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Bad Memory Jokes

32 bad memory jokes and hilarious bad memory puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad memory that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Memory Short Jokes

Short bad memory jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad memory humour may include short forgetful memory jokes also.

  1. If you thought alcohol was bad for your short term memory... ...just imagine what alcohol will do!
  2. My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them... My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them...
  3. Everybody picks on me because apparently my memory is so bad But I cannot remember the last time I forgot something.
  4. Did you know there are many different words for lungs? I just can't remember them because I have bad lung term memory
  5. The doctor told me I have short term memory loss. That's the bad news.
    The bad news is that I have short term memory loss.
  6. My memory is bad so I put 'incorrect' as my password. Whenever I type a wrong password it'd say 'Your Password is Incorrect'
  7. You know it's bad When you have no sporty hobbies and have finger muscle memory for a keyboard.
  8. My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
  9. My girlfriend has really bad memory It's her own fault, I did offer to help upgrade her PC
  10. My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job.
    I'm still employed.
    I just can't remember where.

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Bad Memory One Liners

Which bad memory one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad memory? I can suggest the ones about memory loss and bad medical.

  1. My wife keeps saying that I'm not the man she married. I thought *my* memory was bad.
  2. How do you fix a bad memory? I don't remember.
  3. If anyone tells you that your memory is bad just ignore it until you forget it about it.
  4. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  5. Memory Has my memory always been this bad? Or is it getting worse? I can't remember...

The Funniest Bad Memory Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about bad memory you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad credit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad memory pranks.

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of p**... n**... calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

Wife asks her husband will he remarry if she dies.

Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.
Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.
Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.
Wife: Will you let her use my car?
Husband: Of course not
Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her
Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.
Wife: Will you give my shoes to her
Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.

3 brothers in their 90s lived in the same house.

While the 92yo and 94yo were playing cards in the dining room, the 96yo calls down, "Guys, the bathtub is full, but I can't remember if I was about to get in, or if I just got out."
The 94yo shakes his head and starts up the stairs to help him out. Halfway up, he calls out, "Hey, guys? Was I going up the stairs or down the stairs?"
The 92yo shakes his head and mutters "I hope my memory never gets that bad, knock on wood," as he knocks on the dining table. Then he calls, "I'll be with you guys in a second. Let me check who's at the door first."

If you s**... at playing the trumpet...

...that's probably why.
My neighbor who had horrible jokes passed away this week. This was one of his favorites. Enjoy a good (bad) pun in his memory.

God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit are going on vacation...

God the Father says "Let's vacation in Israel".
God the Son, Jesus, says "Too many bad memories there. Let's vacation in Berkeley."
God the Father says "I'm not into the Mother God, hippy v**...."
The Holy Spirit says "I know, let's go to Rome and visit The Vatican"
God the Father and Son ask - "Why?"
The Holy Spirit shrugs and replies "I've just never been there."

An old man goes to the doctor's

An old man goes to the doctor's because he has been feeling bad lately. The doctor does some tests on him and tells him to come back the next day for the results.
The next day the man gets his diagnosis. The doctor says: "Sir, I have bad news for you. You have inoperable cancer. The tests have also shown that you have problems with your memory. It seems you have Alzheimer's."
The old man says: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

Three old ladies

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just waken up!" The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?

An old man with bad memory...

(Edit- spelling)
An old man with bad memory is with his friends, and they're talking about their memory issues.
"My wife and I have been going to this great memory clinic," says the man, "they teach us all sorts of mnemonic devices and other ways to help us remember things."
"That's amazing!" says his friend, "what's the name of the place?"
Taking a moment, the man sits, thinking, and then asks, "okay, what's the name of that flower, its beautiful and red and romantic, but has some thorns?"
"Oh! A rose?"
"That's it!! Hey Rose, what's the name of our memory clinic?"

Fool or be fooled

A greedy guy was walking and passed by a hospital and there was a sign that says "pay 100$ for a treatment and if we couldn't treat you we give you 200$ back"
So he decided to fool them and get extra money so he goes in and says to the docter i lost my taste buds and the doctor calls his assistant and says i want a (pp7) potion and the man says it tastes very bad and the doctor says congratulations you got back your taste buds
So the man decides to get revenge and he goes to the same hospital again and said to the doctor i lost my memory so the doctor says to his assistant and says i want a (pp7) potion and the man said isn't that for the taste buds? And the doctor says congratulations you got back your memory
Sorry for the long post (:

So these two couples had known each other for decades, and would meet once a month for dinner.

It was always the same routine, they would meet at one couples house, and after dinner the women would go to the kitchen to clean up and catch up (not saying it's not sexist, but they were raised in different times) and the men would go to the living room for some catching up of their own.
The o**... says "So anything fun happen for you lately?" to which the other guy replies "Yeah...I saw a movie last week that was pretty good".
The first guy then says "Really? What was the name of it so maybe we could see it?" and the second guy replies "Oh geez, my memory is so bad......what's the name of those red flowers with the long stem and thorns?" to which the first guy replies "You mean a rose?"
"Yeah, yeah that's it." and over his shoulder he yells "Hey Rose, what's the name of that movie we saw last week?"

COMPUTERS: SHE OR HE?

COMPUTERS: SHE OR HE?
Why computers seem female:
-- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
-- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
-- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
-- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
-- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
Why computers seem male:
-- They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
-- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they are the problem.
-- As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
-- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
-- Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

An old lady at the clinic.

Doctor: I'm afraid to tell you that you have Alzheimer's disease.
Old lady: What? No way! I played poker, did math problems, and everything to prevent this...
Doctor: It's OK ma'am. Just keep doing what you're doing to prevent your condition from worsening.
Old lady: Sure.
Doctor: I will also encourage you to write down things that may be memory intensive, and keep a daily journal.
Old lady: I will.
Doctor: I will see you in three week's time.
Old lady: Thank you! I guess i should accept my condition. At least it's not as bad as having Alzheimer's.