Baggage Jokes
64 baggage jokes and hilarious baggage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baggage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Baggage Short Jokes
Short baggage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The baggage humour may include short luggage jokes also.
- A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you? The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
- Nerd joke A photon walks up to an airline counter to buy a ticket and the clerk asks "any baggage to check?" The photon replies "No, I'm traveling light."
- I was at the airport when I saw a guy fall unconscious on the baggage carousel. He came around slowly.
- I told my suitcases that there will be no holiday this year.... I am now dealing with emotional baggage.
- I just told my suitcases we aren't going on vacation this year Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage
- I finally found the courage to tell my suitcases there will be no holiday abroad this year. Now, I'm dealing emotional baggage.
- A photon checks into a hotel... The receptionist asks him if he needs help with any baggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light." - I just told my luggage there will be no vacations this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
- I told my suitcases that we wouldn't be going anywhere this year due to the coronavirus. Ive been having to put up with a lot of emotional baggage.
- My punchlines are like lost baggage... you should get them in a couple of days.
- George Watsky
Share These Baggage Jokes With Friends
Baggage One Liners
Which baggage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with baggage? I can suggest the ones about suitcase and lost luggage.
- I ran into my old girlfriend at the airport, boy she has a lot of baggage.
- Why do vultures find it easy to fly? They only ever have carrion baggage.
- What do you call a Hobbit who isn't over their Ex? Bilbo Baggage.
- What is empty and spins round and round? A Malaysian Airlines baggage claim.
- What's the difference between an airplane and your ex? The airplane carries less baggage.
- Dear people, don't carry your emotional baggage with you Use your grief-case
- Why did the pilot ditch his ex-girlfriend? Because she had way too much excess baggage.
- Where do you put your emotional baggage? A griefcase
- Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport? He wasn't allowed any carrion
- What do you call a pilot's therapist? A baggage handler.
- My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
- I could never date a suitcase Just too much baggage for me I guess
- I saw a person with a backpack and a messenger bag. Talk about some serious baggage.
- My ex-girlfriend had a lot of baggage which was very useful when she moved out
- Who called it Emotional Baggage? ..and not Griefcase!
Emotional Baggage Jokes
Here is a list of funny emotional baggage jokes and even better emotional baggage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Had a conversation with my suitcase about not going on holiday this year Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage
- Airline Prices Airline prices are getting out of control, soon they will start charging for emotional baggage. "Where did he touch you as a kid? that will be an extra $50."
- Cur-phew! I told my suitcases that we're not going on holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
Airline Baggage Jokes
Here is a list of funny airline baggage jokes and even better airline baggage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?'
Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.' - The airline lost my prosthetic leg To make matters worse, a baggage handler dropped a heavy suitcase on my foot... I wanted to sue the airline, but my lawyer said I didnt have a leg to stand on.
- I believe every therapist deserves full flight benefits with any airline. They carry so much baggage.
- A man took an airline company to court after losing his baggage He lost the case
- A man is at the airport. The airline attendant asks the man, "Do you have any baggage?" He replies, "I haven't talked to my parents in 3 years, I have depression, and I'm still a v**...."
Baggage Handler Jokes
Here is a list of funny baggage handler jokes and even better baggage handler puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler. He lost my case.
Baggage Claim Jokes
Here is a list of funny baggage claim jokes and even better baggage claim puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My short lived lawsuit against the airport baggage claim was thrown out They made another brief case disappear
- What do you call a guy that has a girlfriend with a lot of issues? Baggage claim.
Charming Humor Baggage Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about baggage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean airline luggage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make baggage pranks.
As migration approached, two elderly vultures
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
What's the difference between a bag that you take onto an airplane and the vegetables grown in Bilbo's garden?
One is cabin baggage, the other is Baggin's cabbage.
Never date a girl with lots of baggage
They'll travel too much, you will never get to see them.
I like my woman like a I like a flight
* Easy to find online
* Baggage free
* Willing to serve hot food
The electromagnetic wave arrived at the hotel, when the hotelier asks...
"Do you have any baggage to check in?" - "No, I'm traveling light."
When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?
The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.
A photon checks in at the airport for his flight. The ticket attendant asks him if he has any baggage to check, and the photon says, "No..."
"....I'm travelling light!"
With Ryanair, the price of your Flight Ticket does not include baggage or meals.
Now it doesn't even include your flight!
A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a t**... b**... it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage
"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.
What do Captain Kirk and Mister Spock do to get their baggage up to their hotel room?
Tell a porter.
Never date someone that loads and unloads airplanes for a living
They have so much baggage
A vulture is going through customs and the attendant asked if he has any baggage to check in.
The vulture says, No, just my carrion.
An airplane joke
The pilot comes on the speaker
Pilot: "Now that we are in the air I figured I'd lighten it up with a joke. Knock knock"
Passengers "Whose there?"
Pilot: "Superman"
Passengers: "Superman who?"
Pilot: "You're at forty thousand feet, it's either me, or a really unlucky baggage handler, now open up"