The Best 44 Baggage Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Baggage jokes. There are some baggage flight jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these baggage layover puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Baggage Jokes and Puns

Where do you put your emotional baggage?

A griefcase

As migration approached, two elderly vultures

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."

My punchlines are like lost baggage...

you should get them in a couple of days.

- George Watsky

Baggage joke, My punchlines are like lost baggage...

Why did the airport luggage checker refuse to date the depressed man?

he had to much baggage

Nerd joke

A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."


A man is at the airport. The airline attendant asks the man, "Do you have any baggage?"

He replies, "I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a virgin."

What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo's garden?

One is cabin baggage, the other is Baggin's cabbage.

Baggage joke, What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo

Photon walks into the airport and TSA asks him if he has any baggage.

"No I am traveling light."

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

I saw a person with a backpack and a messenger bag.

Talk about some serious baggage.

I ran into my old girlfriend at the airport,

boy she has a lot of baggage.

You can explore baggage suitcase reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean baggage airline dad jokes. There are also baggage puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What is empty and spins round and round?

A Malaysian Airlines baggage claim.

Never date a girl with lots of baggage

They'll travel too much, you will never get to see them.

Airline Prices

Airline prices are getting out of control, soon they will start charging for emotional baggage. "Where did he touch you as a kid? that will be an extra $50."

My ex-girlfriend had a lot of baggage

which was very useful when she moved out

I like my woman like a I like a flight

* Easy to find online
* Baggage free
* Willing to serve hot food

Baggage joke, I like my woman like a I like a flight

The electromagnetic wave arrived at the hotel, when the hotelier asks...

"Do you have any baggage to check in?" - "No, I'm traveling light."

When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?

The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.

This girl I started dating said she loved to fly...

She always had a lot of extra baggage and unforeseen costs.


I could never date a suitcase

Just too much baggage for me I guess

A photon checks in at the airport for his flight. The ticket attendant asks him if he has any baggage to check, and the photon says, "No..."

"....I'm travelling light!"

With Ryanair, the price of your Flight Ticket does not include baggage or meals.

Now it doesn't even include your flight!

What do you call a pilot's therapist?

A baggage handler.

Why is my taste in woman like an airport?

Too much baggage and you're not getting anywhere

A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a terrorist bombing it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.

The airline lost my prosthetic leg

To make matters worse, a baggage handler dropped a heavy suitcase on my foot... I wanted to sue the airline, but my lawyer said I didnt have a leg to stand on.

It's been a week since Kate Spade's death and I still cannot believe it.

I guess you never really know what kind of baggage people are dealing with.

Why didn't the vulture have to pay a baggage fee at the airport?

She only had carrion luggage.

A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you?

The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

What do Captain Kirk and Mister Spock do to get their baggage up to their hotel room?

Tell a porter.

I believe every therapist deserves full flight benefits with any airline.

They carry so much baggage.

My short lived lawsuit against the airport baggage claim was thrown out

They made another brief case disappear

Who called it Emotional Baggage?

..and not Griefcase!

My suitcase started crying when I picked it up.

I was carrying emotional baggage.

Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport?

He wasn't allowed any carrion

Had a conversation with my suitcase about not going on holiday this year

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage

Cur-phew!

I told my suitcases that we're not going on holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

I just told my luggage there will be no vacations this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

A photon checks into a hotel...

The receptionist asks him if he needs help with any baggage.

"No thanks, I'm traveling light."

Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you

Use your grief-case

I told my suitcases that there will be no holiday this year....

I am now dealing with emotional baggage.

I told my suitcases that we wouldn't be going anywhere this year due to the coronavirus.

Ive been having to put up with a lot of emotional baggage.

What's the difference between an airplane and your ex?

The airplane carries less baggage.

I finally found the courage to tell my suitcases there will be no holiday abroad this year.

Now, I'm dealing emotional baggage.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the baggage knapsack jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working baggage vulture piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes