The Best 18 Bagpipe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bagpipe jokes. There are some bagpipe javelin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bagpipe tong puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bagpipe Jokes and Puns

Bagpiper at a Funeral

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's' cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, and we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say;

"I NEVER SEEN NOTHIN' LIKE THAT BEFORE AND I'VE BEEN PUTTING IN SEPTIC TANKS FOR TWENTY YEARS."

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Did you know that there's a place in the Middle East that's considered the father of the bagpipe?

It's Baghdad

Bagpipe joke, Did you know that there's a place in the Middle East that's considered the father of the bagpipe?

My neighbors yelled and banged my door 3 in the morning, literally 3!

Luckly, I was still up practicing my bagpipe.

Why do bagpipers always walk while playing the bagpipes?

They are trying to get away from all the noise.



Note: I actually really like the bagpipes.


what's the difference between an onion & a bagpipe?

nobody cries when you slice up a bagpipe...

The neighbors complained about my 5 a.m. bagpipe playing...

...I guess they're not mourning people.

Bagpipe joke, The neighbors complained about my 5 a.m. bagpipe playing...

Never run with a bagpipe...

You may get kilt

What's similar about a shy jihad and a bagpipe

They only make noise once they've been blown up.

A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar...

everybody leaves.

Why are the bag-pipers always marching?

They're trying to get away from the noise.

You can explore bagpipe violin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bagpipe maraca dad jokes. There are also bagpipe puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I need your best Scottish joke, asap! Scottish stepdad's birthday today.

I need a good Scottish joke or two to make fun of his primitive Tartan wearin' bagpipe blowin' and Braveheart barbarian culture.

Preferably, the joke will make fun of Scots as a bunch of useless drunkards subjugated by the English.

This is becoming a bit of a birthday tradition so give me your best!

Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?

To get away from the noise.

My girlfriend is like a bagpipe

When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises.

My neighbours love my 3am bagpipe practice

They even throw bricks through my window so they can hear it better

I want bagpipes at my funeral.

So I don't have to listen to them.

Bagpipe joke, I want bagpipes at my funeral.

What do you call a Scottish person with a colonoscopy bag?

A human bagpipe.

If you start to cut the grass at 9am in the morning on a Saturday, please stop

You're ruining my bagpipe practice

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bagpipe tuba jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bagpipe tennish piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes