Bad Teacher Jokes
75 bad teacher jokes and hilarious bad teacher puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad teacher that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Teacher Short Jokes
Short bad teacher jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad teacher humour may include short bad boss jokes also.
- A dad joke my science teacher told me a long time ago: Why are bacteria so bad at math?
Because they multiply by dividing.
RIP Miss Henn. Miss her lots. - Is it ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?
- "Can you tell me an anagram of 'rootworm'?" asked my teacher. I said, "Tomorrow."
He said, "Too bad, I want one right now." - Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play.
- Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer?
Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping. - Teacher: in this class you should love logarithms. Student: what if they don't reciprocate?
Sorry for the bad math joke... but it was just too good. - I have a crush on my teacher AND on the girl sitting next to me It's getting so bad, I may fail out of home school.
- My teacher gave me a bad grade on my essay, she said the ending was too unexpected . Guess I'll never end it with the Spanish inquisition in that class ever again...
- My gym teacher was shouting at me like Power comes from the legs! I know you can do it! It felt really bad as I was standing on a ledge on the 31st floor.
- Trying out new Arm-the-Teachers laws, a Texas teacher recently shot a student in the eye. In the teacher's defense, it was a bad pupil.
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Bad Teacher One Liners
Which bad teacher one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad teacher? I can suggest the ones about mean teacher and school teacher.
- Why do kindergarten teachers have bad eyesight? Because their pupils are small.
- Teachers: Procrastination is bad! Theresa May: Hold my government
- My English teacher always says my grammar's bad. But yesterday she missed a period.
- What do you call a bad Mathematician? A high-school teacher.
- So I hired a Horn teacher the other day! (I badly needed a tooter.)
- What did a bad teacher tell their wisecracking student? Don't get smart with me.
- Why is Gandalf a bad teacher? His students never pass
- English teacher: plagiarism is bad. *takes bite from Oreo*
- Why was Roy Moore a bad music teacher? All he knew how to do was finger a minor.
- I heard that my friend had s**... with his teacher. Too bad he is home schooled.
Uplifting Bad Teacher Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about bad teacher you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kids teacher jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad teacher pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words?
Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time."
Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence."
Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I f**... many times!"
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
my pre school guitar teacher...
got in trouble for f**... A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who r**... me in the mouth
Bad Science Joke
A high school science teacher is ordering supplies for his class online, but he can't find one particular compound. So he calls the store. "Excuse me sir," says he, "But do you by chance carry Sodium Bromate?" The store owner replies, "Na-BrO"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Letters of the Alphabet
A teacher is going through the alphabet in class, asking the students to say a word that begins with each letter.
"OK, the first letter is 'A'," the teacher says. Little Johnny immediately raises his hand. Knowing that he is rude and foul mouthed, the teacher decides not to call on him for fear of him saying any bad words that begin with the letter A. So she calls on someone else. They go through the whole alphabet until they get to the letter "R."
At this point Little Johnny had been raising his hand for every letter. The teacher thinks to herself; "Well, I can't think of any bad words that begins with 'R'." "Johnny, want to try this one?" "I have a word- 'rat'."
The teacher is so glad he didn't say anything crude when all of the sudden he adds "A Big f**...' Rat."
Using the word 'definitely'
A 3rd grade English teacher stood in front of her class and asked for volunteers to use the word 'definitely' to describe something.
The first student, Johnny, raised his hand and said "Teacher, the sky is definitely blue!"
The teacher responds "Well Johnny, sometimes the sky can be grey and sometimes it can be black." Defeated, Johnny put his hand down.
The next student, Susie, looking to make Johnny look bad proudly said "The grass is definitely green."
Teacher responded "Not so true Susie. When the grass dies, it can be brown, or yellow." Susie was embarrassed.
The teacher looked around the room and saw a puzzled look on her student's faces. Just as she was about the help her students out, little Billy threw his hand up.
"Yes Billy?"
"Teacher, are farts lumpy?" Little Billy asked.
"No Billy, farts are not lumpy."
"....Then I definitely just pooped my pants."
EDIT - Names...D'oh. Face meet palm
Little Jimmy goes to school
His teacher asks him "Why weren't you in school yesterday Jimmy?"
He says "Sorry, my Granddad got burnt."
"Oh" she says "Was he badly burnt?"
Jimmy replied "Well they normally do a good job at the crematorium"
It's Fathers Day At Kindergarten And All the Kids Are Supposed To Make Cards... (Fixed)
...by drawing a picture of their father at work.
Teacher asks, "Logan, what does your father do?"
"My dad's a cop. I'm gonna draw him catching a bad guy."
Then the teacher asks, "Briei, what does your father do?"
Briei says, "My dad's a writer. I'm going to draw him with his new book."
Teacher gets to Little Johnny. "And what does your father do, Johnny?" The teacher looks at the card and is surprised to see it's a picture of a man stripping at a gay bar! Knowing better the teacher asks why he lied Little Johnny says, "My dad's the quarterback for The Vikings but i'm too embarrassed to tell that..."
The teacher faints.
What Does Your Father Do?
It is the first day of kindegarten and the teacher is going around the room asking everyone what their father does for work.
1st Child: My dad is a policeman, he sends bad guys to jail!
2nd Child: My dad is a fireman, he puts out fires!
3rd Child: My dad is dead.
The teacher asks:
Well, what did your father do before he died?
3rd Child: Well, he went "AAAAKKKKKKKKK"
Joke I came up with when I was ten
So a student walks into his classroom early and approaches the teacher.
He says: "I just wanted to tell you that I couldn't do my homework last night"
The teacher asks: "Why not?"
The students replies: "Because I ran out"
Teacher: "Of notebook paper?"
Student: "No, of toilet paper"
Teacher: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Student: "I had to improvise"
It's a really bad joke but I remember my parents thought it was funny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(Bad) Chemistry Pun
teacher: why does bromine bond to this molecule instead of one of the other halogens?
me: because bromines before h**...-mines
(met with groans and laughs from the class)
Billy and Joe were called into the teacher's room after class.
The teacher said that one of them had cheated off the other. Every single one was the same until the last one, the written response. At that point, the teacher asked, "What was your answer Billy?"
Billy replied," I don't know."
"And you Joe?"
Joe read his paper and said, "Me neither."
Not sure if repost but I know it's pretty bad. Thought it was funny before.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.
"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"
"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"
"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his w**...."
The teacher gasped in horror as T.J smiled mischievously.
"Oh, it was like a peanut it was!"
"Hah, so it was tiny?", the teacher relieved, asked.
"No, salty!"
Multiple-choice test results
I got a 11 out of 200 in a multiple choice test and the teacher was fuming with anger.
To demonstrate how bad I did he took out an empty answer sheet, put a shoe mark on it and fed it into the marking machine.
The result is 18 out of 200...
A high schooler told his geology teacher that..
"geology rocks!"
The teacher's response?
"that's Gneiss, but it's too bad you're so schist at it"
#\#rokt
Billy asks his teacher for a bathroom pass.
"If you Want a bathroom pass," says his teacher, "you need to recite the alphabet first."
Billy needs to go really bad, so he recites It as quickly as he can.
"ABCDEFGHIJKLMMOQRSTUVWXYZ!"
The teacher responds, "Almost, Billy, but where is the P?"
"About halfway down my leg."
The son of a mexican father comes home from school
The father asks
"How was school boy?" to which the son replies
"Bad, I got detention today" the father was shocked
"For what?" he asked
"Well the teacher told me turn in my ese, but I ani't no snitch"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm s**... attracted to one of my students
I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice
TIFU by approaching a woman I thought I had as a teacher for one day in third grade, but it wasn't her
Oh, my bad, wrong sub
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks they're s**..., stand up"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher:"There has to be at least one s**... student here"
*Timmy stands up*
Teacher:"Timmy do you think you're s**...?"
Timmy:"No, I just felt bad that you were standing alone"
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Good news and bad news...
The good news is that I get regular s**... with my teacher. The bad news, I'm home schooled.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johnny, could you please come up here and count to ten?
The teacher asked Johnny to come up to the front of the classroom and count to ten
Teacher: "What are waiting for Johnny?"
Johnny took a deep breath
Johnny: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..."
Suddenly Johnny burst out crying and the teacher came running to him
Teacher: What's wrong Johnny, why did you stop at 5?
Johnny: "Because I feel so bad for 6!"
Teacher: "Why do you feel bad for it?"
Johnny: " O-On the news this m-morning it said '6 died in major car c**...'"
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E.
One boy says: Elephant.
Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T.
The same boys says: Two elephants.
The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behaviour. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M.
