Badass Jokes

Following is our collection of motherfucker humor and warrior one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Badass puns for adults, dirty homiecide jokes or clean ftw gags for kids.

There is an abundance of cool jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes on badass. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any badasses witze you can hear about badass.

The Best jokes about Badass

Today I was walking past a car filled with black people and they locked the door when I got close.

I felt like a badass until I realized that it was my car.

Not to sound like a badass or anything but I completed this puzzle I got in a hour...

The box said 2-4 years.

I was walking by a car filled with black kids when I heard a "click" as they locked the doors and I felt like such a bad-ass...

...until I realized it was my car...

Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

Three Badass Mice walk into a bar.


Three mice walk into a bar.

The first mouse takes a swig of his beer and says, "I am a badass mouse. In my neighborhood, we have these big mousetraps. I'm so tough that I walk up to them, grab the cheese, catch the bar and press it up and down with one arm while I eat the cheese. I'm a badass mouse."

The second mouse takes a couple swigs of his beer and says, "That's nothin'. In my neighborhood we have that rat-poison stuff. I grab it, throw it in my water and gargle it. It ain't nothin'. I'm a badass mouse."

The third mouse slams his beer, gets up, and starts walking away. The other two ask, "Where are you going?" The third mouse looks at them and says, "I'm going home to screw the cat."


I prefer "badass" to "hemorrhoids"

when I describe my condition

You have to appreciate how badass those Chinese are...

They made a language totally out of tattoo symbols.

A guy gave me a badass eagle tattoo in my crotch region for $50.

It looked so sick that I asked him to give me a matching tattoo in the palm of my hand so I could show it to everyone, but he said this one would cost $100. He said, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Ice cubes are very badass

I mean they float around their own blood

What do you call the world's most badass sedan?

A Liam Nissan

You guys hear about that badass wrestler that loves ice cream?

They call him Coldstone Steve Austin.


Do you think when Caitlyn Jenner tries to tell badass stories to her kids they see right through her?

Because she's transparent?

*ba dun tsk*

One day I was walking when I saw a man on a motorcycle.

Suddenly a donkey came up kicked the man off the motorcycle, got on the motorcycle and then drove it away. And I thought to myself, That's badass .

can you guys help me find an AC/DC song?

it has 3 power chords and the lyrics are about being a badass, Thanks!





*stolen from RYM*

What do you call a badass who kills monsters and knows lots of useless information?

Geralt of Trivia

French people are badass

They eat pain for breakfast

E3 2017

Xbox: We have a new console with tons of good specs, VR support, and a badass name.

Sony: We have Kojima, God of War, Crash Bandicoot, and Spider-Man

Nintendo: We have plumbers and bunnies.

Why was Georg Ohm such a badass rockstar?

Because he knew a squared amp and resistance gave you power

They say that God only gives us what we can handle...

Apparently God thinks I'm a bad-ass


We all know that french people are badass because the eat pain every morning...

But imagine those who live in "Angers", or those who responds "Die" when you ask them in which town they work.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes