Baguette Jokes

Following is our collection of frenchman humor and french one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Baguette puns for adults, dirty loaf jokes or clean croissant gags for kids.

There is an abundance of loaves jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 49 funniest jokes on baguette. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sourdough witze you can hear about baguette.

The Best jokes about Baguette

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage

Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage

I guess you could say it was bread in captivity

A guy walks into a bakery

He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

How do they package bread at the bakery?

They baguette.

A german, a french and a turkish man on a plane

The plane is about to crash unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.

The french man throws a baguette out of the window.

The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.

The german throws the turkish man out of the window.

Did you hear about the French guy that got baked into a huge baguette?

He was in a lot of pain

How does a baguette fight end?

With a lot of pain.

What's the Indian way of saying 'Bread of Heaven'?

Is it:

A) Holy Loaf

B) Sacred Baguette

Or C) Naan of the above

I was once attacked by a Frenchman with a baguette

That memory is still inbreaded within me.

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat...

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat. The boat is sinking.

The Frenchman throws a baguette off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."

The American throws a computer off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."

The Canadian immediately throws the Frenchman off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."

Went to the zoo to find a baguette caged

They said it was bread for captivity

Why was the dog shaped like a baguette?

Because it was bread that way.

I was trying to eat a stale baguette

Safe to say, it was a pain

The Baguette Joke

A man that works for a large insurance company was sent to see the company's therapist. The therapist asked the man why he was sent to see her.
"I am told I have a speech impediment, but I think the really reason I was sent down here is because I hate baguettes," said the man in a crisp and fluid voice.
"That doesn't seem reasonable," replied the therapist. "You don't sound like you have a speech impediment, and I can't see how baguettes are at all relevant to your job."
"That's what I said!" claimed the man excitedly, "I told them: I don't have a problem, and anyone who thinks differently can go buck themself!"

What's the policy at French morgues?

Baguette and tag it.

Why don't Indians eat baguette?

Because there's naan there.

I have a pet baguette that remains in it's cage.

It's bread in captivity.

I was at the zoo the other day when I noticed a baguette in one of the enclosures...

I went up to the zookeeper and asked why there was a baguette in a zoo. He replied "oh that?! It's bread in captivity"

A baker was smacked lightly with a baguette by his coworker.

He felt a small pain.

I saw a baguette in a cell at the zoo yesterday...

It was bread in captivity.

Two cockroaches run into each other in a week old baguette

One says to the other, 'Hey, I thought I was the only roach from around these parts. Where you from?'

The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'

A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.

The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.

French don't bag things

They baguette

What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette?

*Gluten tag*

Did you hear about the guy who robbed the airport for food worth about $200?

He got away with a baguette and two sodas.

Buying bread.

There's this guy who goes and buys a loaf of bread right? And at the shop the employee asks the guy if he wants a bag or not.
The guy thinks a little while...and then says yes please, baguette.

What is meant by virgin oil?

That nobody has dipped their baguette in it

Why was the baguette excited for his audition?

He heard he might be playing a big roll

Yesterday I went to the zoo and was sad to see a baguette in a cage...

The zookeeper told me it was ok though because it was bread in captivity.

A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks..

"are you okay carrying this loaf?

to which he replies

baguette .

I saw a baguette in a cage the other day

The sign read "Bread in captivity"

Gaius Julius Caesar walks into a baguette shop.

The owner stops him at the door and says: "I cannot believe you have the Gaul to just strut in here like that!"

I went to the store to buy bread but my card was declined.

The cashier told me to just Baguette and go

Jesus, waving around a baguette at The Last Supper

"You wanna piece of me!?"

What did the Frenchman say when he got beat with baguette?

I'm in pain.

what do you call a French OP

a baguette

Bob was grocery shopping in France...

Cashier: That'll be 20 euros.
Bob: Alrighty!
Cashier: Would you like a bag?
Bob: Sure. Baguette. ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)

My Friend Said To Me...

"I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity."

I thought about it for a sec and said back "Oh yeah? Well, I went to the zoo and saw a pretzel in a cage. They told me it was knot bread in captivity."


What did the baker say to the baker.

Would you like to baguette?

Did you hear about the baker whose business was failing

He decided to baguette

what do you call a guy with twirly mustache but not from france?

A fake baguette

What did the frenchman say when his partner in crime asked if they should steal something?

Oui oui, baguette.

A friend of mine had a terrible accident in a baguette factory.

He's now in a lot of pain.

What do you call a werewolf eating a baguette?

A lycanthroparisian

Some French guy hit me with a baguette

I got pain

Lunch today was to die for.

Sesame seed baguette from Pret a Manger.

What do you call a female bag?

A baguette

So I just put a baguette in my microwave

Guess you could say that I witnessed a French Revolution.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes