Bad School Jokes

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words?
Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time."
Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence."
Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I f**... many times!"

My son was like "I got a D in my maths" and I was like "That's really bad" and my wife was like "you need to stop doing his homework."

Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!

I have a crush on my teacher AND on the girl sitting next to me

It's getting so bad, I may fail out of home school.

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**...."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

my pre school guitar teacher...

got in trouble for f**... A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who r**... me in the mouth

Bad Science Joke

A high school science teacher is ordering supplies for his class online, but he can't find one particular compound. So he calls the store. "Excuse me sir," says he, "But do you by chance carry Sodium Bromate?" The store owner replies, "Na-BrO"

Did you go to school by horse?

I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play.

"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"

"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"
"My dad got burnt."
"Oh, that's terrible. I hope he wasn't burned too badly."
"Nah. They really know what they're doing at those crematoriums."

Little Jimmy goes to school

His teacher asks him "Why weren't you in school yesterday Jimmy?"
He says "Sorry, my Granddad got burnt."
"Oh" she says "Was he badly burnt?"
Jimmy replied "Well they normally do a good job at the crematorium"

In the old Russia, bevore USSR a small child comes home from the last day of school

and holding his grade sheet yells to his revolutionary father "Father! You know how you always say how bad our schooling system is? Now I have proof of it!"

I feel bad for Kim-Jong Un

It's hard being the fat kid in high school, so it must be really difficult being the only fat kid in the country.

Did you hear about the kid who brought a home made watch to school?

He had a real bad time...

The son of a mexican father comes home from school

The father asks
"How was school boy?" to which the son replies
"Bad, I got detention today" the father was shocked
"For what?" he asked
"Well the teacher told me turn in my ese, but I ani't no snitch"

I was really bad in my school band.

So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list.

What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert?

Lots of bad pickup lines.

I'm s**... attracted to one of my students

I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice

Walter struggled with stopping his car in driving school...

You might say he was breaking bad.

There are 3 types of students in my school.

Those that are good at maths and those that are bad.

Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it...

So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face

A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him to a private school

All the sudden inthe private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner table his parents ask,
"Why were you doing so bad in a
public school, and when we switched you to a
private school you did good?" The kid says,
"because I knew they were serious about school.
The first day I walked in they had a guy nailed
to a plus sign."

When I was a young boy, I was bad at Maths

I was so bad that I was expelled from my school for failing that subject so often. Because of this, my father sent me to Catholic school and after going for a year, my grades improved. The reason being, the second I walked through that door and saw the guy nailed to the fricking plus sign, I knew this school meant business.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!

What does a dad say when demolishing the washroom with thier son?

That will teach you to get bad grades in school.

People keep telling me that concussions are really bad for my health.

I can safely say that after three years of playing high school football, my Brian is working just fine!

Johnny was in school, and asked to go to the bathroom.

His teacher replied, "Not before you recite the alphabet correctly".
Johnny pleaded, "But I have to go really bad!", but his teacher was unrelenting.
Johnny said, "A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O, Q R S T U V W X Y and Z"
The teacher stated, "What about the P?"
Johnny said, "It's running down my leg".

Sports Day

It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"

Good news and bad news...

The good news is that I get regular s**... with my teacher. The bad news, I'm home schooled.

I knew it was going to be a bad day after I fell asleep on the school bus this morning.

Especially since I was the one driving.

Having a bad day?

Just remember that in the movie Air Bud , some kid got kicked off his school basketball team... and replaced by a dog.

I'm not saying my acne was bad at school, but when one boy asked the science teacher how many planets there were in the galaxy...

The teacher said, "Less than there are on his face."

Despite my excellence in all other school subjects, I always got bad grades in Greek history.

It was my Achille's elbow

A father is concerned with his son's bad grades in math

so he decides to enroll him in a Catholic school. After the first marking period, the son has an A in math.
The father is pleased, but he asks his son, "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"
The son replies, "I knew they meant business when I saw the guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign!"

Cows

People who think that cows are bad for the environment have udderly failed in school.

Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students?

To the suspension bridge.

What's the difference between a fisherman and a bad boy at school?

One baits hooks, the other hates books.

My teenage daughter was worried that she was too one-dimensional when it came to applying for schools. I told her that wasn't true and that she was like an onion. She has many layers.

She also smells really bad and makes me cry.

It's a good thing Breaking Bad wasn't made in England.

A show about a school teacher going to NHS for cancer treatments would s**....

Good news: I received a love letter in my locker!

Bad news: I study in an all-boys' school.

The Catholic church wants more people interested in priesthood.

They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.
Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."

I used to teach at a special school

I'm surprised how badly they treat the kids. To summarize my experience there, there's no ups only downs.

An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.

I said, "Don't worry, your parents won't say anything."

Bullying

A lady came to school today and told us bullying is bad. She then said Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt my. So I threw a dictionary at her.

Bad news: I got caught going 28 mph in a school zone.

Good news: statutory r**... won't affect my license points.

A sick man comes to a doctor. After an inspection, the doctor says "I have very bad news for you."

The man asks "What is so wrong?"
The doctor answers: "I missed all the lectures about your illness back in med school."

I heard that my friend had s**... with his teacher.

Too bad he is home schooled.

A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.

One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".

An 8 year old (Billy) and a 9 year old (Tommy) are sitting in a waiting room with their moms at a hospital

Billy asks Tommy why he's there.
Tommy says, To get my tonsils removed.
Billy says, Oh don't worry, it's not so bad. You get to stay home from school and eat all the ice cream you want.
Tommy then asks Billy, Why are you here?
Billy says, For a circumcision.
Tommy says, Oh boy, that's s**..., I had one when I was first born and I couldn't walk for about a year!

What if I tell you there is a way to stop all the kids in the school making fun of you because you are still a v**...?

Just start giving them bad grades.

Before lecturing her Sunday school class on heaven and h**..., the teacher asked her students "Do you know where girls and boys go when they do bad things"?

"Sure" a boy replied, "Behind Kristin's garage"

I can't seem to make a joke about how bad a school dance is,

I always get stuck at the punch line.

A nun teaching at a Catholic school frequently shows up to work in normal clothes because of how poorly-made the set of religious clothing she was given is.

It's a bad habit.

I gave a speech at a school for those with hearing impairments

Too bad it fell on deaf ears

"Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**..."

"Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop"

Schools should teach useful things such as parenting skills to children.

Okay, that's not a good idea. Children will immediately realize that they have bad parents.