Baddest Jokes
4 baddest jokes and hilarious baddest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about baddest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Happy Baddest Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What is a good baddest joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
So a man dies and goes to heaven...
When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."
Joe approached the gates of Heaven and God asked him what he had done in life that made him worthy...
Joe: "I once saw a gang of bikers harassing a woman, so I went up to the biggest and baddest one, gave him a punch across the face, and said 'If you want to mess with her again, you'll have to go through me first.'"
God: "Really? When was that?"
Joe: "About 5 minutes ago."
Three Bulls
Three bulls are out in a field one day, chewing on some cud.
The first bull, the largest, says "I heard there's a new bull coming in."
The second bull, not quite as large, says " I heard the same thing!"
The third bull, smaller by quite a bit, says "Me too!"
The first bull speaks up again and says "Well, he's not getting any of my cows." The second bull says the same thing and the third bull says "I only have two."
Just then, the old farmer's truck comes rumbling down the road. It stops and out pops the BIGGEST, BADDEST, STRONGEST BULL any of them had ever seen.
Mid chew, the first bull says " I guess I can spare one or two." The second bull says "Me too." But the third bull, the smallest of the three, starts to paw at the ground, and toss his horns in the air and starts flaring his nostrils.
The second bull asks "You're not going to fight him, are you?"
And he says "No! I making sure he knows I'm a bull!"
The brown paper cowboy
A bounty hunter wandered into an old Texan town, looking for the latest wanted posters. Not finding any, he made his way to the local sheriff's office. ''So, who needs bringing in around here?" he asked the sheriff.
''Well, there's only one godawful fugitive around here, the baddest guy in the west. They call him the brown paper cowboy.''
'Why do they call him that?'' asks the bounty hunter.
''Because he wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper jacket, and brown paper boots.''
''Weird'' says the bounty hunter. ''What's he wanted for?"
''Rustlin','' says the sheriff.
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