Bad Teeth Jokes
56 bad teeth jokes and hilarious bad teeth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad teeth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Teeth Short Jokes
Short bad teeth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad teeth humour may include short missing teeth jokes also.
- If dentists make all their money from bad teeth... ....why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend.
- How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? "Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"
- What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear.
I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes. - We all know what's red and bad for your teeth (a brick). But what is blue and really bad for your teeth? A really fast brick.
- So my brother told me this joke. He said it is a nerd joke What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
The same brick moving really really fast. - I'm not saying that my ex-wife has bad teeth, but she smiled in Tesco once and the barcode scanner thought she was a set of saucepans.
- Accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream ...but at least my a**... smells minty fresh
- I don't understand why so many people in the south have bad teeth when they try their best to keep everything else straight and white.
- What's common between a lawyer and an eccentric billionaire with bad teeth? Both have a very expensive retainer.
- WANTED: Good man, about 90 years old, half blind, deaf in one ear, bad leg, no teeth, good with a gun.. To watch my wife while I'm out hunting.
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Bad Teeth One Liners
Which bad teeth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad teeth? I can suggest the ones about bad dentist and big teeth.
- What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
- Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.
- What's red and bad for your teeth? An angry dentist
- What's yellow and bad for your teeth? A school bus
- Why do philosophers have bad teeth? Because they don't get transcendental plans.
- What's red and bad for your teeth? The new Republican healthcare plan
- Why were the Carpenter's teeth so bad? Because he was always biting his nails.
- What's red and bad for your teeth? Lipstick
- Unlike most English people my girlfriend doesn't have bad teeth. She sold them.
- What's red and bad for your teeth? A can of Coke.
- I have my girlfriend a teeth whitening today. Too bad most landed on her chin
- What's grey and bad for your teeth? A hammer.
- What's black and bad for your teeth ? A black hole.
- What did the gang of red heads with bad teeth call themselves? GIIIIINGA FIGHTAS!!!
Silly Bad Teeth Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about bad teeth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean losing teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad teeth pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the r**....
The Pastor's New Teeth
The Pastor goes to the dentist to get a new set of false teeth. On the first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. On the second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes.
But the following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what had happened to cause that.
The Pastor explained that the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much again to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up...
I try to tell this joke in english :]
There's a young boy, with no arms, nor legs called Lumpi.
Lumpi plays in front of his house in the sandbox, then a window opens on the 4th floor and Lumpi's mother yells at him "Lumpi time to eat!" and she throws down a rope.
As Lumpi sees the rope hanging out of his window, he starts to rob to the rope and bite's it! He trained hard to hold himself on the rope with his teeth. Lumpi is very hungry and starts to pull himself up only with his teeth. Lumpi pulls and pulls, he's on the 1st floor, the window opens and a young Lady smiles at him, Lumpi smiles back, then pulls again...and again, 2nd floor the window opens and an old man sees him and waves at him, Lumpi shakes his head to greet back, then he start's to pull himself up again. Lumpi, all sweaty and hungry now on the the 3rd floor, near his own window on the 4th floor. The window on the 3rd floor opens and a Lady sees him, then she says "Hi Lumpi! What are you going to eat now?" and Lumpi replies " Pizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!...."
Sry for my bad english, I just tried to tell a joke in english that I know in my own language. :)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
50 Shades of Grey
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "fifty shades of grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to s**....
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there n**... and n**...
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning....
...(coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: 'You English folk eat the whole bread??'
Englishman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.'
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) 'We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside.. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England .' The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The Englishman listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: 'Do you eat jam with the bread??'
Englishman: 'Of Course.'
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).
'We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England .'
After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: 'Do you have s**... in France ?'
Frenchman: 'Why of course we do', he says with a big smirk.
Englishman: 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?'
Frenchman: 'We throw them away, of course.'
Englishman: 'We don't. In England , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France .'
Old Joke From Bosnia
A boy rides up to his friend on his bike, he says "Look at me I can ride my bike!"
The friend says "Mhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again
Boy "Look I can ride with out using my legs!"
friend "Mmmhm"
Again the boy rides up again later that day
Boy "Look I can ride with out my legs or arms!"
friend "Mmmhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again on his bike
the boy says "Look I can ride without my teeth!"
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
He was just sitting there, cleaning his teeth
At work today all of a sudden this bell started going off and everyone was panicking because we thought something bad was gonna happen. Well, o**... who had been working there for a while was just sitting around cleaning his teeth, so i asked him what's up and he says, "oh don't worry about that it's a floss alarm".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ghandi
Ghandi was a mystical prophet of god. He wore no shoes,so he developed many callouses on his feet. He was a fruititarian,eating no protein,so his limbs were very spindly. Also,he never cleaned his teeth,so he was eternally cursed with bad breath. This made him a…"Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Have you been for a check-up recently?" asked my dentist.
"No. No I haven't," I answered.
"I can tell," he replied.
"Are my teeth bad?" I chuckled.
He said, "No, but I saw the w**... of cash in your wallet."
False teeth.
A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.
The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his wife's' teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know the reason why the orcs in the lord of the rings are British?
They saved a lot of time in costumes making their teeth look bad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't Do That In Public
A boy and his mother stood looking at a dentist's showcase. "If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair," said the small boy, pointing.
"Hush, w**...," interposed the mother quickly, shaking his arm. "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?"
Jewish man calls his mom. "Mama, I have good news and bad news..."
Mother, ever the optimist: "Give me the bad news."
Man: "I can't live a lie anymore. I'm gay."
Mother, a traditional conservative woman, after the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that was expected of her by her son, regains her composure and asks: "Well, what's the good news?"
Man: "So I met this nice Jewish doctor..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Crude Dental Work (In Australian)
Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'
For past 10 years my wife has been complaining to me about not putting the cap back on the toothpaste...
On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said:
Why did you stop brushing your teeth ?? !!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do we know about Gandhi?
Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For past 20 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night, she turned and looked at me and said - "Why have you stopped brushing your teeth since a week ??"
Marriage is a social crime, I tell you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Neighbor: I'll have you know our lawyer has a $50,000 retainer!
Me: Wow, how bad are his teeth?
