Baked Jokes

151 baked jokes and hilarious baked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh with the best "Half Baked" jokes around! From Baked Beans to Baked Potatoes, Baked Alaska to Baked Goods, we have jokes about everything from pastries to Hansel! Get ready for some Baked Bean Farts and Baked Ziti- you'll be laughing yourself silly!

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Funniest Baked Short Jokes

Short baked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baked humour may include short baking jokes also.

  1. A lot of baking instructions say 425°F But I always do 420° just to make it a little cooler.
  2. For cookery class, our homework was to bake something. I said I'd bake dog biscuits.
    No idea how to, but i have a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework.
  3. I just burned 2,000 calories in a few hours. That's the last time I take a nap while baking brownies.
  4. I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes
  5. What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people? Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked.
  6. If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man? I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..
  7. Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad, so I walked over to him and said... "I think you're supposed to open that first"
  8. A cannibal finishes baking a cake for the first time and says to himself: Hmm, I don't know, might need some fresh eyes on this .
  9. What's the difference between a baked sweet potato and a flying pig? One's a heated yam...
  10. What does Mike Tyson, after he's finished baking, have in common with Walter White? A methy kitchen.

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Baked One Liners

Which baked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baked? I can suggest the ones about easy bake and bread baker.

  1. What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
  2. You know what a baby is? It is just a fully baked cream pie
  3. What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister.
  4. My 11 y/o brother told me this What is pickle bread before its baked?
    Dill dough
  5. What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome? A baked potato.
  6. Why can't cookies dough hold a steady job? Because it's always getting baked.
  7. I just took a Baking Class The final was a piece of cake.
  8. looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online... Heinz site's a wonderful thing
  9. What type of flour do orphans use for baking? Self-raising flour.
  10. What did the twice-baked potato say upon being arrested? Foiled again!
  11. What you call a group of witches cooking simple recipe? An Easy Bake Coven!
  12. What do you call a funny baked good? a pun
  13. Why does the baker bake? Because he kneads the dough.
  14. what can u make with onions and baked beans? tear gas
  15. Why don't Jews do drugs? because last time they got baked it didn't go so well

Baked Potato Jokes

Here is a list of funny baked potato jokes and even better baked potato puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why couldn't the potato get off the couch? Because it was baked.
  • An evil baked potato hatched a devious scheme Fortunately, it was foiled.
  • Had Irish 7 coarse meal for lunch today 6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!
  • What do you call a kid with down syndrome when he's high? A baked potato.[](/changeling)
  • What's the difference between a baked potato and pea soup? Anyone can bake a potato.
  • What do you call a potato from Colorado? A baked potato
  • I have some weeds in my potato garden That's OK, I was going to make baked potatoes anyway.
  • Why was the potato so hungry? It was baked.
  • What do you get when you combine someone from Colorado and someone from Idaho? A Baked Potato
  • A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"

Baked Goods Jokes

Here is a list of funny baked goods jokes and even better baked goods puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries? Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.
  • I don't understand what's so hard about describing a single portion of a soft and sweet baked good. Honestly, it's a piece of cake.
  • Where does one go to weigh baked goods? Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie
  • What's a Brit's favorite baked good? £ cake.
  • What's a stoners favorite dessert? Baked goods
  • What do you get if you cross the king of Wakanda with a traditional Jewish baked good? T'challah bread
  • A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods. The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.
  • The International League of Bakers is inviting countries which mainly export baked goods to join. They're accepting dough nations.
  • Raw eggs are good for a fitness diet. If you don't like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
  • What do you call a holy baked good? A croissaint.
Baked joke, What do you call a holy baked good?

Baked Beans Jokes

Here is a list of funny baked beans jokes and even better baked beans puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a bunch of high Mexicans? Baked Beans
  • what do you call a high Rowan Atkinson? Baked bean.
  • What would you call a 100 year old can of baked beans? Has-beens.
  • I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts.
  • *From Ian Ross, not mine* - A mum was asked 'Why is your daughter crying?' 'She has five baked beans stuck up her nose.'
    'And why is your son crying?'
    'He wants his lunch back.'
  • What do you call a sunburnt vegan? A baked bean
  • What do you call a bunch of Mexican Stoners? Baked Beans.
  • What do you call it when a car full of Mexicans catches fire? Baked beans
  • Why weren't the baked beans heating up? They were just chilling
  • What did they call Muhammad Ali after he had baked beans? Gaseous Clay

Half Baked Jokes

Here is a list of funny half baked jokes and even better half baked puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It irks me when people say I have "half baked ideas" all my ideas happen when I'm fully baked.
  • my medium rare chicken recipe was a complete failure I guess it was a half baked idea.
  • Why should you always listen to Snoop Dogg's suggestions? His ideas are never half-baked.
  • You know, I'm really worried about future of Kickstarter with all this talk about cannabis legalization. Nobody wants to have to sift through even more half baked ideas.
  • What do you get when you stop making brownies partway through? A half-baked attempt
  • People say I'm a great cook Despite the fact that I'm always doing it half-baked.
  • What do you call a plan you get when you are sorta high? A half-baked idea!

Baked Bean Jokes

Here is a list of funny baked bean jokes and even better baked bean puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • During my school days I was living on baked beans. A house would probably have been a smarter option.
  • Where do the baked beans end up after travelling around Australia? In Cairns
  • Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans? Because if they had one more, they would be 240.
  • Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
  • You can now buy ketchup and baked beans online. It's one of the benefits of Heinz site.
  • Bush Died The Dog from Bush's Baked beans
  • Where do baked beans go for holidays? To Cairns.
  • I decided to e**... baked beans through my nose. In Heinz sight, it was a terrible decision.
  • What do you call a group of s**... Mexicans? Baked beans
  • Doctor asks a p**..., do you know who the father is? p**... replies. Oh for goodness sakes If you ate a can of baked beans would you know which one made you f**...?
Baked joke, Doctor asks a p**...,

Cheerful Baked Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about baked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baking love jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baked pranks.

What do you call bread baked by a poet?


Two muffins are in an oven..

One says to the other one "Dude, I am so baked."

What do you call a s**... pig?

Baked Ham

An old man is lying on his death bed...

... when he smells the delicious aroma of freshly baked apple pie. He calls over his grandson and whispers, "Boy, go ask your grandma for a slice of that pie."
The boy scampers off and returns a minute later, replying, "Grandma says no, it's for after the f**...."

A CEO, a union worker and a tea party member sit down at a table ...

The union worker sets out a dozen cookies he baked.
The CEO grabs them all and tells the tea partier that the union member stole his cookie.

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked w**...?

He got baked.

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

Why can't you make a movie with with Jewish people smoking w**...?

You can't show a group of Jews getting baked

I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice....

but he's having Nunavut.

What do you call a s**... Irishman?

A baked potato.

To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".

They were a little on the Chewy side.

A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.

And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."

Irony: I baked a Death By Chocolate Cake...

and gave it to my dog to celebrate his birthday.

What do a cheezit and a hungry white s**... have in common?

Both are baked snack crackers.

What do you get when all 50 states legalize m**...?

Baked Alaska.

I hear jews don't use w**...

I guess they don't like getting baked.

I gave some autistic kids w**......

And now I have baked potatoes.

Why was the cookie afraid of getting drug tested?

Because it was so baked

What's the difference between a s**... and a Jew?

The s**... doesn't scream when it's baked.

I remember when, for weeks at a time, Mom would wake us every morning with the smell of freshly baked cookies

at 3AM. And in retrospect, those cookies smelled a lot like m**....

My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes

Grandma did always have a soft spot for h**...-made products.

Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie?

One's s**... and one's baked.

What do you call a spud that smokes w**...?

A baked potato

I thought I was in heaven when I happened upon a shack in the middle of the desert. It had a sign that read, 'Cannabis Hut, get baked for free!'

Apparently, cannibals can't spell very well.

An American and Canadian walk into a bakery

The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.

If you snort coke, you get high. If you snort flour... get baked.
...frighteningly, my 5th grader came up with this while we were having a discussion about drugs and what he might end up seeing in Middle School next year.

What do you call a potato smokin' a joint?


I seek to promote the welfare of a certain baked dish.

I'm a flanthropist.

Special needs bus crashes into local p**... shop and catches fire.

Baked potatoes all over the place.

Why did the frozen pizza say no to w**...?

It didn't want to get baked!
Just made that up moments ago

Did you hear about the French guy that got baked into a huge baguette?

He was in a lot of pain

Insecure people are like chocolate chip cookies

After they get baked, they'll crumble easily.

I baked some synonym buns this morning

Just like grammar used to make.

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

Here's a joke from the 80s

Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."
The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"
Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."

Understanding Women

Author Unknown

What food does an environmentalist hate?

Baked Alaska

What do you call a s**... Irish person?

A baked potato.

Two cannibals meet one day.

The first cannibal says, You know, I just can't seem to get a tender m**.... I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender.
The second cannibal asks, What kind of m**... do you use?
The first replies, You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.
Ah, ha! the second cannibal replies, No wonder… those are friars!

A German man on his first trip to America decides to see New York City.

As he's wandering around the smell of corned beef and fresh baked rye bread draws him into a Kosher deli. The man sits at the counter, eyes the menu and says, "I vood like to try ze bagel and ze lox." In a thick accent.
On his first bite he's throughly enjoying his food and pipes up to the guy behind the counter, "Zis is voonderbar! Zey do not have food like zis vere I am from."
In a heavy Brooklyn accent the guy behind the counter replies, "Now whose fault is that?"

Putin and Medvedev go to a high class restaurant.

Putin says to the waiter "For the meat I want a rib-eye steak, medium rare. The potatos are to be baked with sour cream".
The waiter asks "what about the vegetable?"
Putin looks at Medvedev and back to the waiter and says, "He'll have the same"

A cannibal was walking through the jungle

and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry,he sat down and looked over the menu.
*Grilled Tourist: $5.00
*Broiled m**...: $10.00
*Fried Explorer: $15.00
*Baked Politician: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and
asked, "Why such a high price for
politicians?" The cook replied, "Have you
ever tried to clean one? They are so full of
s**... that it takes all day!"

A cannibal attends a restaurant ran by another cannibal

Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and browsed the menu:
\*Grilled Tourist $5.00
\*Broiled m**... $10.00
\*Fried Explorer $15.00
\*Diced Marine $20.00
\*Baked Politician $1000.00
The cannibal called a waiter over and asked, "Why such a high price for politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of s**... that it takes all day!"


Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.

The Bidens went out to a restaurant.

The waiter serving them asked Jill Biden for her order first.
"To start, I'll have the french onion soup. Then the prime rib, medium-rare, with a baked potato, with butter and sour cream."
"Excellent, Doctor. What about the vegetable?"
"Oh, he'll have the same thing."
(Yes, it's an oldie...)

Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns.

I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar used to make?

Baked joke, Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns.

jokes about baked