bagged Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious bagged puns

poor guy.

The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries...

Until I unpacked them all & said, "That's how I want you to do it."


A guy walks into a bakery

He buys bread, and the baker asks if he'd like his bread bagged in paper or plastic. The guy replies, "Baguette however you want".


3 ducks

A hillbilly went hunting one day in West Virginia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home where he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies.The game warden ordered to the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid West Virginia hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, This duck ain't from West Virginia . This is a Kentucky duck. You got a Kentuckey huntin' license, boy? The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kentucky hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, This ain't no Kentucky duck. This duck's from Tennessee. You got an Tennessee license?
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Tennessee license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain't no Tennessee duck. This here duck's from Virginia. . You got a Virginia. huntin' license?

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a Virginia. hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly Just where the hell are you from?
The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said You tell me, you're the expert!!


Best part of banging a milf

What's the best part of having sex with a milf?

Leaving with a juice box and bagged lunch in the morning!


A Big Game Hunter Walks Into A Bar...

A big game hunter walks into a bar, dragging a giraffe with him.

He slaps it down on the bar and nods at the bartender and says "I bagged this'n in the safari, but right now I really need to piss."

As he's walking to the bathroom the bartender calls out "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!"

To which the man responds, "That's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"


Three vampires walk into a vampire bar.

The first vampire orders a cup of hot blood. The second vampire orders a cup of cold blood. The third vampire orders a cup of hot water. The first vampire asks the third "Why don't you drink blood? You're a vampire, man." The third vampire takes a used tampon from his pocket and answers: "I like mine bagged."


Two guys go moose hunting.....

A bush-pilot drops Bob and Ted, two moose hunters, at a remote lake in Northern Ontario. He tells them that he'll be back in a week, and warns them that his plane won't be able to take off with more than one moose.

The next week he returns, and sure enough the hunters have bagged two moose. The pilot tells them there's no way they can take off with the two moose.

Ted says, I don't know, the pilot last year took off with two moose.

To which Bob adds, Yeah, but maybe he wasn't a total pussy!

Not wanting to be outdone, the pilot loads up everything and they start to move down the lake.

The plane is gathering speed, but the pines on the shore are rapidly approaching. Finally the plane gets airborne, but one wing clips the top of a tree. The plane spins, crashes into the trees, and breaks apart.

Sometime later Ted regains consciousness and begins searching for his buddy. He finds him, and when he wakes him up Bob asks, Do you have any idea where we are?

Ted replies, I think about 200 yards further than last year.


Irish hunters

Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.
They bagged six.
As they started loading the plane for the return trip, The pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. A few moments after, climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?" "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."?


Pet Skunk

A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.

"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.

"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."


My ex must be a capitalist

She bagged a deal in exchange for next to nothing.

When she left, she managed to take it all.


A cargo ship struck an iceberg, tearing a gash in the side.

It was carrying bagged chips, so it didn't sink until it was unloaded.


What are the most funny Bagged jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Bagged? Well, here are the best Bagged dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Bagged pick up lines to share with friends.


Joko Jokes