Bad Weather Jokes

39 bad weather jokes and hilarious bad weather puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad weather that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Weather Short Jokes

Short bad weather jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad weather humour may include short cloudy weather jokes also.

  1. In the UK most people complain about the bad weather... In the UK most people complain about the bad weather, but Queen Elizabeth managed to get through 70 years and 214 days of continuous reign.
  2. I've just been sacked as the weatherman at the local radio station Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
    That's it!! No more mist and ice guy.
  3. How much does it cost to run Santa's sleigh every Christmas? Eight bucks
    Nine bucks if the weather is bad.
  4. My granddad always used to say "there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing". I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.
  5. Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama. The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.
  6. How much does it cost Santa to ride his sleigh around the world? 8 bucks. Unless the weather is bad, then it's 9 bucks.
  7. The weather is so bad today, it's raining cats and dogs Maybe a PetSmart blimp wasn't such a good idea after all
  8. I think the ancestors of my family may have been British... ...I can spark up a conversation about bad weather faster than any other topic.
  9. The weather forecast is looking pretty bad over in Germany. There's a high chance of heil.
  10. Bad weather? FEMA representative: During the last storm did you receive any damage to your property?
    Homeowner: Hail, yes.

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Bad Weather One Liners

Which bad weather one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad weather? I can suggest the ones about cold weather and changing weather.

  1. The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today He's Snowden
  2. How do you get over bad weather? Climate.
  3. What does me at the Bad Grammar Competion and the weather have in common? We both win'd
  4. We have to stop the snowflakes Yeah the weather is bad too
  5. Who's the greatest hockey player of all time in bad weather? Rain Gretzky
  6. I called ISIS and asked why the weather's been so bad lately. ISIS claimed reponsibility.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Bad Weather Jokes

What funny jokes about bad weather you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean warm weather jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad weather pranks.

The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.

His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now

So I thought I'd check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.
She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.

Four priests decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and went golfing in polo shirts and khakis.

However, their game was not going well, and after a series of terrible shots, the caddy asked, "Are you guys priests?"
"Yes, we are," replied one of the priests, "Why?"
'Because,' said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."

Code red for storm Eunice in The Netherlands

A friend of mine is now on Texel, one of the Dutch Wadden Islands, off the coast of The Netherlands. Sadly, the weather conditions there are very, very bad. The perceived temperature is close to freezing, lots of heavy rain, and wind gusts of close to 100 mph (150 km/h). They are now completely isolated, they cannot leave. They're completely stuck. His mother-in-law does nothing but look through the kitchen window. He's thinking, if it continues like this, he'll have no choice but to let her in...

At The Door

One day, a woman's doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. The woman opened the door, and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. The woman felt sorry for her, so she asked the young woman into the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off.
The woman wanted to make conversation as the two drank their hot chocolate, so she asked the Jehovah's Witness, "So, what's the message you're passing along?'"
The girl stuttered and said, "I'm not sure. I never got this far."

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.
They call it the clam before the storm.

Two Jews leave Russia

One goes to Israel and the other goes to Germany. When they get together a year later, one of them says,
"Abram, I'm doing great. I opened my own business in Haifa. The weather is nice, and everyone speaks my language!"
"You know, Khaim," says Abram. "I'm not doing too bad myself. I live in Munich and work in a crematorium. You won't believe it friend, but I'm actually burning Germans!"

It's supposed to be bad weather tomorrow for my workmate's wedding

I hope she doesn't get cold feet

I want to visit the Shetland Islands

...but the weather's pretty bad up there. I'm told that's why they're a little hoarse.

I don't get why democrats always blame the weather when they lose.

Dead people don't care if the weathers bad

The weather is so bad here, the wife cannot stop looking through the window if it gets any worse.

I will have to let her in.

Ahh it's finally June. Hopefully the weather will be better this month. I was getting tired of hearing how bad May weather was.

Everybody keeps complaining about Mayweather...

But we're only three days in and the weather hasn't been THAT bad.

A Priest with a golf addiction...

awakes to a beautiful Sunday morning after weeks of bad weather. He just can't work today, he HAS to find a way to fit in a round or two of golf. He calls in sick, and drives 2 hours to distant course so no one will recognize him. He lines up his first shot, a par 5, and lets it rip...
Meanwhile, Saint Peter and God are watching the wayward priest, and as he tees off God waves his hand and the ball flies straight and true all the way to the green, bounces once, and goes straight into the hole.
St Pete is confused and asks, "Why didn't you punish him?"
God responds "I did! ....who is he going to tell?"

Bad weather..

I just received this report from a friend in the USA regarding the bad weather there at the moment. He lives in Boston and for the last 2 days they've had non stop snow temperatures of -16 degrees and gale force winds of up to 60mph. They are totally isolated and his mother-in-law hasn't done anything else other than looking through the kitchen window. He was saying that if it carries on like that he will have no alternative but to let her in.
TL;DR (upon advice):
The weather here is terrible. My MIL hasn't done anything else other than staring through the kitchen window. I might have to let her in.

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend. He does this no matter what - regardless of rain, snow, or thunder.
One day, however, the conditions are just too bad for him to ride his bike. There is a thick hail, brutal winds, and very slippery ice patches. Finally, after an hour, he decides to go home.
He lies down next to his wife, who is asleep and says: "The weather is terrible outside."
Half awake the wife replies: "And to think that my idiot husband is outside riding his bicycle."
(my 80 y old grandpa's joke)

A couple decides to go on vacation.

A couple from London decides to go on a vacation together to Spain.
Due to a sudden change in the wife's work schedule the husband decides to fly first and the wife will join him a couple of days later.
As the husband arrives weather is great and he feels kind of bad for his wife still working at home so he immediately decides to send her a letter.
Unfortunately the letter by mistake gets sent to the grieving widow next door.
Being old and still in shock after just having lost her husband she opens up the envelope without looking at the address.
The letter read as following:
"Hi Honey! Just got down here and boy is it freaking hot.
Looking forward to seeing you when you arrive in a few days"

jokes about bad weather