Bad Santa Jokes
37 bad santa jokes and hilarious bad santa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad santa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Santa Short Jokes
Short bad santa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad santa humour may include short mall santa jokes also.
- How much does it cost to run Santa's sleigh every Christmas? Eight bucks
Nine bucks if the weather is bad. - The Bad News - I've been suffering from chronic Insomnia The Good News - Only 2 more sleeps until Santa arrives.
- Jeff Bezos is just a bad Santa. He has drones, our addresses and our wishlist, yet he refuses to do his duty.
- How much does it cost Santa to ride his sleigh around the world? 8 bucks. Unless the weather is bad, then it's 9 bucks.
- He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?
- If you wake up on Christmas morning with a bad taste in your mouth Remember, Santa only comes around once a year to empty his sack.
- Do you know why Santa only work on the 25th of December? Because he knows where all the bad girls are...(sorry)
- When I was 18 I got Coal from Santa Yup, raising Cole as a single mom was a punishment for being bad, I guess.
- Why is Santa in such a bad mood? Because he only comes once a year and it's down a chimney.
- "Baby it's cold outside" is bad because it's about a guy is trying to get laid. "Santa Baby" is ok because it's about a girl trying to screw Santa. Got it.
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Bad Santa One Liners
Which bad santa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad santa? I can suggest the ones about christmas bad and santa claus.
- Why is santa always happy? He knows where all bad girls are living.
- The reason why Santa is so jolly ...is he knows where all the bad girls live.
- Why is Santa Claus the happiest man? Because he knows the adress of every bad girl.
- Why is Santa bad at poker? He checks everything twice.
- Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
- Where does Santa get presents for bad kids? Kohl's.
- I named my glucose meter Santa because it knows if I've been bad or good.
- Short santa joke Why is Santa always happy?
Because he knew where all the bad girls are.. - Where does Santa shop for the bad children? Kohl's
- How does Santa keep track of the bad sea creatures? He puts them on the nautilus.
- I feel bad for Santa... Poor guy only gets to come once a year.
- What does Santa say to bad girls? h**... h**... h**...
Uplifting Bad Santa Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about bad santa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas elf jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad santa pranks.
Two elves are winding down in the North Pole bar after a long day of making toys.
After downing some shots of peppermint schnapps, the first elf says to the second, That COVID outbreak in China has really messed up the toy production schedule. I don't think Santa has ever pushed us so hard! .
The second one added, Yeah, things were so bad today that Rudolph and Blitzen were even called in to work on the assembly line.
The first one got an odd look on his face and said, Well, that explains why those Raisinets I found on the floor tasted so strange.
Santa was having a really bad day....
Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
Kids
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.
"Don't worry. Santa will never know."
He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know the cookie fell on the floor?
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!