The Best 62 Baker Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Baker jokes. There are some baker dunn jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these baker carpenter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Baker Jokes and Puns

What do black coffee and Ginger Baker have in common?

They're both terrible without cream.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

Is the bakery hiring?

Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.

Baker joke, Is the bakery hiring?

Another classic Dutch Bakerjoke

* A dog walks into a bakery
* Baker: How can I help you?
* Dog: Woof!
* Baker: Anything else?
* Dog: Bark!
* Baker: That'll be 12 Euro's. Do you want a receipt?
* Dog: No.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.


Raisin Bread

A baker hires a young female assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and a thong. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the assistant and then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The girl nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man, standing almost directly beneath her, gets an excellent view just as he planned. Once she comes down he says he should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner. As the girl retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see her climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man: "Is it raisin for you, too?" "No," stammers the old man: "but it's quivering a bit!"

Two magicians walk into a bakery

The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."

Baker joke, Two magicians walk into a bakery

I was going to be a baker

But I couldn't raise enough dough.

The baker at my local donut shop was bragging about how the male enhancement pills he'd started taking actually worked.

And that was fine until I noticed the holes in the donuts were a little larger than usual.

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it

Baker says "Avocadough"

You can explore baker dough reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean baker focaccia dad jokes. There are also baker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...

To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...

To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."


(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)

A man walks into a bakery...

So a man walks into a bakery with a fish under his arm. When he gets in there, the baker greets him and asks him how he could help the man.

"Do you sell fish cakes?", the man asks the baker.

"No, of course we don't!" the baker replies.

"But it's his birthday!"

I've heard a lot of good puns in my day but....

the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.

Baker joke, I've heard a lot of good puns in my day but....

My friend's bakery burned down last night

Now his business is toast

Being a baker is a great side-job...

...especially when I knead the dough.

A man walks into a bakery right before closing time

And asks, "do you have any pita?"

The baker responds, "no, there's naan left."


I was a baker when I was in the army.

When I went to war, I went in all buns glazing.

Do you know why donuts have a hole in them?

Because the baker made them with love. ^^^^^also ^^^^^why ^^^^^they're ^^^^^glazed

An Atheist...

Walks up to the Pearly Gates. God says, "I will let you in if you can make me laugh."

The Atheist asks, "who is the greatest Jewish baker of all time? Hitler. He made over 60,000 Jews toast."

God looks at him and says, "A holocaust joke? That is not really funny."

The atheist replied, "Eh, I guess you should have been there."

Two Scotsmen walk past a baker

One turns to the other and says 'Is that a cake or a meringue?'

The other replies 'no you're right, it's a cake'

What do you call a lazy baker?

A loafer...

My grandfather was a baker in the army...

...he went in all buns glazing.

How do you make a baker cry?

Kill his family

Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank?

He came in with buns glazing.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

I had pot brownies for the first time last week.

I guess the baker was out of pans.

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

What is the motto of a french baker?

no pain no gain

Never insult an Italian baker.

He'll beat the focaccia.

When do bakers stop making donuts?

When they get tired of the hole thing

"That is him." I said to my wife in the shopping centre.

"That's Kenny Baker, the actor who played R2D2 in Star Wars."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "It doesn't look like him, go on over and ask."

A couple of minutes later I walked back over to her. "Well, what did he say?"

"Nothing." I said. "It's a rubbish bin."

2 Original depressed baker jokes

Did you hear about the depressed baker who threw himself into his own oven?
Colleagues said it was a final act of self-loafing.

Did you hear about the depressed baker who went on a killing spree?
Witnesses said he came out all buns glazing.

What do you call a baker with red hair?

A gingerbread man.

What did the necromancer baker say to his dough?

"Riiiiiiiiiise!!!"

*i'll show myself out*

I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.

It was my manager's fault for telling me to put my hair in a bun.

A guy walks into a bakery

He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".

What do you call a red-haired baker?

The ginger bread man

What do you call an unknown baker?

John Dough

Did you hear about the gay French baker?

Faguette

Why are bakers so crazy for dough?

They don't want it, they knead it.

Many surnames come from the job people's ancestors used to have. For example, the Smith family were related to a smith, the Baker family were related to a baker and then there's the Dickinson family...

Who were related to people from Alabama.

Why do donuts have holes?

The baker makes them with love.

A dad walks into a bakery...

...and he asks, "Hey do you have any big pieces of shortbread?"

The baker responds, "No, we don't make them any longer."

Did you hear about the kinky baker?

He was into roll play.

Matthew McConaughey walks into a bakery...

Matthew: "Can I get three loaves of bread please?"

Baker: "What type do you want sir?"

Matthew: "All rye, all rye, all rye."

Two lady lesbians, both called Rachel, tried to buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. However, the baker refused to serve 'their kind'...

Not surprisingly, the two girls were hugely offended and asked him why he had a problem with gay nuptials.

The baker replied that he had no problems at all, however, he wasn't a supporter inter-Rachel marriage.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

Because he kneads the dough.

A Math Joke

The mathematician says, Pi r squared.

The baker replies, No, pies are round. Cakes are square.

What did the Italian baker say when a customer left her bread on the counter?

Hey, you focaccia bread!

A man walks into a bakery on March 14th

He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.

He says, man look I'm out of ideas.

Well how about some cake then, asks the man.

Are you sure, no pie?

No sir, today is my cakeday!

I've heard a lot of puns in my lifetime, some great, others horrible

But I think the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.

Happy cake day to me

Why did the baker become a theif?

Because he kneaded the dough

A Scottish man walks into a bakery and says "excuse me, is that a doughnut or a meringue?

To which the baker replies No you're right enough it's a doughnut"

Student 1: My name is Tom Archer because my ancestors were making bows and arrows.

Student 2: My name is Sam Baker because my forefathers were bakers.


Student 3: My name is John Dickinson, and I hate this game.

A Scottish man walks into a bakery.

He asks the baker "is that a cake or a meringue"

The baker replies "Nah, you're right mate"

I met this really short man called Peter the other day.

He's a baker and he was telling me all about baking flat breads.

It was fascinating.

I love to hear the pitta patter of tiny Pete.

Why did the baker bake more bread?

Because he was needing dough.

What did the baker say when he found his lost dough?

That's exactly what I kneaded!

What did the baker say when he got to know his yeast were dying?

Don't go. I knead you

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the baker cake jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working baker bake piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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