Following is our collection of sticker humor and drugs one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Badge puns for adults, dirty colt jokes or clean rancher gags for kids.
There is an abundance of mark jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 29 funniest jokes on badge. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any certificate witze you can hear about badge.
Me: *turns in gun and badge*
My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those
Behind a badge.
"...is the day I hand in my badge and gun."
behind a badge
Behind a badge.
Behind a badge..
First up was Mary. "My daddy served in Afghanistan. He was a paratrooper."
"A paratrooper?" Asked the teacher, who was awed.
"Yes, please look closer -- you can see his jump badge."
Second was Joe. "My granny served in Vietnam. She was a doctor."
"A doctor?" Asked the teacher, who was moved.
"Yeah, see? That's a stethoscope hanging around her neck."
Third was little Johnny, "This is my great grandpa. He was an electrician."
"An electrician?" Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.
"Yeah, here. You can see the two lightning bolts on his helmet"
Behind your badge.
So one day Kermit the frog decides that he wanted to buy this new condo by the beach. He goes into the nearest bank and strolls up to the counter. In front of him there was this teller with name badge blaring "Paddywhack".
Kermit says "I want a loan". She goes through usual procedure then asks him about a deposit.
He places this little tiny china elephant on the bench and says "Here's my deposit, give me a loan". The teller replies "I'm sorry that's really not good enough, you need money".
Kermit tells her that it's all he has and it will have to do. When the teller denies his request once more, he starts to get a bit angry. "Do you know who my dad is? He's MICK JAGGER." Kermit says forceably.
"I WANT YOUR MANAGER", Kermit yells. She lets out a sigh and wanders off to find her manager.
The teller explains to her manager the story about the deposit, the china elephant, and who it belongs to.
The manager places his palm on his face, looks up and says, "Jesus christ.. it's a knick knack Paddywhack, give the frog a loan.. his old man's from The Rolling Stones".
It is a cringe worthy joke, but I thought I'd share it.
behind a badge
Behind a badge
He pinned it on someone else.
Agent : we have evidence that Marijuana crops may have been planted on your property. May I have a look around?
Farmer : sure, just stay off the back 40 acres.
Agent : slightly perturbed, holds up his badge. "You see this badge? It means I can go anywhere I please.
Farmer : yeah, but I'm warning you, don't go back there.
So naturally the first place the agent goes is the back 40, a few minutes later the agent comes running out with a 1400 pound bull chasing him.
At which the farmer yells "show him your badge".
Behind a badge.
A husband and wife are driving home and run over a badger, they get out and find it's still breathing but freezing cold.
The husband says,"Put it between your legs to warm it up."
The Wife replies "But it's all wet and it stinks!"
Husband says "Well, hold its nose!".
When I was 5 he left to go get his "Dad badge" he has never came back, so he must be looking hard just for me
A Hell's Angel is doing the deed with his girl in the back seat of a car. He hears a tap-tap-tap on the window, looks up, sees a flashlight shine on a badge and then into the back seat, and a gravely voice say, "I'm next."
He starts quivering and shaking, and his girl asks him what is the matter.
He says, "I never done it with a cop!"
I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?
Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...
50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red Badge of Liquid Courage.
"That's a beautiful name... Trainee"
I was revoked of my badge and sentenced to three years jail time. The chicken filed a civil rights suit and received 3 million in reparations
They have no account-ability!!
If you pass the test, you don't get the job.
When it dons full riot gear and covers up its badge number.
Me: "It's actually a pin, not a badge..."
Give him a badge.
Me: *Turns in gun and badge*
Boss: You are an engineer where did you find those?
A Boy Scouts badge.
Honey, badge her.
It is called the Ikea.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.