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Bad Marriage Jokes

17 bad marriage jokes and hilarious bad marriage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad marriage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Bad Marriage Short Jokes

Short bad marriage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad marriage humour may include short bad wedding jokes also.

  1. Why do Jedis make bad marriage counsellors? Their only advice to males is "use the force".
  2. Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
    A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
  3. A wife to her husband after years of marriage: "Honey, I can tell you something that will make you feel bad and good in the same time..." ...our neighbour's d*c**... is smaller than yours."

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Bad Marriage One Liners

Which bad marriage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad marriage? I can suggest the ones about happy marriage and bad husband.

  1. A traffic jam is like a bad marriage... ...you're stuck in it because of an accident.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bad marriage can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bad marriage puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Humorous Bad Marriage Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about bad marriage you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bad wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bad marriage prank.

My marriage is over.

I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I've had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left.
I do feel bad about it all. But then I realised; I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone.

60 Years of Marriage

An old couple in their 80's are sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch enjoying the day. Suddenly the wife reaches over and just slaps her husband across the face.
Flabergasted he looks at her and says "what was that for?"
She responds "that's for 60 years of bad s**..."
They continue to rocking on the porch.
A few minutes later the husband reaches over and smacks his wife hard enough that it knocks her out of her chair onto the porch.
With tears in her eyes she asks "what was that for?"
Her husband replies "that's for knowing the difference."

For past 20 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.

This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night, she turned and looked at me and said - "Why have you stopped brushing your teeth since a week ??"
Marriage is a social crime, I tell you.

Mans wife finds 25,000 dollars and two ears of corn in a secret trunk at their home

Wife - Why are there two ears of corn in this trunk?
Husband - I kept a ear of corn every time I messed around on you.
Wife - Oh that's not bad, 34 years of marriage and only messed around twice? What about the 25,000 dollars?
Husband - Every-time I collected a bushel I sold it.

One day a man asked God:-

Is it wrong to sleep with other women after marriage?God replied"NO". Man:So why do people say its bad?
God:Its not bad..But the problem is that you Rascals don't SLEEP!

An accountant is having a bad day

Everything is going wrong, his marriage is going down the tubes, he is about to lose his job, he steps out and looks down
Guy on the street calls the cops and says "Come quick! There's an accountant on the ledger!"

Marriage or Death

At my second wedding my buddy was giving a speech. He started by telling me he had some bad news - 50% of marriages end in divorce. That's not the worst part though - the other half end in death. So I started thinking, my first one ended in divorce, so the odds are in my favor. I wondered about the math, so I started doing the equation and it turns out I'd rather be single than dead.
- I'm writing a set, notes and critiques are more than welcome

True Story re: marriage

Setting: I have a bad back. I'm standing in line for a flu shot. Guy in front of me knows me. Guy behind me is a stranger.
Guy in front: Hey John, hows your back?
Me: It's great now! I had my entire spine removed.
Guy behind me: Yea, I'm married too.

Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her.


"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"

First Experience after marriage

A Delhi mother was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters get married the same year, so she called them after the wedding and told them
Dont forget to text me your first night experience and text it in code
So……. after a week, the 1st daughter texted
NESCAFE
and the next week the 2nd daughter text
WILLS
the mother being an intelligent woman went to get a Nescafe tin and read the label
fantastic till the last drop
went to her husband's pack of WILLS cigarette and read
Extra long, king size
she smiled and said not bad for their ages .
After the next week, the 3rd daughter texted
Indigo Delhi Hyderabad ,
the mother then called Indigo airways helpdesk to enquire about their Delhi Hyderabad flight and they replied
it's 5times daily, 7days a week, both ways and the flight duration is 75mins .
Mother fainted

Awful Neighbors

"There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leashes.
Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing.
To the best of my knowledge, she has never worked in her life. Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for his racist comments.
All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay.
Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs.
They are both out of control.
God, I hate living near Buckingham Palace! "

Just made it so don't judge.

So a man is on a double date with his wife, best friend and the friend's new girlfriend. As the date progresses the girlfriend asked the man "how they met". "Well", said the man. "We met at grade 6 and we started talking, the more we talked the more we liked each others company." As he's telling her all these details and stories the wife just looks at him confused. Finally, after talking for several minutes he finishes with "I can't imagine how bad my life would be if we hadn't met" Awwww, the girl says. "I hope my marriage can be that happy one day." The man looks puzzled, grabs his wife's hand and says, "ohhhh you mean my wife?!"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bad marriage jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.