Badum Jokes

Following is our collection of tsk humor and tsst one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Badum puns for adults, dirty tish jokes or clean budum gags for kids.

There is an abundance of chh jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 48 funniest jokes on badum. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any tis witze you can hear about badum.

The Best jokes about Badum

Popped a tire on a pot hole today

Badum tss

What do you call a person who lives in Sweden but isn't native?

An artificial swedener

Badum tss.

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it'd be a foot.

~*Badum tss*~

Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs?

They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)

How does a nucleus get out of prison?

Through the cell wall.

*Badum tss* :D

After eating four cans of alphabet soup

I had a huge vowel movement.


Two nuns go on a bike ride through town...

As they ride through an alley, the younger nun turns to the elder and says, "I've never come this way before!"

The elder nun replies, "That's because it's cobblestones, dear."

ba-dum CHING. My granny told me that one this weekend.

What music do wind turbines listen to.....

They're huge metal fans.

Ba-dum chi

Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house?

His life was at stake.

Badum psh.

Why does Death's intern always follow his boss's orders?

Because he doesn't want to face any Reaper-percussions

Death in the corner: *Badum tsss*

*Oh no*

An elephant falls off a cliff and lands on a snake

Badum Hsssss

At least she didn't say swallow.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
"Chew Chew."

/Badum cshhhh

Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean...

ba-dum tshh

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

...Bad-um Tst

Why do all dogs go to heaven?

Because all the cats are in purrgatory.

ba-dum tssh

Why did the bee go to the doctor?

Because he had hives

Badum tsh

Why don't the Amish waterski?

The horses would drown.

Ba-dum TISH

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Ba-dum tss.

What do you get when you crucify your hand?

You get more fingernails. \*ba-dum tsss\*

What do you call a gay booger?


*ba-dum tss*

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

What do you call the stage a ladybug goes through before it becomes an adult?

Pupa-ty. ^^**ba-dum* ^^*psh**

What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in the present day middle east?

"Women's rights"

*^ba-dum ^ching*

What's Shrek's favorite shape?

A shrek-tangle! *ba-dum tss*

Three whales fall from the sky. Two hit the beach, then the last lands in the water...


[OC] Why did only one of Jesus's disciples betray him?

There wasn't enough wood for a double cross.
*badum tsssss*

What's shadier than a young tree?


*Ba-dum tss*

Bad religious joke I created.

One day Jesus is talking to god and says,

"Hey dad, guess what I did today?"

God: "What?"

Jesus: "I walked on water."

God: "No way."

Jesus: "Yahweh!"

Badum, tss

So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish...

yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me

What is the most affectionate type of chicken?

The tender ones (Badum Tss)

How do you introduce a hamburger?

Meet patty... badum tss

Three elephants are standing on a cliff. All three fall of the cliff. Two fall on land, one falls in the water.

Ba-dum tss.

[Accountancy joke] What do you call a threesome between 2 male accountants and 1 female?

Double entry.

*Badum dun tssss*

You cant BEAT a good drum joke


What happens when a rock gets high?

He gets stoned..

Badum tsss

I wanted to gift my brother a drum set...

...but I decided to keep it for myself. **badum tss**

Why would a banana go to court?

To get an appeal

Badum tssh

What is a blood cell's favourite candy?

Rhesus Pieces. Badum tsch.

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

If George Clooney...

What would George Clooney call his iTunes playlist?

Clooney Tunes.

Badum tsssh..

Did you hear the one about the speed bump and the cymbal?

Ba-dum, tish.

Three elephants fell out of a plane

Two landed on land, one into water.

*ba-dum tsss*

What's the best about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has it's prose and cons.

Badum Tish.

It's my first here, be gentle.

Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans?

They get crabby! Badum tsss.

What do you call a Generation Z fighting style?

Yeet Kune Do.

\*badum tish\*

Why did Elton John get so good on the piano?

Bc he sucked on the organ (badum chsss)


What's Santa Claus's favorite recreational drug?



I say, my wife's gone to the Caribbean!

*The Caribbean you say?*

Yes, that's right, the Caribbean.


No - she went of her own free will!


Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes