Baked Goods Jokes
39 baked goods jokes and hilarious baked goods puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baked goods that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Baked Goods Short Jokes
Short baked goods jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baked goods humour may include short bakery jokes also.
- Why was the ninja so good at baking pastries? Because he had a black belt in martial tarts.
- I don't understand what's so hard about describing a single portion of a soft and sweet baked good. Honestly, it's a piece of cake.
- What do you get if you cross the king of Wakanda with a traditional Jewish baked good? T'challah bread
- A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods. The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.
- The International League of Bakers is inviting countries which mainly export baked goods to join. They're accepting dough nations.
- Raw eggs are good for a fitness diet. If you don't like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
- How do you know the cookies you left to bake inside your hot car are good ? The baby stopped screaming.
- My wife is really good when it comes to bread baking competitions She's the real bread winner in our household
- Did you know the reason that you can eat the body of Christ is because he's a baked good? Specifically, he's a crossed saint.
- I'm not very good with baking... ...so if I want a cake I have to get a piece of paper and a pencil so I can trace leches.
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Baked Goods One Liners
Which baked goods one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baked goods? I can suggest the ones about baking and christmas cookies.
- What do you call a funny baked good? a pun
- What's a Brit's favorite baked good? £ cake.
- What's a stoners favorite dessert? Baked goods
- What do you call a holy baked good? A croissaint.
- Do you think Apple will ever branch out into baked goods? Because... iDonut.
- Why do baked goods always have an urge for s**...? Because they're in heat.
- What p**... goes good on a baked potato? SIG Sauer cream.
- Why do n**... bake such terrible cakes? All of their good ovens are already being used.
Hilarious Baked Goods Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about baked goods you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bread baker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baked goods pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a good thing h**... didn't kill more black people.
Because I'd feel awful every time I said I wanted to bake brownies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
l**... the beaters.
I remember my mom baking cakes when I was a kid. She used an electric mixer. If I had been good, when she was done mixing she would let me lick the beaters. If I had been really good she would turn it off first.
A muffin and dough and are having a conversation.
And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."
I recently started working for a charity that convinces local supermarkets to give us their expiring baked goods to donate to refugees and the local homeless. We're working in conjunction with local churches to help distribute donations. All of us are there voluntarily, after all..
It's a naan-prophet organization.
LPT: If someone brings in home baked goods to say goodbye after being let go, don't eat them.
I used laxatives.
a man dies and goes to heaven.
he arrives at the gate of heaven and sees 60 people baking stuff. some whisking eggs and some mixing batter. he is confused so before he goes in he asked the gatekeeper; why are those people cooking instead of enjoying heaven? the gatekeeper replies; well they have bad karma from their time on earth the man says; what does cooking have to do anything? the gatekeeper says; well those people are baking cakes, and everyone knows that the best way to get good karma is with cake
A blonde is out grocery shopping,
but she's having trouble finding the Toasties. So she asks one of the stockers, to which he replies "I'll see" and walks off. After ten minutes passes without the stocker returning, she finds another stocker where she can find the Toasties, to which he replies "I'll see" and then walks off. After ten minutes, she's fuming at the poor service, so she finds another stocker. This time she demands he take her over to where the Toasties are shelved. So he leads her past the baking goods in Aisle A, the condiments in Aisle B, to the Toasties in Aisle C.
Superbowl Commercial Concept
*Queue dark, stormy night*
"There comes a time when we must all step up for equality"
*Flash of civil rights marches, gay pride parades and protests in the middle east*
"A time when we cannot accept bigotry and hatred"
*Rain pours on multi-ethnic protesters linked arm in arm*
"A time to proclaim that an era of love and understanding is here"
*People celebrating good news outside the Supreme Court*
"Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, the choice of a new tomorrow"
These Seniors Couldn't Get The $2.99 Special Without Eggs, So They Did Something Genius
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'Senior Special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said, "but I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay more for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.
"Yes," said the waitress.
"I'll take the special, then," my wife said.
"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
Don't mess with Seniors!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The mailman's last day
A mailman was putting in his last shift before he started an office job. He was a popular man in the neighborhood, known for being courteous and prompt with his deliveries. As such, he was lavished with home-baked goods, bottles of wine and gift cards as he made his final rounds.
The mailman's final stop of the day was at the house of a wealthy lawyer, who had always treated the mailman like garbage. When he rang the doorbell, however, it was the lawyer's gorgeous wife, dressed in a revealing negligee, who answered the door. Wordlessly, she led him to the upstairs bedroom where they had the most amazing s**... the mailman had ever had in his life.
As he was about to leave, the lawyer's wife handed him a crumpled one dollar bill. "What was that all about?" he asked.
"Well, last night when I asked my husband what we should do for you, he said 'fuck him, give him a dollar.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny's Father
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."
The first student raised her hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a b**.... B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."
Discrimination?
A First-grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"
Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."
The teacher says, "That's great. Tell you what, go to the blackboard, and if you can write the word 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
She does and gets a cookie.
The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.
Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."
The teacher says, "Good. If you can write the word 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."
Morris does, and gets a cookie.
Teacher then asks Leroy what he did at recess.
He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."
The teacher says, "They threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination.
Tell you what, if you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."
The first student raised her hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher.
The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a b**.... B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."