Bad School Jokes
96 bad school jokes and hilarious bad school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad School Short Jokes
Short bad school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad school humour may include short failing school jokes also.
- Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found. Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
- Is it ok for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?
- I feel bad for current college students... Back when I was in school, our national health emergency was caused by drinking Four Lokos.
- I used to think I was bad at dating in high school as I never had a girlfriend. Prince Andrew must have been way worse, he was 45 when he got a high school girlfriend!
- Where does the architecture school's principal send bad students? To the suspension bridge.
- Despite my excellence in all other school subjects, I always got bad grades in Greek history. It was my Achille's elbow
- I can't seem to make a joke about how bad a school dance is, I always get stuck at the punch line.
- I knew it was going to be a bad day after I fell asleep on the school bus this morning. Especially since I was the one driving.
- I gave a speech at a school for those with hearing impairments Too bad it fell on deaf ears
- Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play.
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Bad School One Liners
Which bad school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad school? I can suggest the ones about kid school and bad teacher.
- Pedophiles may be bad people... ... but at least they drive slow through the school zones
- Pedophiles have kind of a bad reputation... ...but they drive slow near schools
- What is the ironic part of medical school? It's bad for your health.
- How does the russian mother punish her kid who got bad grades at school? Nietflix.
- How well did the sailor do in school? Not bad actually, he got high 'C's.
- Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
- I was taught that socialism was bad. At a public school.
- What's yellow and bad for your teeth? A school bus
- What do you call a bad Mathematician? A high-school teacher.
- Why are school marks bad? Because Karl Marx.
- My dancing is so bad My friends from the Waldorf School think that my name is Dorothy.
- Why Don't Communists Like School? Because they have always get bad Marx.
- I heard that my friend had s**... with his teacher. Too bad he is home schooled.
- Pedophiles aren't all bad... The always drive the speed limit in school zones.
Humorous Bad School Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about bad school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean public school jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad school pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words?
Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time."
Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence."
Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I f**... many times!"
My son was like "I got a D in my maths" and I was like "That's really bad" and my wife was like "you need to stop doing his homework."
Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
I have a crush on my teacher AND on the girl sitting next to me
It's getting so bad, I may fail out of home school.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Virginity in school
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**...."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
Three high school jocks are constantly annoyed
by a mentally challenged classmate. Since he has no concept of coolness, he's always talking to them as if they're his friends and laughing heartily at their attempted putdowns.
Finally they decide to really stick it to him. His father has bought him a new BMW, which only increases their ire. One day as he is cheerfully driving home from school, three cars are blocking the road. It's the bullies, eager to teach him a lesson and get him out of their hair for once and for all.
As he stops, they get out of their cars, all holding a baseball bat. One of them draws a circle in chalk on the road away from the BMW. "Get in the circle," he growls to the poor confused fellow, "and don't let me see you step out of it until we're done."
"OK," he chirps, and steps into the circle.
The bullies start swinging away at his car, busting a few windows and badly denting every side of it. "Now," one of them says, turning to him, "you understand what we think of you. Stay away from us, please!"
The victim hasn't fully comprehended the extent of the damage. In fact, as they turn to him, he's collapsing in laughter. He's snorting and nearly falling over.
"And what's so funny about it?" the angriest guy asks.
"Because while you guys were all busy with that, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
my pre school guitar teacher...
got in trouble for f**... A minor, but he wasn't as bad as bad as my pre school violin teacher...he fiddled with kids... but both were not nearly as bad as my pre school piano teacher....who r**... me in the mouth
Bad Science Joke
A high school science teacher is ordering supplies for his class online, but he can't find one particular compound. So he calls the store. "Excuse me sir," says he, "But do you by chance carry Sodium Bromate?" The store owner replies, "Na-BrO"
My 2nd Parrot joke!
A woman goes to a pet store and buys a parrot. Before she leaves the owner warns her that the Parrot had previously lived in a brothel and might have picked up some salty language. When she gets the bird home he looks around and says "New house."
She puts the bird down in the house and the parrot observes her for a moment before saying "New Madam."
The woman shrugs and thinks that it's not so bad.
Shortly after the woman's two daughters return from school and see the new pet. The Parrot looks at them and says "New girls."
Then her husband comes home from work and the parrot looks over at him and says: "Hi Bill."
"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"
"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"
"My dad got burnt."
"Oh, that's terrible. I hope he wasn't burned too badly."
"Nah. They really know what they're doing at those crematoriums."
A high school's star quarterback is about to be kicked from the team.
A high school's star quarterback is about to be kicked from the team because of his bad grades. To try and keep him on the team, the coach takes up the matter with the principal.
