The Best 65 Bake Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bake jokes. There are some bake focaccia jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bake baked puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bake Jokes and Puns

What temperature do you bake two pies?

360 degrees

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

What does a stoner with Parkinson's disease do in the morning?

Shake and bake.

Bake joke, What does a stoner with Parkinson's disease do in the morning?

Is the bakery hiring?

Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.


Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I was going to be a baker

But I couldn't raise enough dough.

Bake joke, I was going to be a baker

I think my wife is going to bake me some pickle bread!

She just got home with a big box and said she would surprise me tonight with her new dill dough.

The baker at my local donut shop was bragging about how the male enhancement pills he'd started taking actually worked.

And that was fine until I noticed the holes in the donuts were a little larger than usual.

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

"Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

You can explore bake knead reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bake cake dad jokes. There are also bake puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...

To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...

To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."


(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class?

Go ahead, bake my clay.

*walks away slowly*

Bake joke, What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class?

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

Why a baker?

Why did the baker become a baker?

He just couldn't cut it as a butcher.

My friend's bakery burned down last night

Now his business is toast


I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice....

but he's having Nunavut.

I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale

I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

Being a baker is a great side-job...

...especially when I knead the dough.

I was a baker when I was in the army.

When I went to war, I went in all buns glazing.

What is the female equivalent of a sausage fest?

A clam bake

I'm starting a therapeutic cooking class for Parkinson's Disease patients.

It's called "Shake & Bake".

What's baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Why did the feminist's bakery go out of business?

She told people to stop patronizing her.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

My work had a bake sale today

We raised a lot of dough.

What do you get if you bake weed into apple pastry?

A high turnover.

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love.

They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled, refuses to bake them a wedding cake. They are very upset and accuse the baker of narrow-mindedness and bigotry. "Oh, no, no, no," the baker responds, "I don't have a problem with gay marriage, I just can't support an inter-Rachel marriage!"

Happy Valentine's, everyone!

When do bakers stop making donuts?

When they get tired of the hole thing

How do you bake toilet paper?

Well, I don't know either, I just know how to brown it on one side.

My Grandmother was excited to hear that some cookies at the bake sale were baked by genuine prostitutes

Grandma did always have a soft spot for ho-made products.

What do you call a bunch of witches getting together to smoke weed?

Easy Bake coven

How many blondes do you need to bake a chocolat cake?

Three. One for the dough and two are peeling the M&Ms

Where do bakers pick up their hookers?

The breadlight district

Do you know why Indian bakeries are open 24/7?

Because they bake naan stop.

I want to be a baker

My great grandfather was a baker, my grandfather was a baker and my dad was a baker.

I was bread for this.

If I own a bakery in France...

am I the master of pain?

What did Hitler get on his 6th birthday?

G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake oven.

Why are bakers so crazy for dough?

They don't want it, they knead it.

Why do bakeries in Denmark add so much sugar to their pastries?

If they didn't, they would be sweetish.

The brownies I started making in my easy bake oven in 1987

are done if anyone wants some.

Why did it take Mr. Cat so long to bake his cookies?

He made everything from scratch.

A baker bakes 73,247 baguettes in a year and sells each for $2.73. What does he make?

Bread.

I baked some synonym buns this morning

Just like grammar used to make.

I brought some cookie dough into work today...

...so I could use the oven there to bake some cookies for all the staff, but everyone gave me dirty looks when I put them in and turned the oven on.

My boss said I was "insensitive" and "fired from the crematorium".

It's a good thing Hitler didn't kill more black people.

Because I'd feel awful every time I said I wanted to bake brownies.

What did the baker sing on the way to bakery?

Pie ho! Pie ho! It's off to work I go!

So my bakery restaurant burned down yesterday

My business is toast

Why did the baker rob the bank?

Because he kneads the dough.

Why did the baker quit making doughnuts?

He was fed up with the hole business!

If a take and bake pizza can go wrong, it will.

Papa Murphy's law.

What does a bandmember of Pantera call it when they bake a dick-shaped cake?

Vulgar display of flour.

Some only dream of cake

Others bake it happen.

Why do Bakers need a separate toilet?

For when they knead a poo

Once, me and my family wanted to bake some marshmallows in the campfire.

We had the poles with marshmallows sticked to them prepared when we heard sirens. We all ran out to see what happened. The neighbours' house was on fire and I saw a lot of firefighters trying to get the fire under control. The neighbours looked at us with pure disgust. That was the moment I realized we were still holding the sticks with marshmallows.

Why did the baker become a theif?

Because he kneaded the dough

Why did the baker bake more bread?

Because he was needing dough.

For cookery class, our homework was to bake something.

I said I'd bake dog biscuits.

No idea how to, but i have a great excuse when i don't hand in my homework.

What did the baker say when he found his lost dough?

That's exactly what I kneaded!

What did the baker say when he got to know his yeast were dying?

Don't go. I knead you

Why did the baker take a 24 hour break from baking bread?

It was his cake day!

The Baker

I know a guy who's a baker in the army. He goes into battle all buns glazing.


Sorry sorry. Bad one.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bake loaf jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bake cook piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes