Bake Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bake jokes. Read bake focaccia jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) that will make you laugh out loud.

Enjoy this list of puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bake baked puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Happy Bake Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What temperature do you bake two pies?

360 degrees

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

What does a s**... with Parkinson's disease do in the morning?

Shake and bake.

Is the bakery hiring?

Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.

jokes about bake

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I was going to be a baker

But I couldn't raise enough dough.

Bake joke, I was going to be a baker

I think my wife is going to bake me some pickle bread!

She just got home with a big box and said she would surprise me tonight with her new dill dough.

The baker at my local donut shop was bragging about how the male enhancement pills he'd started taking actually worked.

And that was fine until I noticed the holes in the donuts were a little larger than usual.

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

"Oh baby got what I knead!"

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

You can explore bake knead reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bake cake dad jokes. There are also bake puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Two l**... named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...

To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Two l**... named Rachel walk in to a bakery...

To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."

(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies? to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

Bake joke, How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

My friend's bakery burned down last night

Now his business is toast

I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice....

but he's having Nunavut.

I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale

I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

Being a baker is a great side-job...

...especially when I knead the dough.

I was a baker when I was in the army.

When I went to war, I went in all buns glazing.

What is the female equivalent of a sausage fest?

A clam bake

What did German kids get for Christmas during th holocaust?

Easy Bake Ovens

What's baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business?

She told people to stop patronizing her.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

Bake joke, Why do bakers go into business?

My work had a bake sale today

We raised a lot of dough.

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

When do bakers stop making donuts?

When they get tired of the hole thing

My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes

Grandma did always have a soft spot for h**...-made products.

Where do bakers pick up their h**...?

The breadlight district

Do you know why Indian bakeries are open 24/7?

Because they bake naan stop.

If I own a bakery in France...

am I the master of pain?

Why are bakers so crazy for dough?

They don't want it, they knead it.

Why do bakeries in Denmark add so much sugar to their pastries?

If they didn't, they would be sweetish.

The brownies I started making in my easy bake oven in 1987

are done if anyone wants some.

Why did it take Mr. Cat so long to bake his cookies?

He made everything from scratch.

A baker bakes 73,247 baguettes in a year and sells each for $2.73. What does he make?


I baked some synonym buns this morning

Just like grammar used to make.

I brought some cookie dough into work today... I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

My boss said I was "insensitive" and "fired from the crematorium".

It's a good thing h**... didn't kill more black people.

Because I'd feel awful every time I said I wanted to bake brownies.

So my bakery restaurant burned down yesterday

My business is toast

Why did the baker rob the bank?

Because he kneads the dough.

Why did the baker quit making doughnuts?

He was fed up with the hole business!

What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a d**...-shaped cake?

v**... display of flour.

Some only dream of cake

Others bake it happen.

Once, me and my family wanted to bake some marshmallows in the campfire.

We had the poles with marshmallows sticked to them prepared when we heard sirens. We all ran out to see what happened. The neighbours' house was on fire and I saw a lot of firefighters trying to get the fire under control. The neighbours looked at us with pure disgust. That was the moment I realized we were still holding the sticks with marshmallows.

Why did the baker become a theif?

Because he kneaded the dough

For cookery class, our homework was to bake something.

I said I'd bake dog biscuits.

No idea how to, but i have a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework.

What did the baker say when he found his lost dough?

That's exactly what I kneaded!

Why did the baker take a 24 hour break from baking bread?

It was his cake day!

The Baker

I know a guy who's a baker in the army. He goes into battle all buns glazing.

Sorry sorry. Bad one.

What does a baker says after cracking a wordplay joke?

Bun intended

Wondering how to pass time until your own cake day joke?

Just bake it till you make it!

Okay, I stole that pun, but I really couldn't have done it batter myself.

That batter pun was terrible, I'll beat it now.

Sorry, I know I'm on thin icing here, but this left me in tiers.

Anyway, I've got a lot on my plate today, I'm going to piece out.

What you call a group of witches cooking simple recipes?

An Easy Bake Coven!

Why couldn't the baker buy a car?

Because he didn't make enough dough

What did the baker say to the browser in his store?

Do you accept cookies?

Two bakers were trying to have a talk about leavened Indian breads...

The topic was a naan-starter.

What's the difference between a baked potato and pea soup?

Anyone can bake a potato.

For my Cake day I would like to share my biologist wife's favorite joke.

Two girls are giving relationship advice to their friend.

The confectioner says:

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." And offers to help the girl bake a cake.

The doctor says:

"That is actually false, the quickest way to a man's heart is through the fourth and fifth ribs."

What did they call the first person to bake a pie?

A pie-oneer.

Wife asks her husband to fix the fridge. He replies "What am I, a repairman?" So she got their neighbor to fix it. She tells her husb "It's fixed. Our neighbor said he would fix it if I either slept with him or baked him a pie."

Husband laughs and asks "So what kind of pie did you bake him?"

Wife replies "What am I, a baker?"

How does a s**... bake his Christmas ham?

420°, glaze it.

Why does the baker rarely get into arguments?

He's a loafer, not a fighter.

Why was the baker so good with their finances?

They had a lot of practice working with dough.

Why was the baker so miserable?

He lost the custardy battle.

A baker recently joined MI5…

… he was given confidential information on a knead the dough basis

I've been trying to get my moisture content just right when I bake a German cake.

I've been aiming for a seven out of ten but it keeps coming out drei.

How does a baker in Alabama describe his occupation?

I'm in bread.

What did the baker say when he messed up his recipe?


Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the bake loaf puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working bake cook piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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