The Best 51 Badum Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Badum jokes. There are some badum tsst jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these badum budum puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Badum Jokes and Puns

What do you get when you crucify your hand?

You get more fingernails. \*ba-dum tsss\*

Two nuns go on a bike ride through town...

As they ride through an alley, the younger nun turns to the elder and says, "I've never come this way before!"

The elder nun replies, "That's because it's cobblestones, dear."

ba-dum CHING. My granny told me that one this weekend.

At least she didn't say swallow.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says:
"Chew Chew."

/Badum cshhhh

Badum joke, At least she didn't say swallow.

What's the best about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has it's prose and cons.

Badum Tish.

It's my first here, be gentle.

If George Clooney...

What would George Clooney call his iTunes playlist?

Clooney Tunes.

Badum tsssh..

Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean...

ba-dum tshh

Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans?

They get crabby! Badum tsss.

Badum joke, Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans?

Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house?

His life was at stake.

Badum psh.

What is the most affectionate type of chicken?

The tender ones (Badum Tss)

Why don't the Amish waterski?

The horses would drown.

Ba-dum TISH

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

You can explore badum tsk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean badum tish dad jokes. There are also badum puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Bad religious joke I created.

One day Jesus is talking to god and says,

"Hey dad, guess what I did today?"

God: "What?"

Jesus: "I walked on water."

God: "No way."

Jesus: "Yahweh!"

Badum, tss

What do you call pasta with ketchup?

Ba-dum tss.

So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish...

yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me

Popped a tire on a pot hole today

Badum tss

Three elephants fell out of a plane

Two landed on land, one into water.

*ba-dum tsss*

Badum joke, Three elephants fell out of a plane

What's shadier than a young tree?


*Ba-dum tss*

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

...Bad-um Tst

What's Shrek's favorite shape?

A shrek-tangle! *ba-dum tss*

How does a nucleus get out of prison?

Through the cell wall.

*Badum tss* :D

I wanted to gift my brother a drum set...

...but I decided to keep it for myself. **badum tss**

What do you call the stage a ladybug goes through before it becomes an adult?

Pupa-ty. ^^**ba-dum* ^^*psh**

After eating four cans of alphabet soup

I had a huge vowel movement.


What is a blood cell's favourite candy?

Rhesus Pieces. Badum tsch.

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Why did the bee go to the doctor?

Because he had hives

Badum tsh

What's Harambe's favourite operating system?


*badum tiss*

What happens when a rock gets high?

He gets stoned..

Badum tsss

Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs?

They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)

Did you hear the one about the speed bump and the cymbal?

Ba-dum, tish.

What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in the present day middle east?

"Women's rights"

*^ba-dum ^ching*

Why do all dogs go to heaven?

Because all the cats are in purrgatory.

ba-dum tssh

Two snare drums and a cymbal walk into a bar

Ba-dum tish!

Three whales fall from the sky. Two hit the beach, then the last lands in the water...


Why would a banana go to court?

To get an appeal

Badum tssh

What do you call a gay booger?


*ba-dum tss*


Why isn't the Pasta there anymore ?
Because it past away.

Badum Tss

How do you introduce a hamburger?

Meet patty... badum tss

Three elephants are standing on a cliff. All three fall of the cliff. Two fall on land, one falls in the water.

Ba-dum tss.

[Accountancy joke] What do you call a threesome between 2 male accountants and 1 female?

Double entry.

*Badum dun tssss*

What do you call a person who lives in Sweden but isn't native?

An artificial swedener

Badum tss.

What do you call a Generation Z fighting style?

Yeet Kune Do.

\*badum tish\*

Why did Elton John get so good on the piano?

Bc he sucked on the organ (badum chsss)


What's Santa Claus's favorite recreational drug?



What music do wind turbines listen to.....

They're huge metal fans.

Ba-dum chi

I say, my wife's gone to the Caribbean!

*The Caribbean you say?*

Yes, that's right, the Caribbean.


No - she went of her own free will!


[OC] Why did only one of Jesus's disciples betray him?

There wasn't enough wood for a double cross.
*badum tsssss*

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it'd be a foot.

~*Badum tss*~

You cant BEAT a good drum joke


Why does Death's intern always follow his boss's orders?

Because he doesn't want to face any Reaper-percussions

Death in the corner: *Badum tsss*

*Oh no*

An elephant falls off a cliff and lands on a snake

Badum Hsssss

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the badum chh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working badum tis piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes