The Best 73 Baked Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Baked jokes. There are some baked keebler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these baked muffins puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Baked Jokes and Puns

My 11 y/o brother told me this

What is pickle bread before its baked?

Dill dough

what can u make with onions and baked beans?

tear gas

Two muffins are in an oven..

One says to the other one "Dude, I am so baked."

^^^^^Ishouldfeelreallyfuckingbad

Baked joke, Two muffins are in an oven..

What do you call a bunch of high Mexicans?

Baked Beans

What do you call a stoned pig?

Baked Ham


An old man is lying on his death bed...

... when he smells the delicious aroma of freshly baked apple pie. He calls over his grandson and whispers, "Boy, go ask your grandma for a slice of that pie."

The boy scampers off and returns a minute later, replying, "Grandma says no, it's for after the funeral."

A CEO, a union worker and a tea party member sit down at a table ...

The union worker sets out a dozen cookies he baked.
The CEO grabs them all and tells the tea partier that the union member stole his cookie.

Baked joke, A CEO, a union worker and a tea party member sit down at a table ...

What happened to Mr. Potato Head when he smoked weed?

He got baked.

What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people?

Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked.

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online...

Heinz site's a wonderful thing

You can explore baked bakin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean baked oven dad jokes. There are also baked puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar...

The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"

Why can't you make a movie with with Jewish people smoking weed?

You can't show a group of Jews getting baked

I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans.

I'll call it Farts & Crafts.

An evil baked potato hatched a devious scheme

Fortunately, it was foiled.

What do you call a funny baked good?

a pun

Baked joke, What do you call a funny baked good?

I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice....

but he's having Nunavut.

What do you call a stoned Irishman?

A baked potato.

What would you call a 100 year old can of baked beans?

Has-beens.


To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".

They were a little on the Chewy side.

If a guy with Red Hair works at a Bakery, does that make him a GingerBread Man?

I ask this because I'm baked at the moment..

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome?

A baked potato.

A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.

And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."

what do you call a high Rowan Atkinson?

Baked bean.

Irony: I baked a Death By Chocolate Cake...

and gave it to my dog to celebrate his birthday.

Had Irish 7 coarse meal for lunch today

6 pack and a baked potato. Was delicious!

What's baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

What do you call a potato from Colorado?

A baked potato

What's a Brit's favorite baked good?

Β£ cake.

What do you get when you combine someone from Colorado and someone from Idaho?

A Baked Potato

What do a cheezit and a hungry white stoner have in common?

Both are baked snack crackers.

What do you get when all 50 states legalize marijuana?

Baked Alaska.

I hear jews don't use weed

I guess they don't like getting baked.

Why don't Jews do drugs?

because last time they got baked it didn't go so well

Why was the cookie afraid of getting drug tested?

Because it was so baked

What's the difference between a stoner and a Jew?

The stoner doesn't scream when it's baked.

I remember when, for weeks at a time, Mom would wake us every morning with the smell of freshly baked cookies

at 3AM. And in retrospect, those cookies smelled a lot like meth.

Why can't cookies dough hold a steady job?

Because it's always getting baked.

My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes

Grandma did always have a soft spot for ho-made products.

Whats the difference between a Muslim hippie and a Jewish hippie?

One's stoned and one's baked.

What do you call a spud that smokes weed?

A baked potato

What do you call a group of stoned Mexicans?

Baked beans

What's a stoners favorite dessert?

Baked goods

I thought I was in heaven when I happened upon a shack in the middle of the desert. It had a sign that read, 'Cannabis Hut, get baked for free!'

Apparently, cannibals can't spell very well.

An American and Canadian walk into a bakery

The American ordered some Baked Alaska. The Canadian, however, was having Nunavut.

If you snort coke, you get high. If you snort flour...

..you get baked.

...frighteningly, my 5th grader came up with this while we were having a discussion about drugs and what he might end up seeing in Middle School next year.

What do you call a potato smokin' a joint?

Baked!

I seek to promote the welfare of a certain baked dish.

I'm a flanthropist.

What do you call a kid with down syndrome when he's high?

A baked potato.[](/changeling)

Special needs bus crashes into local pot shop and catches fire.

Baked potatoes all over the place.

Why did the frozen pizza say no to weed?

It didn't want to get baked!

Just made that up moments ago

It irks me when people say I have "half baked ideas"

all my ideas happen when I'm fully baked.

Did you hear about the French guy that got baked into a huge baguette?

He was in a lot of pain

A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.

The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.

I baked some synonym buns this morning

Just like grammar used to make.

I don't understand what's so hard about describing a single portion of a soft and sweet baked good.

Honestly, it's a piece of cake.

Why was the potato so hungry?

It was baked.

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

Here's a joke from the 80s

Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."

The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"

Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."

What's the difference between a baked sweet potato and a flying pig?

One's a heated yam...

Understanding Women

A FATHER SAYS TO HIS SON :
"MY BOY, WHEN YOU ACCUMULATE THE UNDERSTANDING OF WHY A PIZZA IS BAKED ROUND,
PUT IN A SQUARE BOX , EATEN IN TRIANGLES, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN. "
Author Unknown

I have some weeds in my potato garden

That's OK, I was going to make baked potatoes anyway.

What food does an environmentalist hate?

Baked Alaska

I decided to eat my baked beans through my nose.

In Heinz sight, it was a terrible decision.

Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad, so I walked over to him and said...

"I think you're supposed to open that first"

What do you call a stoned Irish person?

A baked potato.

*From Ian Ross, not mine* - A mum was asked 'Why is your daughter crying?'

'She has five baked beans stuck up her nose.'

'And why is your son crying?'

'He wants his lunch back.'

Two cannibals meet one day.

The first cannibal says, You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. Just can't seem to get them tender.

The second cannibal asks, What kind of missionary do you use?

The first replies, You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around their waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.

Ah, ha! the second cannibal replies, No wonder… those are friars!

A German man on his first trip to America decides to see New York City.

As he's wandering around the smell of corned beef and fresh baked rye bread draws him into a Kosher deli. The man sits at the counter, eyes the menu and says, "I vood like to try ze bagel and ze lox." In a thick accent.

On his first bite he's throughly enjoying his food and pipes up to the guy behind the counter, "Zis is voonderbar! Zey do not have food like zis vere I am from."

In a heavy Brooklyn accent the guy behind the counter replies, "Now whose fault is that?"

A man goes to buy a clock.

He's browsing in the clock shop. Suddenly he hears a little voice "Get digital you probably can't read analogue."
Startled, he looks around. Nobody is there.

A few minutes later, he hears another little voice "Your shoes belong in a museum!"
He spins around. Noone there.

As he walks on, he hears another little voice "Your face looks like a baked potato."
He looks around but nobody is near him.

He storms over to the store manager.
"What's going on, who keeps insulting me?"

The manager apologises
"I'm sorry. It's the wind- up watches."

You know what a baby is?

It is just a fully baked cream pie

Putin and Medvedev go to a high class restaurant.

Putin says to the waiter "For the meat I want a rib-eye steak, medium rare. The potatos are to be baked with sour cream".

The waiter asks "what about the vegetable?"

Putin looks at Medvedev and back to the waiter and says, "He'll have the same"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the baked inbread jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working baked pastries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes