Following is our collection of bakery humor and bread one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Bagels puns for adults, dirty croissant jokes or clean judo gags for kids.
There is an abundance of nym jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes on bagels. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any foods witze you can hear about bagels.
because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
Because if they live by the bay, they would be bagels!
"Is it a variation of 'Gabriel' or something?"
"Ah... no sweetie. As you know, your Mom loves bagels so we decided to play with that word".
"Oh... ok. Thanks, Dad!"
"You're welcome, Lana".
.."Excuse me, where is the Polish sausage?"
"Oh," says the clerk, "Are you Polish?"
"Whaat?" says the guy, indignantly."Are you serious? If I asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? If I asked for bagels, would you assume I was Jewish? Jeez!"
"No, I certainly would not. " said the clerk.
"Then why'd you ask if I was Polish?"
"Because, Sir," says the clerk, "This is Home Depot."
Hole foods
Karate is a method of self defense and judo is what bagels are made of.
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bay gulls ("like bagels, get it Dad?").
Because if the lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
My very quiet intern brought this in when I asked her to find a joke a day to share. She couldn't finish telling it without cracking up.
Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.
Because, then they would be plane bagels.
One is the ancient art of self defense. The other is what you make bagels out of.
The clock hits 12:30 and the meeting breaks for lunch. Being that he's in New York, the consulate requests to go out to lunch at a local Deli. An intern is charge with taking him out. As they are sitting and eating the consulate turns to the intern and exclaims,
"I have to admit, these bagels are really delicious! We don't have bagels like this in Germany."
"Well," the intern replies, "whose fault is that?"
They don't always work.
Because they're not bagels...
Then they'd be bagels!
They're both better toasted
It was all just a schmear campaign.
They're one of the holeyest foods.
I donut see a difference.
They finally get to toast something of their own.
..Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels!
Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it.
I took my girlfriend a breakfast sandwich this morning, I guess you could call that bae-goals
All of the sudden one of them plummets to the ground. Why?
Because bagels can't fly!
The same day two cows are also out flying and chatting and out of nowhere one of them also plunge down towards the ground. Why?
A bagel hit him in the eye!
But it was outta lox.
This joke is corny but my absolute favorite. Has been for many years.
There empty inside just like me
collars
They always shmear it.
Karate is a combat and self defense technique developed in japan that requires years of intense training and dedication to master.
Judo is what they make bagels out of.
She thinks judo is what you make bagels with
They prefer bagels with smear.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.