The Best 59 Bakery Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Bakery jokes. There are some bakery cakes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bakery bake puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Bakery Jokes and Puns
My girlfriend asked me why I work at the bakery if I don't enjoy it.
I told her it's because I knead the dough.
Is the bakery hiring?
Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.
Another classic Dutch Bakerjoke
* A dog walks into a bakery
* Baker: How can I help you?
* Dog: Woof!
* Baker: Anything else?
* Dog: Bark!
* Baker: That'll be 12 Euro's. Do you want a receipt?
* Dog: No.
Peyton Manning is opening a bakery.
As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers.
Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?
He didn't knead any more dough.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals...
but bakery robbers take the cake
I decided to start working at a bakery...
I knead the dough.
What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead?
A Ginger Bread-House
Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it
Baker says "Avocadough"
If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."
You can explore bakery ciabatta reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bakery doughnut dad jokes. There are also bakery puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I used to work in a bakery, didn't really enjoy it and the pay wasn't great...
I just kneaded the dough
I'm sorry, I'll leave now...
Yesterday I heard there was a robbery at a bakery, I've heard of stupid crimes...
But this one really takes the cake.
What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?
Only one cannoli.
Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...
To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)
A man walks into a bakery...
So a man walks into a bakery with a fish under his arm. When he gets in there, the baker greets him and asks him how he could help the man.
"Do you sell fish cakes?", the man asks the baker.
"No, of course we don't!" the baker replies.
"But it's his birthday!"
I once went to an all you can eat bakery in France.
It was a painful experience.
A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.
He is the seoul breadwinner
My friend's bakery burned down last night
Now his business is toast
A man walks into a bakery right before closing time
And asks, "do you have any pita?"
The baker responds, "no, there's naan left."
If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man?
I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..
"Officer, what can you tell us about the break in at the bakery today?"
"Man I've seen all kinds of thieves in my career, but this one takes the cake"
Did you hear about the fire at the bakery?
No one was hurt but business is toast.
What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?
A pastryarchy.
Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business?
She told people to stop patronizing her.
How do they package bread at the bakery?
They baguette.
Quickly after robbing my bakery, a man got a severe headache
Serves him right. It's not his grain, it's migraine
Went to the Indian bakery today and asked for some bread
They said they had naan
I tried to start an online bakery.
But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
I got a job at a bakery
Because I really kneaded the dough
A guy walks into a bakery
He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".
I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery...
Now I'm in a world of pain.
I just started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery.
It's a naan prophet organization.
If I own a bakery in France...
am I the master of pain?
A guy starts his first day at a bakery...
The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.
"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a file drawer with a picture of a carrot on it. "And here's the zucchini dough."
"But what's this one with the picture of Kevin Spacey on it?" The new guy asks.
"Oh," the boss responds, "That's the pea dough file."
I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"
They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn't think so, it's on a knead to dough basis."
What do you call a bakery that only sells bagels and donuts?
Hole foods
My Buddies bakery burnt down last night....
His business is toast.
Remember: YouTube is a private company that can do whatever it wants.
It's not like it's a bakery or something.
A dad walks into a bakery...
...and he asks, "Hey do you have any big pieces of shortbread?"
The baker responds, "No, we don't make them any longer."
If my kids ask me, where do babies come from, I am going to say the bakery.
Because it all starts with a creampie.
Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery...
Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"
Baker: "What type do you want sir?"
Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye."
So my bakery restaurant burned down yesterday
My business is toast
What do you call a redhead who works at a bakery?
A ginger bread man!
Why did I accept a job at a bakery?
I kneaded the dough.
If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.
Norway I'd make this up!
Why are rich people bad at running a bakery?
Because they don't knead the dough
Nobody I talked to thought it was a good idea to rob a bakery
But it was a whisk I was willing to take
It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says do you have fish cakes? The man behind the counter replies, No .
That's a pity, it's his birthday
A man walks into a bakery on March 14th
He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.
He says, man look I'm out of ideas.
Well how about some cake then, asks the man.
Are you sure, no pie?
No sir, today is my cakeday!
I robbed a bakery today.
It was dangerous, but I took the whisk.
A Scottish man walks into a bakery and says "excuse me, is that a doughnut or a meringue?
To which the baker replies No you're right enough it's a doughnut"
What do you call a mentally handicapped bakery?
We tart it.
A Scottish man walks into a bakery.
He asks the baker "is that a cake or a meringue"
The baker replies "Nah, you're right mate"
A man is out buying bread in Soviet Russia
When he sees that the bakery is out of flour, he shouts:
"Damn this country, we are so poor, I haven't been able to get a loaf of bread in days"
A policeman hears that and approaches the man.
"Stop saying things like that or..." the policeman says as he uses his fingers to form a gun, points it toward the man and says "Bang!"
The man is stunned and walks home.
The wife sees that the man is shocked and asks:
"What happened? Did we run out of flour again?"
The man weakly replies:
"Not only that, it appears that we also ran out of bullets!"
I got a new job at a bakery.
I took the job because I kneaded the dough.
Somebody robbed the bakery the other day
Well, that just takes the cake!
Me and my French girlfriend started a bakery in Paris with our life savings. It didn't take off. I went bankrupt. She left me.
Now all I have is pain.
Mahatma Gandhi was once thrown out of an Indian bakery. Not surprising really . . .
He was widely known for being naan-violent.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bakery bakeries jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working bakery baker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.