Bakery Jokes
134 bakery jokes and hilarious bakery puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bakery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh until you need to pull out a ciabatta – these bakeries jokes have something for everyone! From jokes about bakery robberies to jokes about the love affair between loaves of bread, we've got you covered. Read on and enjoy the many puns and witty one-liners about baking.
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Funniest Bakery Short Jokes
Short bakery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bakery humour may include short baked goods jokes also.
- A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks... Man: 'Is this Gluten free?'
Cashier: No.
It costs $4.50 - I used to work in a bakery, didn't really enjoy it and the pay wasn't great... I just kneaded the dough
I'm sorry, I'll leave now... - I helped my Community Theater put on a play about a Bakery. I wouldn't say I was the star... But I did play a roll
- A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner
- Me and my French girlfriend started a bakery in Paris with our life savings. It didn't take off. I went bankrupt. She left me. Now all I have is pain.
- If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man? I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..
- Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery... Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"
Baker: "What type do you want sir?"
Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye." - A guy walks into a bakery He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "baguette however you want".
- Remember: YouTube is a private company that can do whatever it wants. It's not like it's a bakery or something.
- Did you know that the USSR had some of the world's best bakeries? People would stand in line all week just to get a single slice of bread!
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Bakery One Liners
Which bakery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bakery? I can suggest the ones about pastry and baking.
- Peyton Manning is opening a bakery. As a special promotion, he's giving away turnovers.
- I tried to start an online bakery. But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
- What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men? A pastryarchy.
- I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery... Now I'm in a world of pain.
- Did you hear about the fire at the bakery? No one was hurt but business is toast.
- My Buddies bakery burnt down last night.... His business is toast.
- I once went to an all you can eat bakery in France. It was a painful experience.
- My friend's bakery burned down last night Now his business is toast
- Is the bakery hiring? Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.
- What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery? Only one cannoli.
- I got a job at a bakery Because I really kneaded the dough
- How do they package bread at the bakery? They baguette.
- What do you call a bakery that only sells bagels and donuts? Hole foods
- Why did I accept a job at a bakery? I kneaded the dough.
- Why are rich people bad at running a bakery? Because they don't knead the dough
Bakery Robbery Jokes
Here is a list of funny bakery robbery jokes and even better bakery robbery puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you see the newspaper headlines about the Christmas Eve robbery at the German bakery? It said… STOLLEN STOLEN!!
- There are a lot of tasteless criminal acts these days. But bakery robbery really takes the cake.
- Did you hear about the robbery at the bakery? The guy ab*scone*ded after the crime.
I'll see myself out... - My bakery was recently robbed. Now, I've seen a lot of robberies before... But this takes the cake!
- What do you call a robbery at a bakery? A bread-stick-em-up!
- Did you hear about the robbery at the bakery? The thieves said 'give me all your dough.'
- Yesterday I heard there was a robbery at a bakery, I've heard of s**... crimes... But this one really takes the cake.
Bakery Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny bakery love jokes and even better bakery love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was fired from a bakery... Their packaging says their products are "made with love" and they said I was only making them with "like."
- Why do b**... Enthusiasts love going to French Bakeries? They always have le pain!
Fun-Filled Bakery Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about bakery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bread baker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bakery pranks.
My girlfriend asked me why I work at the bakery if I don't enjoy it.
I told her it's because I knead the dough.
Why didn't Jimmy want to work at the bakery?
It had a high turnover rate.
Another classic Dutch Bakerjoke
* A dog walks into a bakery
* Baker: How can I help you?
* Dog: Woof!
* Baker: Anything else?
* Dog: Bark!
* Baker: That'll be 12 Euro's. Do you want a receipt?
* Dog: No.
Just robbed a bakery
I kneaded the dough.
Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?
He didn't knead any more dough.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals...
but bakery robbers take the cake
I decided to start working at a bakery...
I knead the dough.
What did the angry Indian man say at the bakery?
I'm having naan of it.
What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead?
A Ginger Bread-House
Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it
Baker says "Avocadough"
If you know an Arab, you don't have to steal...
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery.
The Arab steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see anything."
The Jew says to the Arab, "That's typical of you dishonest Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
The Jew replies, "Look in the Arab's pocket....."
Two l**... named Rachel walk in to a bakery...
To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)
A man walks into a bakery...
So a man walks into a bakery with a fish under his arm. When he gets in there, the baker greets him and asks him how he could help the man.
