The Best 42 Bail Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bail jokes. There are some bail parole jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bail custody puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bail Jokes and Puns

What did the bailiff say at bread court?

All rise!

What's it called when Batman ditches church?

Christian bail.

Dustin Diamond aka 'Screech' arrested for bar stabbing...

Will he be, '"Saved by the Bail"?

Bail joke, Dustin Diamond aka 'Screech' arrested for bar stabbing...

My catholic friend was arrested for drunk driving in batman costume....they gave this

**Christian, Bail**

Why did the Germans bail the Greeks out?

Because they took Pita on them


Pilot held without bail.

Judge concerned about the risk of flight.

How do you get a horse out of jail?

Hay bail.

Bail joke, How do you get a horse out of jail?

Why did Bobby Drake bail on his wedding?

He had cold feet.

What do you call a spy's law firm?

James' Bail Bonds.

Officer: You drinking?

Me: I don't know are you buying?

He laughed, I laughed... I need bail money

Editorial: Yes I copied this from a comment... Shhhh

Police officer: are you drunk

Me: depends. Are you buying?
Now my car is confiscated and I need bail money

You can explore bail detention reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bail bale dad jokes. There are also bail puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I held the door for a feminist

now who wants to bail me out

How did the priest get out of Jail?

Christian Bail

If I had a nickel for every watermelon I've chucked at my neighbors window.

I still wouldn't have enough bail money for a vandalism lawsuit.

BAILIFF: do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the... ME: no

JUDGE: [flipping through law handbook] what do we do if he says no?

So I got pulled over the other day...

The Officer asked, "Are you drinking?"

I said, "You buying?"

We just laughed and laughed and laughed...

I need bail money.

Bail joke, So I got pulled over the other day...

The police were tracking down a serial killer.

The police were tracking down a serial killer who would dismember his victims and sell their body parts. He was caught after trying to sell three feet at a yard sale. The bail cost him an arm and a leg.

Translated Chinese joke

Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!

Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off

Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out

Bad news: The parachute failed midair

Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him

Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with sh!t

Good news: He didn't land on the sh!t

Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either

An accused criminal is brought before a judge...

The judge says, "You stand accused of stealing five million dollars' worth of gold bars. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty, your honour."

"Bail is set at five million dollars." The judge slams his gavel down.

"Do you accept payment in gold?"


I waved at a feminist yesterday ...

Does anyone have bail money?

A request for Fish Jokes

My girlfriend really likes and jokes and fish. But when looking for fish jokes on the web i did not find anything except:

"What did the magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod"

"Why don't fish play basketball? because they are afraid of nets"

"What did the fish say when he posted bail? I'm off the hook!"

Does anyone have any good fish jokes to share?

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early?

Christian Bail

The other day a Cop pulled me over...

After asking for my documentation he said, "your eyes seem a bit red, have you been doing drugs?" To which I replied, "well now sir your eyes seem a bit glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
We both laughed and laughed some more!
I need bail money!

A bailiff works at a bakery and is asked what kind of bread they have.

"All ryes."

What do you get when batman stops going to church?

Christian Bail.

How did Batman get out of religious jail?

He had to pay Christian Bail

The officer said You're staggering.

I said You're quite handsome yourself.
We both laughed and laughed.
I need bail money.

The name is bond

Bail bond

What do you call it when someone cancels plans with you to go to church instead?

A Christian bail.

If your taco gets arrested what do you need to bring to the jail?

Taco bail.

How do you get out of a Mexican jail?

Taco Bail

Christopher Nolan was directing a scene when the chopper Batman was flying suddenly burst into flames.

Nolan yelled, "CHRISTIAN, BAIL!!"

Why did the skier bail out on his wedding?

He had cold feet.

what did the black guy get this Christmas?

BAIL!!







jk kidding he got a record deal

Christopher Nolan's film about the war on the Drugs to release in July 2020.

To star Michael Cocaine and Christian Bail

R. Kelly has been denied bail

The judge believed he was a flight risk.

The bailiffs

came to evict illegal occupants of the house, but it was not possible, as in fact they were ten ants.

I was pulled over by a police officer for drink driving.

He said walk down the path in a straight line, 3 yards into the walk, the officer said, "You're staggering" I said, "you're quite handsome yourself" We just laughed and laughed. Now I need bail money.

If being sexy was a crime

I'd probably make bail

So I got pulled over...

I was driving home from the bar and of course Sirens were wailing and showing red and blue.

I pulled over and the officer showed up to my window and shined a light in my eyes.

Sir you have been swerving and your eyes are red have you been drinking

Well, your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts?!

We laughed and laughed!!!



Yeah, I need bail money........

Why did the judge deny the ghost bail?

Too much of a fright risk.

My encounter with the cop

So I was driving down the road when a cop stopped me, looked at me and asked "You drinking?"
I said "You buying?"








Guys I need bail money

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bail spousal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bail rufio piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes