Bad Horse Jokes
30 bad horse jokes and hilarious bad horse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad horse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Bad Horse Short Jokes
Short bad horse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad horse humour may include short racing horse jokes also.
- My favorite gambling event is horse racing, but I'm bad at it. No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster.
- A bad joke:- Why did the horse feel at home in front of an old couple? Because he found their relationship to be stable
- Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play.
- A cake in an oven Society needs to stop discriminating, we don't question a baker having a cake in the oven but as soon as I put 4 children and 2 horses in a volcano im the bad guy
- About 100 years everybody owned horses and only the rich owned cars Now everyone owns cars and only the rich own horses. How the stables have turned.
Edit : sorry for the bad pun - What did the cowboy say to JayZ?...If you havin' Car problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but my horse ain't one. #YeeHaw IG: @usmanimh
- My wife mistakenly told me she was leaving for her hometown Friday afternoon, staying a night, then coming back on Friday. Asking when she bought a horse named Friday was a bad idea.
Share These Bad Horse Jokes With Friends
Bad Horse One Liners
Which bad horse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad horse? I can suggest the ones about racehorse and horse mounted.
- Why was the horse comedian so bad at stand-up? He kept forgetting his bit!
- What's a bad name for a race horse? Paraplegic.
- Had a real bad Charlie horse the other day Had to take it out back and put it down
- Why was Caligula's horse Suetonius a bad senator? Because he always voted Neigh .
- A horse walks into a bar... Oh wait, it's just Sarah Jessica Parker. Sorry, my bad.
- Your father in law is so bad at chess... he traded a queen for a horse.
Happy Bad Horse Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about bad horse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dead horse jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad horse pranks.
Tom and Larry go to the movies
Tom and Larry go see a movie that features a horse race. Tom turns to Larry and says, "I'll bet you $20 that the white horse wins." Larry responds, "No way. I'll take that bet any day." Unfortunately for Larry, the white horse won. After the movie, Tom says, "you don't have to pay me. I'd already seen this movie, and now I feel bad about making the bet." Larry, looking very confused, replies, "well, so had I, but I didn't think he could do it again."
A New Yorker visits a Texan
The Texan shows the New Yorker around his place. "Howd'ya like it?", he asks.
"It's not bad", answers the New Yorker, "but I'll be honest, I expected you Texans to have larger places. The living room's too small, the master bedroom is small too, there is only one bathroom, and there isn't even a balcony."
"Hold your horses!" says the Texan. "We haven't even gotten outta the elevator yet!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar
And the bartender asked "why the long face?"
The horse said, well, it has been a really bad day. Around 10 years ago, I married a pony, the absolute love of my life. She just passed away at the hospital from t**... cancer. I'm on my way back home and I just came in for a few drinks to ease the pain.
The bartender felt horrible about the s**... joke he said earlier and apologized profusely.
The horse just shook his head and said don't worry about it. In all honesty, we should have caught the cancer much earlier. She was always a little horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of horses was making fun of a miniature horse who sounded weird because he had a sore t**....
One of the horses felt bad for the little guy, and said to his friends, "Leave him alone, he's just a little hoarse."
I played basketball with a friend yesterday
I played basketball with a friend yesterday and you know you're bad at basketball when you start off playing horse and end up playing pig... At one point we considered just playing Pi, but then it would last forever!!
Why did the horseman Pestilence, take his horse to the vet?
Because it was disease ridden.
Side note: I tried posting this awhile back and worded it badly, its original though i made it up while watching Supernatural.
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250.
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell any body he's dead.'
A month Later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars a piece and made a profit of $2495.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A ventriloquist goes to stay on a farm....
A ventriloquist goes to stay on a farm and is receiving a tour from the farmer,as they approach the first field full of horses the ventriloquist decides to have some fun with the farmer.
He walks upto a horse and says "so hows things on the farm?"
Throwing his voice and pretending to be the horse he replies "Yeah,not bad the farmer feeds us well and looks after us"
The farmer is absolutely speechless by this,
The ventriloquist walks off towards the next field which is full of sheep,
The farmer immediately runs after him in a state of panic shouting "DONT LISTEN TO THEM THEY ARE ALL LYING b**...!!"....
There was a white doctor in African village
After a while the local realised that some women had white babies. It didn't bother them much but they was curious about it for months. So after a while they decided to ask him and the leader went to the doctor with some fellas. They asked the doctor;
"Doctor, we don't have any trouble with it but we got to ask that you know some of our women gave born to white babies."
Doc answered "Yeah?"
"So we were curious about if you were related to it?"
Then doctor said "You know not always black people gave born to black babies. For example, there are white horses in the farm but they sometimes gave born to black baby horses.
Then the leader get shocked and shouted "Okay, you forget all about the horses, we forget women!"
Sorry for bad grammar
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bad Joke of the Day:
Why do horses make bad Congressmen?
Because they always say "neigh!"
A young man named Joe bought a horse from a farmer for £250.
The farmer agreed to deliver the horse within the next few days. A couple of days later, the farmer drove up to Joe's house and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.'
Joe replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've spent it already.'
Joe said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with it?
Joe said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't flog a dead horse!'
Joe said, 'Sure I can, Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month Later, the farmer met up with Joe and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse?'
Joe said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 apiece and made a profit of £2495.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Joe said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back.'