"Do you sell fish cakes?", the man asks the baker.
"No, of course we don't!" the baker replies.
"But it's his birthday!"
If a redhead works in a bakery...
...does that make him a gingerbread man?
A man walks into a bakery right before closing time
And asks, "do you have any pita?"
The baker responds, "no, there's naan left."
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs.
Please, do not let Kevin Bacon die.
Source: The Bluegrass Grill and Bakery in Charlottesville, VA.
"Officer, what can you tell us about the break in at the bakery today?"
"Man I've seen all kinds of thieves in my career, but this one takes the cake"
I got a job at a bakery today
I kneaded the dough.
Online dating is like a bakery
You've got the flakes, the fruitcakes, and the tarts.
Did you hear about the prostitutes that started a bakery?
Everything is h**...-made.
Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business?
She told people to stop patronizing her.
Quickly after robbing my bakery, a man got a severe headache
Serves him right. It's not his grain, it's migraine
Pasta Diet
1.. You walk pasta bakery.
2.. You walk pasta candy store.
3.. You walk pasta Ice Cream shop.
4.. You walk pasta fridge.
I own a very profitable bakery
I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough
Went to the Indian bakery today and asked for some bread
They said they had naan
What type of bakery has the fastest service?
A Russian bakery.
Why did the German baker call the police?
Everything in his bakery was stollen
I've met a lot of bakery thieves before...
But this one takes the cake.
I just started volunteering at this place called Muhammad's Bakery.
It's a naan prophet organization.
What does a Japanese bakery thief say?
"I Tokyo cookie."
If I own a bakery in France...
am I the master of pain?
A guy starts his first day at a bakery...
The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.
"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a file drawer with a picture of a carrot on it. "And here's the zucchini dough."
"But what's this one with the picture of Kevin Spacey on it?" The new guy asks.
"Oh," the boss responds, "That's the pea dough file."
I whispered to my kids, "Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?"
They all looked at me blankly, so I replied, "I didn't think so, it's on a knead to dough basis."
What do you call a racist, southern bakery?
Cake Cake Cake
An American and Canadian walk into a bakery
The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.
I'm not really in the mood to laugh, today my friends bakery burned down...
Now his business is toast :(
I started a part-time job at the bakery
Just to make a little extra dough.
I don't really like my job at the bakery.
But it puts bread on the table.
What do you say when you walk into a German bakery?
Gluten Morgen!
Boulangerie is a french bakery. Boucherie is a french butcher shop. What's a french ice cream shop?
Benandgerie.
I was turned away when I tried to order a pie from Yoda's bakery.
"Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."
I've heard of some evil criminals before . . .
but this bakery thief really takes the cake!
A dad walks into a bakery...
...and he asks, "Hey do you have any big pieces of shortbread?"
The baker responds, "No, we don't make them any longer."
What do you call a goat that works at a bakery?
A battering ram
Inspector Javert gives up on catching Jean Valjean and opens a bakery.
But old habits die hard. The bread is on special, two for $6.01
A blind man walks into the bakery
A blind man walks into the bakery and asks for 8 poppy seed breads. While the baker gathers them for him, he asks: are you expecting any visitors? No, replies the blind man. But I'm going on vacation, and they have such lovely story's written on them!
If my kids ask me, where do babies come from, I am going to say the bakery.
Because it all starts with a c**....
What did the baker sing on the way to bakery?
Pie h**...! Pie h**...! It's off to work I go!
So my bakery restaurant burned down yesterday
My business is toast
What do you call a redhead who works at a bakery?
A ginger bread man!
I think I've created a great dad joke:
I was conceived in a bakery.
You can say I was born and bread there.
What do people in this sub and a bakery have in common?
They both rely on cake to be successful
If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.
Norway I'd make this up!
A blind man touches the salt croissants in the bakery...
\-Who wrote all this b**...!?
Did you hear about the French baker whose bakery collapsed on him?
He was in a great deal of pain.
Nobody I talked to thought it was a good idea to rob a bakery
But it was a whisk I was willing to take
It's my cake day so here is my cake joke...
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and says do you have fish cakes? The man behind the counter replies, No .
That's a pity, it's his birthday
I took the job at a bakery
because I kneaded dough..
A man walks into a bakery on March 14th
He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.
He says, man look I'm out of ideas.
Well how about some cake then, asks the man.
Are you sure, no pie?
No sir, today is my cakeday!
