Bad Wedding Jokes
15 bad wedding jokes and hilarious bad wedding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad wedding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Wedding Short Jokes
Short bad wedding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad wedding humour may include short bad marriage jokes also.
- A photographer was badly hurt this morning when a huge block of cheese fell on him. Everyone posing for the wedding party picture had tried to warn him.
- I was at an emotional wedding, the cake was in tiers. Forgive me... but I needed a bad cake joke.. I mean I needed a cake joke bad.
- I felt pretty bad about breaking up with my girlfriend in a text But I felt even worse watching her read it.
In my defense, what kind of woman checks her phone during her sister's wedding service? - i went to a wedding for two antennae The ceremony was pretty bad, but the reception was amazing
- It's supposed to be bad weather tomorrow for my workmate's wedding I hope she doesn't get cold feet
- My uncle asked me to DJ his wedding. Apparently, it's in really bad taste to have the first song be "Little Girls" by Oingo Boingo.
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Amusing & Witty Bad Wedding Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about bad wedding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad wedding pranks.
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary
After the party had ended, the wife walked over to the husband, punched him in the arm and said "That's for twenty-five years of bad s**...!"
The husband hesitated a moment, then walked over to his wife, punched her in the arm and said "That's for knowing the difference!"
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young e**... to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
A joke that only Jews will get.
A Jewish man is getting married to a nonreligious woman. His religion is important to him so she agrees to have a Jewish wedding. The ceremony goes well, and all that's left is for the groom to break the glass. He steps on the glass, and it breaks in such a way that it slices his foot right through the shoe. He's bleeding badly.
The bride screams "Oh no he's hurt! Is anyone here a doctor?"
Ole wakes up one morning, remembering that it's his and Lena's 25th wedding anniversary.
Ole punches Lena in the arm. Lena awakes and asks, "What was that for?" Ole says, "That's for 25 years of bad s**...!" Lena then punches Ole in the arm. Ole asks, "Why did you hit me?" Lena says, "That's for knowing the difference!"
An old man wants to get life insurance
The employee working at the insurance company asks:
'How old are you, sir?'
'I'm 102.'
'102?! And you wanna get life insurance at *your* age? You know what? Come back tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow ain't good. We'll be celebrating my dad's birthday.'
'Your dad's birthday?! How old is he?'
'He's 139.'
'Okay, come back next week then.'
'Next week is definitely a bad time for me. We're gonna have a week-long party for my grandfather's wedding.'
'Your grandfather's weddig?! How old is he?'
'He's 164.'
'And he wants to get married at *his* age?'
'Nah, he doesn't, it's just that his parents are forcing him...'
Marriage or Death
At my second wedding my buddy was giving a speech. He started by telling me he had some bad news - 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's not the worst part though - the other half end in death. So I started thinking, my first one ended in divorce, so the odds are in my favor. I wondered about the math, so I started doing the equation and it turns out I'd rather be single than dead.
- I'm writing a set, notes and critiques are more than welcome
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her.
"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
Bad Diet
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami, Florida.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old man in the front row, raised his hand and said, "Wedding Cake?"
Bad foods to eat
A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."