The principal , not wanting his team to lose, decides that he will make an exception. He gives the kid one last chance to stay on the team if he passes a test.
The coach, the principal, and the quarterback gather in the principal's office for the test.
"Here's the test. What is 4+7?"
The quarterback thinks for a long while, and then replies "10."
The coach starts to plead "Oh, come on. Give him another chance. He only missed it by two!"
Which tire was flat?
Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time.
Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam later. At the appointed time, the prof greets them and places them in two separate rooms to take the exam.
The few questions on the first page are worth a minor 10% of the overall grade, and are quite easy. Each student grows progressively confident as they take the test, sure that they have gotten away with fooling the professor. However, when they turn to the second page they discover that they really haven't.
The only question on the page, worth 90% of the exam, reads: "Which tire was flat?"
Little Jimmy goes to school
His teacher asks him "Why weren't you in school yesterday Jimmy?"
He says "Sorry, my Granddad got burnt."
"Oh" she says "Was he badly burnt?"
Jimmy replied "Well they normally do a good job at the crematorium"
Catholic School
So there's a bad jewish kid and he swears all the time. He gets expelled from school. His behavior combined with the town he lives in being so small where everyone knows everyone's business, causes his family to become pariahs.
Desperate for a solution, the parents ask the local Rabbi for help who suggests sending the boy to a *yeshiva* - a Jewish private school. The parents try this, but sadly, this seemed to make him worse, now he swears in both English and Hebrew.
The next week, Thanksgiving rolls around and the parents have the neighbors over to eat Turkey with them. The neighbor after a while can't help but remark "I know it's not my place, but your son is very unruly."
The parents sigh and say they have no idea what to do with him. The neighbor replies "I know you're Jewish but try Catholic School. Those nuns instill serious discipline in children."
Feeling out of options, the parents do enroll the son in Catholic School, and that same day he comes home from school the model son they always wished he was.
The parents are flabbergasted. They ask "Did the nuns beat you?", and the son replies "No mother, they did not." So the parent's say "Then how did this happen?" and the son replied "Well, when I saw the guy hanging on the wall there, I knew they meant business!"
Things you don't want to hear while undergoing an operation
* Did he say the right or left leg?
* I'd feel a lot better about this if the dotted lines were pre-drawn like back at school.
* Buddy! Buddy! Come back with that! Bad dog!
* Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie.
* Oh no! I just lost my watch.
* Argh! There go the lights again...
* That's so cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
* I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
* FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
* What do you mean you want a divorce?
Little Johnny had a bad day.
He stomped home from school to the family farm. Being an annoying little kid, he saw the farm animals and decided to take out a little frustration on them, so he yelled at the pig, chased the chickens around, and kicked in a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Finally, he made it to the house. His mom was waiting and furious.
"Johnny, I saw you just did and you're in big trouble! For abusing the poor pig and chickens, you don't get sausage or wings tonight. And no pumpkin pie, either!"
Just then, the two of them saw Johnny's dad came back from a day in the fields. He walked to the porch, where the cat is sleeping peacefully in the sun. He irritably kicked the cat out of the way to make it to the door. Johnny turns to his mom with a big grin and says,
"Shall you tell him, or shall I?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the old Russia, bevore USSR a small child comes home from the last day of school
and holding his grade sheet yells to his revolutionary father "Father! You know how you always say how bad our schooling system is? Now I have proof of it!"
Two students go skiing..
Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time.
Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam later. At the appointed time, the prof greets them and places them in two separate rooms to take the exam.
The few questions on the first page are worth a minor 10% of the overall grade, and are quite easy. Each student grows progressively confident as they take the test, sure that they have gotten away with fooling the professor. However, when they turn to the second page they discover that they really haven't.
The only question on the page, worth 90% of the exam, reads: "Which tire was flat?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I feel bad for Kim-Jong Un
It's hard being the fat kid in high school, so it must be really difficult being the only fat kid in the country.
Be careful what you name your kids
I met my wife when I was 25. We got married fairly young because she got pregnant. In march of 1989 we had a beautiful baby daughter that my wife wanted to name Love. She was the fruit of our mutual affection; therefore I agreed.
Love grew up hating her name, which greatly upset me and her mother. She was bullied in school every day, something we would have given anything to be able to stop. One day Love came home from school and kissed me on the cheek, something she hadn't done since she was a kid. I heard my wife drive into our yard and as I went to open the garage door for her I heard a loud bang behind me and fell on the floor. My wife ran up to me, and as I bled on her arms the only thing I could utter was
_Shot through the heart
And you're to blame, darling
You gave Love
A bad name_
Did you hear about the kid who brought a home made watch to school?
