Fun-Filled Bailiff Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
A politician goes on trial
Before he goes to the stand, his lawyer tells him, "remember, if you get asked a question you don't know how to answer, plead the fifth."
The bailiff asks "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
The politician pauses for a moment and says "Uh, I plead the fifth."
The judge says to the bailiff, "Bailiff, what is this man charged with?"
Judge: *Bailiff, what is this man charged with?*
Bailiff: *Your honor, this is man is charged with BIGOTRY! He had THREE wives!*
Judge (shouting): *BAILIFF! Havin' three wives is not BIGOTRY! It's* ***TRIGONOMETRY!***
Why would Matthew McConaughey be a great bailiff?
"All rise, all rise, all rise!"
It would be great if Mathew McConaughey was a bailiff
That way when the judge walks in he could say
All rise All rise All rise
The bailiffs
came to evict i**... occupants of the house, but it was not possible, as in fact they were ten ants.
What does the Japanese bailiff say in the courtroom?
ALL RICE
A bailiff works at a bakery and is asked what kind of bread they have.
"All ryes."
BAILIFF: do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the... ME: no
JUDGE: [flipping through law handbook] what do we do if he says no?
A courtroom is full of n**... men. The bailiff says "All rise, court is now in session!"
They did, but no one was standing.
What did the bailiff say at bread court?
All rise!
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