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Baguette Jokes

64 baguette jokes and hilarious baguette puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baguette that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Baguette Short Jokes

Short baguette jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baguette humour may include short slice of bread jokes also.

  1. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity
  2. I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage The sign said they were bread in captivity.
  3. To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart. Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.
  4. I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage I guess you could say it was bread in captivity
  5. A guy walks into a bakery He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".
  6. To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart. The process is painstaking.
  7. I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.
  8. How do you kill a French vampire? You have to stab him/her with a baguette.
    It sounds easy, but the process is painstaking.
  9. I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I? Banned from the supermarket.
  10. What's the Indian way of saying 'Bread of Heaven'? Is it:
    A) Holy Loaf
    B) Sacred Baguette
    Or C) Naan of the above

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Baguette One Liners

Which baguette one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baguette? I can suggest the ones about loaf of bread and bagel.

  1. My wife attacked me with a baguette She's been charged for assault with a breadly weapon
  2. Did you hear about the baguette in the zoo? It was bread in captivity.
  3. How do they package bread at the bakery? They baguette.
  4. How does a baguette fight end? With a lot of pain.
  5. I just killed a vampire with a baguette the process was painstaking.
  6. Went to the zoo to find a baguette caged They said it was bread for captivity
  7. Why was the dog shaped like a baguette? Because it was bread that way.
  8. I was trying to eat a stale baguette Safe to say, it was a pain
  9. Why don't Indians eat baguette? Because there's naan there.
  10. What's the policy at French morgues? Baguette and tag it.
  11. I have a pet baguette that remains in it's cage. It's bread in captivity.
  12. I saw a baguette in a cell at the zoo yesterday... It was bread in captivity.
  13. A baker was smacked lightly with a baguette by his coworker. He felt a small pain.
  14. What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette? *Gluten tag*
  15. How do the French get bread home? They baguette

Baguette joke, How do the French get bread home?

Hilarious Baguette Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about baguette you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sliced bread jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baguette pranks.

Why was the baguette excited for his audition?

He heard he might be playing a big roll

A german, a french and a turkish man on a plane

The plane is about to c**... unless the passengers drop some weight. The pilot tells the three guys to drop something which they have enough of in their country.
The french man throws a baguette out of the window.
The turkish man throws a kebap out of the window.
The german throws the turkish man out of the window.

A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks..

"are you okay carrying this loaf?
to which he replies
baguette .

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat...

An American, a Frenchman, and a Canadian are all in a boat. The boat is sinking.
The Frenchman throws a baguette off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
The American throws a computer off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."
The Canadian immediately throws the Frenchman off of the boat, saying "We have too many of these in our country."

French don't bag things

They baguette

Buying bread.

There's this guy who goes and buys a loaf of bread right? And at the shop the employee asks the guy if he wants a bag or not.
The guy thinks a little while...and then says yes please, baguette.

I was once attacked by a Frenchman with a baguette

That memory is still inbreaded within me.

Two cockroaches run into each other in a week old baguette

One says to the other, 'Hey, I thought I was the only roach from around these parts. Where you from?'
The other responds, 'Who, me? I was born in bread right here.'

Did you hear about the guy who robbed the airport for food worth about $200?

He got away with a baguette and two sodas.

A baker bakes 73,247 baguettes in a year and sells each for $2.73. What does he make?

Bread.

I saw a baguette in a cage the other day

The sign read "Bread in captivity"

Did you hear about the French guy that got baked into a huge baguette?

He was in a lot of pain

A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.

The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.

What is meant by v**... oil?

That nobody has dipped their baguette in it

Yesterday I went to the zoo and was sad to see a baguette in a cage...

The zookeeper told me it was ok though because it was bread in captivity.

I am a Latino pansexual with no regrets

Hot dog buns work ok, baguettes are good when they are hollowed out, and donuts were probably made for it.
So I don't know why my friend always is saying that I'm doing it wrong

I was at the zoo the other day when I noticed a baguette in one of the enclosures...

I went up to the zookeeper and asked why there was a baguette in a zoo. He replied "oh that?! It's bread in captivity"

My Friend Said To Me...

"I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity."
I thought about it for a sec and said back "Oh yeah? Well, I went to the zoo and saw a pretzel in a cage. They told me it was knot bread in captivity."
:3

A Frenchman is arrested for m**...

He is convicted by an eye-witness acount. He then breaks out of jail and stabs his witness with a baguette. The witness' son sees this and stabs the killer with another baguette.
Vengeance baguettes more vengeance.

What is a female " d**..." in France called??

A d**...-baguette

What do you call a baguette up your b**...?

A pain in the a**...

1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.

Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"
Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"
Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody stole my watch! This is Moscow."

I once asked an affluent French baker how he'd managed to make so much money making bread. His answer:

Success baguettes success.

Why do babies in medieval paintings look like baguettes?

*It's cause they're i**...*

Baguette joke, I went to the zoo today and there were 2 baguettes in a cage

jokes about baguette