Snow Jokes
161 snow jokes and hilarious snow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about snow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover a wide variety of snow jokes for everyone! Whether you're looking for snow jokes for kindergarten, snowomen puns, or blizzard-related humor, we have plenty of laughs to go around. Get warmed up with some snowman jokes and enjoy!
Quick Jump To
- Short Snow Jokes
- Snow One Liners
- Snow White Jokes
- Snow Man Jokes
- Snow Day Jokes
- Snow Blower Jokes
- More Snow Jokes
Funniest Snow Short Jokes
Short snow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snow humour may include short winter jokes also.
- Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window. If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.
- carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow. It's called a Ted Cruise
- 1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow. 1's hands got so cold that they went numb.
2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number. - So far we have four inches of snow on the ground. Or as my husband would say...seven inches.
- Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den.
- I saw a poor lady fall unconscious in the snow today Well I'm assuming she was poor,she only had $1 in her purse
- Needed a Password eight characters long:: So, I went with 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
- Record low temperatures causing snow and freezing all over the southern United States. Finally: white people in Texas are having problems with ICE.
- Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
*Joke's from my Dad and his friend* - Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week They exchanged numbers
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Snow One Liners
Which snow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snow? I can suggest the ones about rain and weather.
- Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
- Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch
- I like my women like I like my snow Heavy & wet
- Snow isn't a problem in the Middle East ...but ISIS
- How do you follow Will Smith in a snow storm? You follow the fresh prints.
- Why is Jon Snow so ticklish? Aunts in his pants...
- Why do native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
- Why did the snowman take his pants off? He heard the snow blower was coming.
- Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7.
- Snow isn't a problem in Islamic countries But ISIS
- Why does the NSA hate the winter? They got snowed in.
- Why did Frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow-blower was coming.
- Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day.
- Why don't native Americans like snow? Because it's white and all over their land.
- Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear.
Snow White Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow white jokes and even better snow white puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do Indians not like snow? It is white and settles on their land.
- I hate it when.. I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark,
My white friend in snow,
My Chinese friend in sand,
And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strike. - Why do Native Americans hate snow? It's white and on their land
- Why do Aboriginals hate snow? Because it's white and on their land.
- What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.
- Why do native Americans hate the snow? ...because it is white and settles all over their land.
- Snow White and the 7 Dwarves were all in bed feeling happy Happy left soon afterwards, so they started feeling grumpy
- Why do natives hate snow Because its white and it settles on their land.
- Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
- What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White? Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!
Snow Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow man jokes and even better snow man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a ripped yeti? The abdominal snow man.
- Why was the snow man so happy? He heard the snowblower coming down the street.
- What did one snow man say to the other? Smells like carrots
- I built a snow man this morning. Then the sun came out and it became genderfluid.
- Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object.
- Why did the snow man pull down his pants? Because he heard the snow blower coming.
- Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ? Because he's a man of the nice watch
- What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot
- What does a snow man say when he's robbing a bank? Stick 'em up!
- Has the abominable snow man called? Not yeti.
Snow Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow day jokes and even better snow day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was out shoveling snow with my kid the other day... He kept whining about why I wasn't using the shovel.
- Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days? For the watch
- I was disappointed when it didn't snow on my wedding day... But I did get 8 inches on my honeymoon.
- For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in
- Ana from Frozen was upset it didn't snow on her Wedding day, but everything has a silver lining because she got 8 inches that night
- If a class going to cosmetology school can't make it because of a snow storm… Do they have a make up day?
- I made three snow angels the other day. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
- I met Jon Snow the squirrel the other day He knows nutting.
- Dad: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked miles to school, uphill, in the snow, every day. Son: Yeah?! Well when Abraham Lincoln was your age, Dad, he was president!
- What did Snow White say when her photos didn't arrive? Some day my prints will come.
Snow Blower Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow blower jokes and even better snow blower puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the snowman smile? He heard that the snow-blower was in town.
- Why couldnt the NSA whistle blower leave russia? He was snowed in
- Why was Frosty so happy? He saw the snow blower coming!
- What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by? Pull down his pants.
- Why couldn't he whistle blower leave Russia? Because he was Snowden!
Get it? Snowed in? Snowden?
Ahh...you'll get it tomorrow. - Gay eskimo and black man joke
What do you get when you mix a gay Eskimo and a Black man?
A snow blower that doesn't work. - With all the blizzard news here's a winter joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower? You give her a shovel!
- What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia? Edward Snowed-in
- What do you call a gay Yeti A snow blower!
- While everyone is arguing over whether it's called a snow blower or a snow thrower, I invented a way to turn a dishwasher into snow removal device. ...
I bought my wife a snow shovel.
Hilarious Fun Snow Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about snow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean icing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snow pranks.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow w**... cherry!
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
Two Snowmen are in a field...
...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."
My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion.
Outside is snowing hard.
My wife is looking thru the window with a nostalgic look.
If it is getting colder i might let her in.
PS: Sorry my native language is not english and i'm too old to learn it good.
One snowman says to the other snowman,
"do you smell carrots?"
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked:
'So Bobby, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
Snow in the forecast...
...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"
Fords new heated tailgates..
Fords working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won't be cold.
Northeast Weather
I just got off the phone with my friend in Boston. He said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just staring. He said, if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?
The snow, d**....
Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...
Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey s**..." in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the u**... came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."
What do you call a dead h**... found in a snow drift?
A Frostitute.
Husband and wife are arguing...
The husband thinks it's raining
His wife says, "No honey, that's snow"
So they ask Rudolph, their soviet friend what he thinks.
He says, "That is rain, comrade."
The husband says, "See! Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
2050's kids won't get this...
Snow
What's pink and has seven dents in it?
Snow white's h**...
Where does a polar bear keep his money?
In a snow bank.
Father looks out the window on a snowy evening.
He gets furious and turns red.
"What's the matter, dear," his wife asks.
"It's our daughter's new boyfriend. He's written his name in the snow with pee."
"Oh. That's not so bad."
"Yeah, but it's in *her* handwriting."
What do your sister and snow have in common?
I plow both.
Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.
Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.
If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
Why was the snow yellow?
Elsa let it go.
How do you find Will Smith in the Snow?
I don't know. Just look for the Fresh prints! Ha ha.
He's also black.
Why was the snowman smiling?
He saw the snowblower coming.
Why is s**... like snow?
Because you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last..
[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?
Because his watch has ended.
How did the snowman get happy?
The snowblower came around
A Russian Couple
A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!
I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?
In an e**....
There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.
Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.
Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.
"Got no clue", he said.
I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"
He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."
What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow?
Fro-zen.
Mickey called the police because someone had written "Mickey s**..." in u**... in the snow in front of Mickey's house.
The officer told Mickey,
"I've got some good news and I have some bad news."
"What's the good news?" Mickey asked.
"The good news is that we were able to identify whose u**... it was. It was Goofy's."
"How could the bad news be worse than that?"
"It was Minnie's handwriting."
"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"
Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"
Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"
Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"
*a baby cries in the corner*
Dad: Shut up Brick!
What do Daenerys Targaryen and the North have in common?
Right now, they're both getting a few inches of Snow.
There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick
Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA
What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?
In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.
What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store?
Picking his nose
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
Cr
The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now
So I thought I'd check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.
She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.
Our parents had to walk uphill both ways in 2 feet of snow to get to school...
But they didn't have to dodge bullets when they get there.
A Globe was walking down the street.....
It saw Central America crying on the curb.
The Globe asked, "Why are you crying?"
Central America sobbed, "Because....I will never get any snow!"
The Globe retorted, "Well, NOT with THAT latitude!"
In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow...
Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.
I was watching the weather on TV tonight and the forecaster said, "And because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 5 inches of snow." She then glared off camera and continued...
"Or as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches."
You know how to find Will Smith in the snow, don't you?
Just look for the fresh prints.
Me: d**...! The forecast shows up to 5 inches of snow!!
Wife: If I don't complain about a few inches, neither should you.
how can you find will smith in the snow?
look for fresh prints
I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today...
Well I'm guessing she was poor. She only had $1.00 in her purse.
Snow isn't a problem in Muslim countries but...
...ISIS
An Act of Malicious Conpliance
Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.
Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end.
Snow isnt aproblem in arab countries
But isis
Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has p**... Trump s**... in the fresh snow.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the u**..., and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
What do you call an Eskimo p**...?
A snow blower
Living in the northeast, I don't normally get mad about snow.
But this snitch a**... weatherman just let my wife know what six inches actually looks like.
A guy is relaxing at home when he hears a loud b**... on his front door. He opens the door to discover his next-door neighbor standing there looking outraged. "
What's the matter Bill?" he asks the neighbor. "I found your son's name written with pee in the snow between our houses!" he responds. "What's the big deal? He's a kid. Kids do that stuff". I'll tell you the big deal! It was in my daughter's handwriting!"
What's the seven dwarf's nickname for snow white?
Heigh h**....
Told to me by a six year old.
Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow
Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.
A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, now you can follow me over to Target."
