Bad Man Jokes
27 bad man jokes and hilarious bad man puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad man that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Man Short Jokes
Short bad man jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad man humour may include short bad guy jokes also.
- A man was brought to the ER badly injured from an accident. We're losing him! said a nurse. Not on my watch! said the surgeon, who clocked out and went home.
- A man says to the doctor: 'What's the good news?' 'You've got 24 hours to live. He says: 'What's the bad news? The doctor says: 'We should have told you yesterday.'
- My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher. No idea why the school hired him.
- What's the difference between iron man and aluminum man" Iron man stops bad guys. Aluminum man foils their plans.
- "What did you think of my new Fibonacci joke?" the man asked. "It was as bad as your previous two Fibonacci jokes combined," she taunted.
- Went to see the worst faith healer ever last night... He was so bad, a man in a wheelchair got up and walked out.
- Man offers a drink to a woman at a party. Woman: No thanks, whisky is bad for my legs.
Man: Legs? Thats strange, do they pain or swell?
Woman: No, they spread. - Whats the difference between a badly dressed man on a bicycle and a posh dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
- You woman gotta' realise, making us sleep on the couch ain't that bad... It's kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping. With an angry bear nearby.
- An old man went to the doctor The doctor says "I'm afraid I have bad news. You have cancer... And you have alzheimer's."
The old man says "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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Bad Man One Liners
Which bad man one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad man? I can suggest the ones about bad woman and bad boy.
- Man, if you thought No nut November was bad... Wait until No Net December.
- Why did Spider-Man's evil twin fail his driver's test? He was a bad parallel Parker.
- What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction? wong Wei
- What blood type does a man with bad spelling have? Typo
- Why is Spider-Man a bad boyfriend? He's super clingy.
- What do you call a fellow who is over 21 and makes bad puns? A groan man.
- Why is Santa Claus the happiest man? Because he knows the adress of every bad girl.
- Why was Pac-Man in a bad mood after coming home from a date?
- A man was shocked to find I'm a bad electrician.
- If I could be any super hero I'd be Aluminum man That way I could foil the bad guys
- My wife keeps saying that I'm not the man she married. I thought *my* memory was bad.
- What did the man with bad acid reflux say? Oh ma GERD
- What do you call a Chinese man with a bad internet connection? Hi Ping
- A man with bad vision fell into a well... He couldn't see that well.
- I feel bad for the man who died from drowning in oil. Such a crude way to die.
Ridiculous Bad Man Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about bad man you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean madman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad man pranks.
So it's bad manners for a person to talk with food in their mouth…
Is it also bad manners for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands?
What do you call a Kangaroo with bad manners?
Kangarude
Don't Do That In Public
A boy and his mother stood looking at a dentist's showcase. "If I had to have false teeth, I'd take that pair," said the small boy, pointing.
"Hush, w**...," interposed the mother quickly, shaking his arm. "Haven't I told you it's bad manners to pick your teeth in public?"
I have a message for the man who stole my thesaurus
You are a bad man. You did a bad thing and I hope bad things happen to you.
Good managers, bad managers.
Good managers help their staff learn to succeed.
Bad ones force their staff to learn to Excel.
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one.
Why do fish have such bad manners?
It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.
Why is Joker depressed?
Cause he fells bad man❗️
What did the refined oil say to the oil barrel with bad manners?
"Crude!"
Choose Wisely...
A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Not very nice, he thought.
Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.
Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in e**... and sipping coffee.
"Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door.
A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his head in and said, "Ok, coffee break's over, back on your heads!"
A rather bad man dies and meets Satan...
A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Not very nice, he thought.
Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door.
Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in e**... and sipping coffee.
"Of the three, this one looks best," he said and waded in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door.
A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his head in and said, "Ok, coffee break's over, back on your heads!"
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."
St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge."
Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon."
St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have s**... until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."
A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying.
"What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked.
"You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?"
Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