The boy shouts from the other side of the door: Maybe an elephant!
I'm not saying my acne was bad at school, but when one boy asked the science teacher how many planets there were in the galaxy...
The teacher said, "Less than there are on his face."
Social anxiety is tough when you're trying to flirt with your ceramics teacher.
I can't help but think I make a bad first impression.
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
A Jewish kid's parents sent him to a Jewish school
After a week he was kicked for bad behavior, so they sent him to another Jewish school. He was kicked from there as well, so they chose to send him to a Catholic school instead.
After a month they came to a school meeting, and the teachers praised the kid and said he does really well.
They asked the kid what was up. He said that at his first day at school, while they were showing him around, the teacher showed him a man hanged on a cross and said "See? He was Jewish too".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a good thing Breaking Bad wasn't made in England.
A show about a school teacher going to NHS for cancer treatments would s**....
2 Muffins are in a oven
One of them says, it's hot in here,
The other one screams ahhh! talking muffin.
I know this is bad but my biology teacher said it and wanted to prove it was a bad joke.
I don't get it.
I'm a teacher.
Anytime I say 69 my students laugh.
It's too bad I never get it.
Bad at Titles
Teacher: Whoever answers the next question correctly, can go home early!
Student: \*raises hand\*
Teacher: What is it?
Student: It's me raising my hand, and now I can go home. Thanks!
A teacher was getting fed up with one of her student's bad hand writing-
She said Your hand writing is absolute chicken scratch! I can barely read it. How are you going to get a job if your employer can't read what you write?
He said Don't worry, Miss. I'm going to be a doctor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Teacher Was Teaching Words and Thier Opposite In Meaning When...
A teacher was teaching words and opposite then she pointed at Muhammad to stand and
answer some questions.
TEACHER: What is the opposite of good?
Muhammad : Bad.
TEACHER : Come?
Muhammad : Go.
TEACHER : Ugly?
Muhammad : s**....
TEACHER : You are wrong!
Muhammad: You are right!
TEACHER : Shut up!
Muhammad : Keep talking!
TEACHER : Ok, now stop!
Muhammad : Ok, now continue.
TEACHER: Get out!
Muhammad : Come in!
TEACHER : Oh my God!
Muhammad : Oh my devil.
TEACHER: You have failed!
Muhammad : I have passed."
A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.
One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".
"one day you'll become a doctor" - teacher
7 years later I just realize I had a really bad handwriting
Does this Turkish joke translate well?
A brand new professor is starting his first day teaching at a university. To do a better job of helping his students, he wants to know who is struggling most in class so he asks his students:
"If there is anyone in this class that feels like they're not smart enough and are struggling, please stand up."
The whole class went silent, then all of the sudden a student stands up.
"You don't think you're smart enough for this class son?" the teacher asks.
The students responds, "No sir, I just felt bad that you were standing up alone"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My t**... teacher said I was the worst student she ever had.
I guess I'm just bad to the 'bone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now"
Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Before lecturing her Sunday school class on heaven and h**..., the teacher asked her students "Do you know where girls and boys go when they do bad things"?
"Sure" a boy replied, "Behind Kristin's garage"
Between wealth and wisdom what will you choose ?
teacher : If you are offered wealth and wisdom what will you choose ?
student : wealth
teacher: No. That's a bad answer. I will choose wisdom .
students: that's ok sir. We have to choose what we don't have.
Television is bad for the eyes , a teacher says.
Jimmy: Yes, and also bad for the legs.
Teacher: Legs?
Jimmy: My brother Timmy has bad legs from our television.
Teacher: Jimmy, how can your brother possibly have bad legs from his television?
Jimmy: He dropped it on his foot!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher is teaching a class of kids about intelligence
She explains what intelligence is and then
Teacher: people opposite to intelligent are called s**.... Now how many of you think of yourselves as s**..., stand up.
She waits to see if someone would stand up but no one does. After a long while, finally a kid stands up.
Teacher: Do you think you are s**...?
Student: No
Teacher: Then why did you stand up?
Student: I felt bad since you're the only one standing.
What did the cannibal mother say as her family entered the coma ward of the hospital.
Eat your vegetables.
I know its bad but everytime i hear the vegan teacher say that sentece its all i can think about.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had to stop going to school after being hit on by my teacher.
The bad news is I'm homeschooled so my teacher just followed me.
