The Best 35 Badge Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Badge jokes. There are some badge drugs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these badge rancher puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Badge Jokes and Puns
My boss: You're fired.
Me: *turns in gun and badge*
My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those
What did the sexist male police officer say to the female police officer who was trying to arrest an Occupy Wall Street protester who did not believe that the female police officer was an officer of the law?
Honey, badge her.
How did the badge get away with murder?
He pinned it on someone else.
Wheres the best place to hide after shooting a black guy?
behind a badge
Where do you hide after a murder?
Behind a badge.
It's like my uncle always said: "The day I can't do my job drunk..."
"...is the day I hand in my badge and gun."
I'm a cop and I got caught choking the chicken in public
I was revoked of my badge and sentenced to three years jail time. The chicken filed a civil rights suit and received 3 million in reparations
A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.
First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."
"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.
"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."
Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."
"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.
"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."
Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."
"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.
"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"
The badger
A husband and wife are driving home and run over a badger, they get out and find it's still breathing but freezing cold.
The husband says,"Put it between your legs to warm it up."
The Wife replies "But it's all wet and it stinks!"
Husband says "Well, hold its nose!".
In the US they make you take an IQ test before they give you a badge and gun.
If you pass the test, you don't get the job.
What do Badgers and Gynecologists have in common?
they both like to root around in your cellar
You can explore badge sticker reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean badge colt dad jokes. There are also badge puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Literary alcohol puns
I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?
Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...
50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red Badge of Liquid Courage.
Where do you hide after killing a black person?
behind a badge
Where do you hide if you kill a black man?
Behind a badge.
Sex
A Hell's Angel is doing the deed with his girl in the back seat of a car. He hears a tap-tap-tap on the window, looks up, sees a flashlight shine on a badge and then into the back seat, and a gravely voice say, "I'm next."
He starts quivering and shaking, and his girl asks him what is the matter.
He says, "I never done it with a cop!"
My dad is an amazing dad
When I was 5 he left to go get his "Dad badge" he has never came back, so he must be looking hard just for me
Where's the best place to hide after committing murder?
Behind a badge.
I wanted to chat-up the girl serving in the coffee shop, so I looked at her name badge and said:
"That's a beautiful name... Trainee"
What's the scariest thing about an Asian guy in prison?
His badge and gun
Where is the best place to hide after killing someone?
Behind a badge..
Where do you hide when you kill a black guy?
Behind a badge
Him: "Why do you always have to correct everything I say? What are you, trying to earn your Pedantry Badge in Boy Scouts or something?"
Me: "It's actually a pin, not a badge..."
As a Boy Scout, I failed my cooking badge.
I kept eating the Brownies before they were ready.
Apple has made a car that is pretty much an Apple badge Kia Soul.
It is called the Ikea.
What do you get when you cross a road with an old lady?
A Boy Scouts badge.
Boss: You are fired
Me: *Turns in gun and badge*
Boss: You are an engineer where did you find those?
Where's the safest place to hide after shooting someone?
Behind your badge.
What do you do with a guy who has a history of criminal violence?
Give him a badge.
When does a bad apple become rotten?
When it dons full riot gear and covers up its badge number.
The cops who are currently covering up their badge numbers are probably very bad at video games
They have no account-ability!!
After 35 years of carrying a gun and a badge.
I've decided it's time to stop impersonating a police officer.
On the badge you......
My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions: Do you know where you are? I'm at Rex Hospital. What city are you in? Raleigh. Do you know who I am? Dr. Hamilton. My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.
My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.
**The doctor asked him a series of questions: Do you know where you are? I'm at Rex Hospital. What city are you in? Raleigh. Do you know who I am? Dr. Hamilton. My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge. **
I was just fired from my job so I turned in my gun and badge
The other cashiers were quite concerned
An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.
The doctor asked him a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I'm at Rex Hospital.
What city are you in?
Raleigh.
Do you know who I am?
Dr. Hamilton.
the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.
guys i have copied this joke and edited formating. its not my original creation.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the badge mark jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working badge certificate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.