Bad Habit Jokes
74 bad habit jokes and hilarious bad habit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad habit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Habit Short Jokes
Short bad habit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad habit humour may include short nun habit jokes also.
- I found a new way to stop my girlfriend from picking up bad habits or doing anything that annoys me, I just have to say.. ..."this is turning me on"
- I saw a Nun with her clothes inside-out today... I asked her about it, and she said it was *a bad habit of hers*
- I have the bad habit of asking internet strangers for advice Do you guys have ideas on how I can stop doing this?
- A priest was scolding a nun for exposing herself to the congregation multiple times... She replied with: "I can't help it, I have a bad habit."
- My nun friend has started to wear holely clothes recently. I think she is getting into a bad habit.
- Ever year after Thanksgiving, I give up all my bad habits. I can do it, because I have lots of cold turkey.
- A nun teaching at a Catholic school frequently shows up to work in normal clothes because of how poorly-made the set of religious clothing she was given is. It's a bad habit.
- Define the lecturer Teacher to Student: Can you define the lecturer?
Student: A lecturer is person who has bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping. - Why did Bryan Cranston dress up as a priest and go around exorcising nuns' clothing? He was breaking bad habits.
- A drug addict and a nun So a drug addict walks up to a nun and sees that her clothes are ripped. He looks at her and says, "Sister, you have a bad habit."
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Bad Habit One Liners
Which bad habit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad habit? I can suggest the ones about habit and eating habits.
- What do you call it when a nun sins regularly? Bad habits
- What do you call a Nun that bites her nails? A bad Habit.
I'll see myself out. - Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit? It was a bad habit.
- I've got a really bad habit. It's telling people my flaws.
- Did you hear about the nun that bites her nails? You can say she has a bad habit.
- Why did the nun never change her clothes? It was a bad habit.
- Apparently Ive got a bad habit of correcting myself at the wrong moments I think *
- What does an alcoholic nun have? A bad habit.
- Why did the nun never wear her uniform? It was a bad habit.
- What do nun's get when buying cigarettes? A bad habit.
- What's something a nun can't shake off? A bad habit!
- Mother Teresa Cosplay It's a bad habit of mine
- So I heard a bunch of Nuns got caught stripping for cash.. They had bad habits.
- Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits. Its a deeply rooted issue.
- Did you hear the one about the smoking nun? She picked up a bad habit.
Bad Habit Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bad habit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad driving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad habit pranks.
A guy has a bad habit:
He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives.
So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't.
Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid.
Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help.
So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch.
They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street.
He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do deviant nuns have?
Big bad habits.
A man, a sheep and a dog were stranded in an island..
A man, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on an island.
After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze warm and gentle-a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was badly injured when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health. When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze-perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in, leaned over to the young woman and cautiously whispered in her ear, " Would you mind taking the dog for a walk? "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist
An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist evaluates their addictions and warns them, "If you indulge in your bad habit ONE MORE TIME, you will drop dead."
So the three men acknowledge his warning and leave the clinic.
As they walked down the sidewalk, discussing their fate, the Alcoholic proclaims, "I don't care what happens to me! I need a drink!" He runs into a bar, takes a shot of whiskey, and drops dead.
The s**... and gay guy--shocked that the psychiatrist was telling the truth--continue walking.
A few minutes later they see a full cigarette burning on the sidewalk. The s**... starts to sweat. And looks over at the gay guy. "I just need ONE MORE drag!"
The gay guy says, "Honey, if you bend down to pick that up, we're BOTH gonna drop dead!"
A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace...
Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed,
"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pregnant Woman
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of s**... his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop s**... his thumb, he'd get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"
At 31 years old, I decided to grow up, kick a bad habit and stopped biting my nails.
The nosebleeds are getting annoying, though.
Ever hear about the nun who was always spilling food on herself?
They say she's got a bad habit.
why did the nun take off her clothes?
she had a bad habit
What do you call a store that sells terribly made Nun appeal?
The Bad Habit.
Girls should eat bananas horizontally
So that they don't make bad habits
I'm desperately trying to stop sleeping with a lying, drug taking, foul-mouthed nun.
I'm finding it hard to quit the bad habit.
Husband Talks in Sleep
A woman asks a doctor:"My husband has a bad habit of talking in sleep!what should i give him to cure?"
"Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake",replies the doctor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A shabby looking Nun walks into a bar...
The barman takes one look at her, pulls out a shotgun and gives her both in the chest...
Aghast, I protest "Christ!? What the h**...'dya do that for?!"
With a look of regret he turns to me and whispers
"...bad habit."
I keep buying cheap nun costumes for fancy dress parties!
I need to stop, my friends keep telling me it's a really bad habit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I met a nun the other day, and she told me her pockets were full of c**....
I guess you could say she had a bad habit.
I wish I could develop a stronger habit of running every weekday...
Too bad it's already weakened.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I recently kicked a really bad habit
Some nuns deserve it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman enters in the doctor's office and starts explaining her problem...
"I have a very bad habit, every time I'm alone in a room with someone from the opposite gender, I cannot refrain from having s**... with him. What's my disease? Does it have a name?"
"Yes, answered the doctor while removing his belt, it's called great news."
My dog used to have a bad habit of chasing people on a bike
So we took it off her
Why were Android phones banned in Australia?
The customers had a bad habit of rooting them.
Regularly buying nun outfits on eBay,
It's a bad habit
I used to go around selling poorly made clothes to nuns...
But I've stopped, since I realized that it's a bad habit
Why was the nun chewing her hair?
Bad habit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I used to have a bad habit of k**... things.
Today, I finally kicked that habit.
wait
My New Years resolution is to exercise more
because the consequences of my bad habits have started to weigh on me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A nun keeps ripping her clothes while having s**... with prostitutes
It's a bad habit
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A hippo starts yelling at a man.
So this hippo was yelling at a man because the man was smoking. The hippo is actually a s**... himself though and because of his bad habit his lungs fail and he has to go to the ICU.
The whole situation was very hippo-critical.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied,
Its a bad habit
My son had a bad habit of drawing everywhere. First he started vandalising his toys, then the newspapers and eventually the furniture. But when he drew on the walls I had to stop him.
Because that's where I draw the line
For past 10 years my wife has been complaining to me about not putting the cap back on the toothpaste...
On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said:
Why did you stop brushing your teeth ?? !!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Church lady
There was a church lady who always was dressed very properly and always carried her bible with her. She had a bad habit of judging people and letting them know what she thought of them.
One day, she was riding on the crosstown bus and a drunk guy got on. There was only one seat left which was right next to the church lady.
She said to the man, you're a disgusting and smelly drunk. You're going straight to h**....
The man said Excuse me ma'am. I think I'm on the wrong bus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For past 20 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.
This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night, she turned and looked at me and said - "Why have you stopped brushing your teeth since a week ??"
Marriage is a social crime, I tell you.