Bottoms Up bar getting lap dances from the female mole dancers! He said "why would you say that?" She exclaimed "Because your clothes smell like molasses.
What do you say in a haunted French bakery?
This place gives me the crepes.
I was turned away when I tried to order a pie from Yoda's bakery.
"Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."
A dad walks into a bakery...
...and he asks, "Hey do you have any big pieces of shortbread?"
The baker responds, "No, we don't make them any longer."
I was talking to someone the other day...
I was talking to someone the other day and they told me about their life. They said they'd lived their whole life in a bakery in London: they grew up there, went to school there and are now beginning to work there...
They're London born and bred.
What do you call a goat that works at a bakery?
A battering ram
I wanted to buy some bread from a south-Asian bakery
But i didnt get any because they said they had Naan...
I will leave now
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I work as a mortician, and recently had a case of an unidentified m**... victim who was killed in a bakery
I had to mark him down as a Jon dough.in the file.
Inspector Javert gives up on catching Jean Valjean and opens a bakery.
But old habits die hard. The bread is on special, two for $6.01
A blind man walks into the bakery
A blind man walks into the bakery and asks for 8 poppy seed breads. While the baker gathers them for him, he asks: are you expecting any visitors? No, replies the blind man. But I'm going on vacation, and they have such lovely story's written on them!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If my kids ask me, where do babies come from, I am going to say the bakery.
Because it all starts with a c**....
What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu?
Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the baker sing on the way to bakery?
Pie h**...! Pie h**...! It's off to work I go!
I think I've created a great dad joke:
I was conceived in a bakery.
You can say I was born and bread there.
What do people in this sub and a bakery have in common?
They both rely on cake to be successful
If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.
Norway I'd make this up!
Did you hear about the French baker whose bakery collapsed on him?
He was in a great deal of pain.
Nobody I talked to thought it was a good idea to rob a bakery
But it was a whisk I was willing to take
It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says do you have fish cakes? The man behind the counter replies, No .
That's a pity, it's his birthday
