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Baked Beans Jokes

43 baked beans jokes and hilarious baked beans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baked beans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Baked Beans Short Jokes

Short baked beans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baked beans humour may include short chili beans jokes also.

  1. Saw a homeless man eating a tin of baked beans and I thought it was really sad, so I walked over to him and said... "I think you're supposed to open that first"
  2. I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts.
  3. *From Ian Ross, not mine* - A mum was asked 'Why is your daughter crying?' 'She has five baked beans stuck up her nose.'
    'And why is your son crying?'
    'He wants his lunch back.'
  4. During my school days I was living on baked beans. A house would probably have been a smarter option.
  5. Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans? Because if they had one more, they would be 240.
  6. I decided to e**... baked beans through my nose. In Heinz sight, it was a terrible decision.
  7. What do you call a group of s**... Mexicans? Baked beans
  8. Doctor asks a p**..., do you know who the father is? p**... replies. Oh for goodness sakes If you ate a can of baked beans would you know which one made you f**...?
  9. Q: What do you call s**... Mexicans?
    A: Baked beans.
  10. Q: What do you call s**... Mexicans?
    A: Baked beans.

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Baked Beans One Liners

Which baked beans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baked beans? I can suggest the ones about baked and green beans.

  1. looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online... Heinz site's a wonderful thing
  2. what can u make with onions and baked beans? tear gas
  3. What do you call a bunch of high Mexicans? Baked Beans
  4. what do you call a high Rowan Atkinson? Baked bean.
  5. What would you call a 100 year old can of baked beans? Has-beens.
  6. What do you call a sunburnt vegan? A baked bean
  7. What do you call a bunch of Mexican Stoners? Baked Beans.
  8. What do you call it when a car full of Mexicans catches fire? Baked beans
  9. Why weren't the baked beans heating up? They were just chilling
  10. What did they call Muhammad Ali after he had baked beans? Gaseous Clay
  11. Where do the baked beans end up after travelling around Australia? In Cairns
  12. Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
  13. You can now buy ketchup and baked beans online. It's one of the benefits of Heinz site.
  14. Bush Died The Dog from Bush's Baked beans
  15. Where do baked beans go for holidays? To Cairns.

Baked Beans Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about baked beans you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baked potato jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baked beans pranks.

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

What was the name of the m**... cook who got caught stealing baked beans?

Heinzenburg

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant.
The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?”
The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you f**...?”

Q: What do you call s**... Mexicans?
A: Baked beans.

Two woman riding in an elevator in a very lavish and posh building..,,

when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, Romance by Ralph Lauren, at $180.Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, Chanel No. 5, at $220. When they got to the third floor, the old woman had reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator.Before she leaves, she looks at both beautiful women in the eye,Farts, and then says… Heinz Baked beans … $1.50