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Bad Skin Jokes

21 bad skin jokes and hilarious bad skin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad skin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Skin Short Jokes

Short bad skin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad skin humour may include short dark skin jokes also.

  1. I got a job on a farm.... It was circumcising donkeys, it wasn't too bad, 44 skins a day, with a chance to get ahead, and you could always count on big tips....
  2. Aren't dad jokes great? I got a bad sunburn a week ago, and my skin is staring to peel of.I guess you could say that it's.....appealing
  3. Two women are in prison Cell mate 1: I think I'm breaking out
    cell mate 2: no way that's insane
    Cell mate 1: I know my skin is usually like never this bad
  4. What did the brothers, of a girl, with a skin problem and a really bad eye infection say when he found out? "Sorry ah, sis"

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Bad Skin One Liners

Which bad skin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad skin? I can suggest the ones about skin care and dry skin.

  1. Where do taxi drivers with bad skin go for treatment? The Taxi Dermist.
  2. Skin cancer is not that bad It grows on you
  3. What did the Dalek with bad skin have to do? EXFOLIATE!!!
  4. Remember the ABCs of first aid. A
    Bone
    Coming out of the skin is really bad.

Bad Skin Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bad skin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wrinkled skin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad skin pranks.

A husband and wife are in a car c**...

They are both badly injured, but recover soon enough. However, the wife's face was badly injured during the c**... and she needs a skin graft to replace the skin on her cheeks.
The doctor says "The good news is, we know just the place to find the skin for your cheeks." He turns to the husband and says, "The bad news, however, is that the skin needs to come from your buttocks."
The husband quickly agrees. The wife says, "Honey, are you sure?" He says, "Of course, you're my wife, I would do anything for you!"
And so, the operation occurs. The wife's face is as restored as can be.
A while later, the wife says "Honey, how can I ever thank you for this?"
"You don't need to. I get all the satisfaction I need when my dear mother-in-law kisses your cheek."

A serial killer goes on a killing spree

He then skins all the faces off his victim and puts them in giant scrapbook.
The scrapbook is then tied to a post which he erects on his front lawn. It is quite a gruesome sight to behold.
Naturally the police find him pretty easily.
When he gets to court though his case is thrown out by the judge.
When asked why he let a serial killer go, the judge replies: "If we arrested everyone for bad facebook posts, half the country would be in jail!".

Old monk

There once was a very old monk that tended to break his bones when he fell down. He always walked barefooted everywhere he went so his feet were more callouses than soft skin. No one talked to him very long because his breath was so bad it could wilt flowers. They called him Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-cursed-with-halitosis

Ghandi never wore shoes...

...so he had thick skin on his feet. He was quite a weak man, though spiritual. And because of his poor diet, he often had bad breath.
You could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed with halitosis.

One night, a Police officer knocks on a woman's door...

"Ma'am", he says, removing his hat, "we have bad and good news".
"bad news first" the woman replies.
"I'm sorry, but a serial killer attacked your husband, cut his skin off and threw his corpse in the harbor"
The woman begins crying. "so what's the good news?"
"When we pulled him up he had 20 four-pound lobsters crawling on him. Want one?"
"No way. that's disgusting!" the woman sobbed
"Well, if you change your mind, we're pulling him up again tomorrow"

Accident

A young woman's face is badly injured during a car c**.... Before surgery the surgeon removes a large part of skin from her husbands buttocks so he can transplant it to her face. The operation is a success and the woman looks almost the same as she did before. Gratefully, the woman thanks her husband: 'You're so sweet you did this for me, when we get home I will make sure you'll have the night of your life'. 'No need' the man says, 'It's thanks enough to know that every time your mother kisses you, she will be kissing my a**...!'

In hard times, a young woman becomes a p**......

For obvious reasons, she tries to keep this hidden from her only relative, her old grandma.
One cold evening, the brothel that the p**... works in is raided by police. All s**... workers are forced to wait in a line outside to show identification and documents.
As luck would have it, nan was in this bad area in town saw her granddaughter in the queue. She asked "Why are you standing in line here dear, are you not cold?". Trying to think of a good alibi, the grand daughter told her that the policeman were handing out free oranges.
Excited by the prospects of free oranges, the old lady said "Why how awfully nice of them, I might get some myself" and went to the back of the line.
A policeman, going down the line for more information looks very suprised when he comes to the four foot eight female yoda. "Wow, how do you keep at it at your age?".
"Well darling, I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back, and s**... them dry".

Ghandi Poppins

I learned some interesting things about Ghandi recently:
He worked a lot in his garden and walked around with bad sandals, making his skin very hard and stiff.
He went on several hunger strikes, making him quite frail.
He was a Hindu spiritual leader, and therefore had many arcane thoughts and teachings.
Also, India didn't have very good o**... hygiene materials in Ghandi's day, so he often had very bad breath.
This all makes Ghandi a "super-calloused, fragile mystic hexed by halitosis".

Caught by a local tribe.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a p**..., cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, "a p**... for me please." The chief gives him a p**..., the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"
And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you s**... cannibal!
(my dad told me this one)