Bad Relationship Jokes
25 bad relationship jokes and hilarious bad relationship puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad relationship that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Relationship Short Jokes
Short bad relationship jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad relationship humour may include short bad boyfriend jokes also.
- A bad joke:- Why did the horse feel at home in front of an old couple? Because he found their relationship to be stable
- So, full disclosure: There's this lady across the street whom I've been into for a while now. I just started talking to her and I gotta say...
Lawn distance relationships aren't that bad. - I'm not saying I'm bad at relationships... But Alexa has all but stopped responding to me and only occasionally yells out It's fine
- What do you call someone who has an unhealthy relationship with learning too many languages? They're polyglottenous.
(Sorry it's a bad joke) - Why is the spork so bad in relationships? Because when he's done forking he never wants to spoon.
- Bad Dad Joke: Q: Did you hear two University Geologists broke off their engagement?
A: the relationship was rocky from the start - I recently fell for a girl at Shady Oaks Asylum for the Mentally unsound. I'm now in a committed relationship.
God that was bad wasn't it... - Man 1: My wife suffers from a drinking problem
Man 2: That's too bad. Is she an alcoholic?
Man 1: No, I am. But she is the one that suffers
Share These Bad Relationship Jokes With Friends
Bad Relationship One Liners
Which bad relationship one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad relationship? I can suggest the ones about bad friend and bad marriage.
- What do you call and a one night stand gone bad? A relationship.......
- Why did the staircase had bad relationship with his mom? because his mom was his stepmom.
- My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screens.
- Thinking is bad... thinking is bad...
it ruins every 3 out of 2 relationships
Howlingly Hilarious Bad Relationship Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about bad relationship you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad date jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad relationship pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Half of relationships end because of bad s**.... Mine however ended because of good s**...
... with another woman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A kid asks his Granddad for relationship advice...
"Grandpa, Jenny broke up with me today. I feel so bad, I don't know what I'm gonna do"
"Listen kid, you're gonna be alright. You're young and got plenty of time. Let me tell you about what qualities to look for in a woman to have a lasting relationship:
1) Find a woman who makes you laugh
2) Find a woman who has a job and loves housework
3) Find a woman who is honest
4) Find a woman who will wait on you hand and foot
5) Find a woman who is awesome in the bedroom
6) Most of all, it is **Very Important** that these five women **Never** meet"
A husband and wife will only write notes to each other
A husband and wife are in a bad relationship and they agree that the only way they can talk to each other is through notes. So one night the husband writes a note asking his wife to wake him up at 5am for his business meeting. The following morning he rolls over and sees the time is 8am. He jumps out of bed yelling and cursing at his wife for not walking him up, that's when he looks on the night stand and sees a note from his wife that says "wake up".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man wishes to join an exclusive local church's congregation...
...and during his interview with the pastor, he's asked if he's ever engaged in any unusual s**... activity. He looks down, embarrassed, and sighs deeply.
"Well, yes, actually. Just last week, my girlfriend had dropped a head of lettuce. When she bent over, and I saw her shapely rear silhouetted by the light nearby, I ... I just couldn't help myself. I had to have her, so I made love to her right then and there."
The pastor replies, "I'm terribly sorry, sir. We can't allow that kind of behavior here. Premarital s**..., even in a loving relationship, is against our doctrine."
The man shrugs, seemingly expecting the rejection. He stands up and begins walking to the door. "Hey, padre? Don't feel bad," he says. "We're not allowed in Wal*Mart any more either."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A board boy sitting in restaurant and taking drinks.
Oneday, Jimmy was bored sitting in a restaurant in front of a Pepsi bottle.
Just later his friend Jekko came and drink the Pepsi.
He said, hello you so board, why?
Jimmy said, bad luck today. In the morning my girlfriend broke relationship with me unknown reason.
My car faces unknown problem, that's why I reached office late.
That's why my boss fired me from the job.
The whole I'm frustated and decided to s**... and mixed poison in the bottle of Pepsi.
It's so bad luck that you drink the whole Pepsi.
The day is really bad for me that I can't take the poison.
A woman had been in a bunch of bad relationships...
So she puts an ad out.
"I want a man who isn't violent, won't run away from commitment, and can satisfy me in bed." Simple and to the point.
The next day, her doorbell rings, and she answers the door. On her doorstep is a man with no arms or legs. She has a skeptical look on her face, but before she can say anything, the man interrupts.
"Before you say anything, I want to say that since I have no arms, I can't hit you. I have no legs, so I'm certainly not running from anything..."
"Well, how do I know you can satisfy me?" She asks.
"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is sick and tired of having bad relationships...
She's had the worst of the worst. Men who would run out on her, beat her, and men who were downright terrible on bed. In an attempt to better future relationships she decided to give online dating a try.
She filled out her profile and specified she was looking for a good hearted man who would never leave or a**... her who was also an efficient lover. It wasn't long after she had posted her profile that she was getting replies. She met with a few of them, but none of them felt like they truly met her requirements.
She was about to give up hope when she had a knock at her door. She opened it to find a man with no arms, and no legs there waiting.
"i'm here about your dating ad," he said.
The woman, who could barely believe what was in front of her replied, "you've got to be kidding me!"
Before she could slam the door the man interjected, "before you turn me away, hear me out. I've got no legs so I couldn't possibly run out on you and I've got no arms so I couldn't possibly hit you."
Still not convinced the woman asked, "oh? And how are you in bed with no arms or legs?"
"honey, how do you think I knocked in the door?"
Pete and Jenny were long time patients at the mental institution...
...and they had formed a relationship.
They were walking past the pond, Pete fell in and sank, Jenny, with no thought for her own safety, dived to the bottom of the pool and rescued him, she also gave him the kiss of life.
A few days later Jenny was summomed before the board of the hospital and was told that seeing how she had the sense to dive in to rescue Pete she could not be classed as insane, she was going home the day after.
When the nurse was helping her pack, she gave Jenny the bad news..........After you had rescued Pete, he was foubd in the hospital ward, dead, hanging from a beam !
Jenny replied, "yes, I hung him up to dry,can I go home now ?
A young couple is on their honeymoon. The husband is sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife is sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've got a confession to make."
She says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."