Bad Winter Jokes
12 bad winter jokes and hilarious bad winter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad winter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Winter Short Jokes
Short bad winter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad winter humour may include short winter cold jokes also.
- What are the four seasons called in New England? Almost winter, Winter, Still winter, and 3 months of bad sledding.
- Were does a black man go for the winter? A n**...-glo!
Yes I know its a bad joke, don't hate!
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Bad Winter One Liners
Which bad winter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad winter? I can suggest the ones about winter season and cold weather.
- Germany hasn't been upset this bad in Russia since 1943. Russian Summer = Russian Winter.
Comedy Bad Winter Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about bad winter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean summer winter jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad winter pranks.
The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.
His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"
Made this up while laying in bed and yes it's bad. I apologize in advance
A 35 year old house painter walks out of his home on a snowy winter day but quickly scurries back inside and says with a grin on his face "It likes like I'M the one that needs another coat today"
President Trump wakes up one winter morning and looks out the Whitehouse window to see the words "Trump s**...!" Written in u**... in the snow.
Outraged, he tasks the Secret Service to find out who is responsible.
Later that day the director of the Secret Service comes into the oval office and asks, "Sir, we have an answer. Do you want the bad news or the worse news?"
"Give me the bad news."
"We got the DNA test back on the u**..., it belongs to the vice president."
"That's the bad news?" Trump exclaims, "what could be worse than that?"
"Well," says the agent, "it was in the First Lady's hand writing."
An American is calling his Russian friend in the middle of winter.
"Dude I don't get it how you can stand such cold."
"It's not that bad. And we're used to it."
"Still. I saw on TV it's like -70° where you live? Crazy!"
"What? Nyet. It's maybe -30°. Not bad at all."
"Even that would be way too cold for me!"
"Haha you get used to it. I'm telling you, it's like -30° and that isn't too bad. Your TV lies to you."
"I guess. But they were showing your city, with all the cars under the snow, people in heavy coats, even thermometers showing -70°..."
"Oh! You mean on the outside..."
Mickey mouse wakes up one winter morning and looks out the window.
To his shock, he sees someone has scrawled the words 'FUCK MICKEY' in u**... in the snow in front of his house. He calls the sheriff, who comes and asks him a couple of questions. He then takes pictures and samples of the u**... and leaves. The next morning, Mickey receives a phone call. It's the sheriff.
"Mickey, I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the u**... belongs to Goofy."
"Oh, no," says Mickey mouse. "What's worse than that?"
"It's in Minnie's handwriting."
Yellow Snow on the White House lawn
One winter morning, Bill Clinton woke up and looked out the window of his bedroom in the White House. He was shocked to see the words "Bill s**..." peed in the snow. He called the Secret Service to investigate the matter.
After a few days, the head of the Secret Service reported back to Bill, "I have bad news and I have worse news."
"Ok, let's hear the bad news."
"We did an analysis on the u**... and it belongs to Al Gore."
"And the worse news?"
"We did a handwriting analysis as well. It belongs to Hillary."
Reasons to allow drinking at work
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
The Indian Chief thought that it was going to be a bad winter
so he sent all the braves out to collect wood. As he watched them return laden with timber from the forest he suddenly felt that he ought to check his forecast so he phoned the local met office.
"Tell me, is it going to be a bad winter?"
"Yes" said the forecaster " it will be a bad one"
So the Chief told the braves that they didn't have enough wood and sent them back into the forest again. They returned with more wood but once again the Chief had doubts and he called the forecaster to confirm.
"It is going to be a really severe winter" replied the forecaster.
The Chief look at the wood store, decided that more was required and the braves were dispatched back in to forest. The Chief called the forecaster.
"Are you sure it's going to be a really severe winter"
"Look" said the forecaster "its definitely going to be the worst winter on record - the Indians are gathering wood like crazy!""