He had a real bad time...
The son of a mexican father comes home from school
The father asks
"How was school boy?" to which the son replies
"Bad, I got detention today" the father was shocked
"For what?" he asked
"Well the teacher told me turn in my ese, but I ani't no snitch"
I was really bad in my school band.
So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list.
What does a high school dance have in common with the parking lot at a Keith Urban concert?
Lots of bad pickup lines.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm s**... attracted to one of my students
I knew that becoming a primary school teacher was a bad career choice
Walter struggled with stopping his car in driving school...
You might say he was breaking bad.
There are 3 types of students in my school.
Those that are good at maths and those that are bad.
Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it...
So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face
A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him to a private school
All the sudden inthe private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner table his parents ask,
"Why were you doing so bad in a
public school, and when we switched you to a
private school you did good?" The kid says,
"because I knew they were serious about school.
The first day I walked in they had a guy nailed
to a plus sign."
When I was a young boy, I was bad at Maths
I was so bad that I was expelled from my school for failing that subject so often. Because of this, my father sent me to Catholic school and after going for a year, my grades improved. The reason being, the second I walked through that door and saw the guy nailed to the fricking plus sign, I knew this school meant business.
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.
A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a dad say when demolishing the washroom with thier son?
That will teach you to get bad grades in school.
People keep telling me that concussions are really bad for my health.
I can safely say that after three years of playing high school football, my Brian is working just fine!
Sports Day
It's sports day at a school for "special" kids. During the egg and spoon race, little Johnny falls and hurts himself badly.
One of the teachers freaks out and yells "call Johnny an ambulance, call Johnny an ambulance!"
All the kids immediately start pointing at Johnny and laughing saying "Johnny is an ambulance- Johnny is an ambulance!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Good news and bad news...
The good news is that I get regular s**... with my teacher. The bad news, I'm home schooled.
Having a bad day?
Just remember that in the movie Air Bud , some kid got kicked off his school basketball team... and replaced by a dog.
I'm not saying my acne was bad at school, but when one boy asked the science teacher how many planets there were in the galaxy...
The teacher said, "Less than there are on his face."
Cows
People who think that cows are bad for the environment have udderly failed in school.
A Jewish kid's parents sent him to a Jewish school
After a week he was kicked for bad behavior, so they sent him to another Jewish school. He was kicked from there as well, so they chose to send him to a Catholic school instead.
After a month they came to a school meeting, and the teachers praised the kid and said he does really well.
They asked the kid what was up. He said that at his first day at school, while they were showing him around, the teacher showed him a man hanged on a cross and said "See? He was Jewish too".
What's the difference between a fisherman and a bad boy at school?
One baits hooks, the other hates books.
My teenage daughter was worried that she was too one-dimensional when it came to applying for schools. I told her that wasn't true and that she was like an onion. She has many layers.
She also smells really bad and makes me cry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a good thing Breaking Bad wasn't made in England.
A show about a school teacher going to NHS for cancer treatments would s**....
Good news: I received a love letter in my locker!
Bad news: I study in an all-boys' school.
The Catholic church wants more people interested in priesthood.
They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.
Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."
I used to teach at a special school
I'm surprised how badly they treat the kids. To summarize my experience there, there's no ups only downs.
An orphan boy at my school did really bad in a test and started crying.
I said, "Don't worry, your parents won't say anything."
Bullying
A lady came to school today and told us bullying is bad. She then said Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt my. So I threw a dictionary at her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bad news: I got caught going 28 mph in a school zone.
Good news: statutory r**... won't affect my license points.
A sick man comes to a doctor. After an inspection, the doctor says "I have very bad news for you."
The man asks "What is so wrong?"
The doctor answers: "I missed all the lectures about your illness back in med school."
A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.
One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What if I tell you there is a way to stop all the kids in the school making fun of you because you are still a v**...?
Just start giving them bad grades.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now"
Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Before lecturing her Sunday school class on heaven and h**..., the teacher asked her students "Do you know where girls and boys go when they do bad things"?
"Sure" a boy replied, "Behind Kristin's garage"
A nun teaching at a Catholic school frequently shows up to work in normal clothes because of how poorly-made the set of religious clothing she was given is.
It's a bad habit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had to stop going to school after being hit on by my teacher.
The bad news is I'm homeschooled so my teacher just followed me.
Schools should teach useful things such as parenting skills to children.
Okay, that's not a good idea. Children will immediately realize that they have bad parents.
