Bad Guy Jokes

52 bad guy jokes and hilarious bad guy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad guy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Guy Short Jokes

Short bad guy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad guy humour may include short bad man jokes also.

  1. As a guy, I refuse to play as a female character in online games. Not because I'm sexist, I just don't think it's right to perpetuate the stereotype that girls are bad at game.
  2. Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?
    Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af
    Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car
  3. Chocolate is bad Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate cause it's not healthy!
    Guy: My grandfather lived 108 years.
    Taxi driver: Eating chocolate?
    Guy: No, minding his own business.
  4. It wasn't easy for the guy who invented the microphone in the beginning. He got some really bad feedback.
  5. What's the difference between iron man and aluminum man" Iron man stops bad guys. Aluminum man foils their plans.
  6. Movie Ratings Explained G: Nobody gets the girl.
    PG: The good guy gets the girl.
    R: The bad guy gets the girl.
    X: Everybody gets the girl!
  7. [Bad Pickup Line] I know I'm not the best looking guy here tonight... but I'm the only one talking to you...
  8. A guy limped into a Dairy Queen and ordered a banana split. The attendant began to make it for him and said "Crushed nuts?" And the guy said, No, I just have a bad knee."
  9. I've just been sacked as the weatherman at the local radio station Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
    That's it!! No more mist and ice guy.
  10. A pilot is making an announcement to his passengers "We got some good news, and some bad news. The good news is you guys will be on TV tonight!"

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Bad Guy One Liners

Which bad guy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad guy? I can suggest the ones about bad boy and villain.

  1. Guys, the USA is looking pretty bad... I think its time for USB.
  2. You know what makes the Antichrist a bad guy? He turns wine into water.
  3. "This is not fair!" said the Russian guy who got bad directions to the fair
  4. You guys thought 2020 was bad? Just wait for the sequel, 2022.
  5. A guy comes in a bar My bad, it's actually a horse.
    So a guy comes in a horse...
  6. If I could be any super hero I'd be Aluminum man That way I could foil the bad guys
  7. Why does aluminum make a great bad guy? Because it is easily foiled.
  8. What do you call a knight who's kind of a bad guy? Mid-evil
  9. What did the guy with bad internet get? Loading...
  10. What's got three thumbs and is bad at maths? THIS guy!
  11. John Wick stabbed a guy in the shoulder. He was left with a bad shoulder blade.
  12. Why are skeletons so bad at remembering things? C'mon guys, this is a no-brainer.
  13. What do you call a gay guy who gives bad blow jobs? A tooth fairy.
  14. What do they say about a guy with big hands and big feet? Two out of three ain't bad.
  15. Good guys finish last.. Because bad girls finish first.

Laughter Bad Guy Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about bad guy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad guy pranks.

h**... wasn't such a bad guy

After all he did kill h**.... Then again... He killed the guy who killed h**....

caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend.

I caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend, whom I had known since preschool. I can't believe they'd do this to me.
Listen, I'm not a bad guy. I'll grant you that my wife was upset that I was always beating her, and my best friend? He was simply jealous of how much money and property I had.
At my wit's end, I was so angry that when I caught them, I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

What Does Your Father Do?

It is the first day of kindegarten and the teacher is going around the room asking everyone what their father does for work.
1st Child: My dad is a policeman, he sends bad guys to jail!
2nd Child: My dad is a fireman, he puts out fires!
3rd Child: My dad is dead.
The teacher asks:
Well, what did your father do before he died?
3rd Child: Well, he went "AAAAKKKKKKKKK"

Everyone thinks..

Everyone thinks Jesus is soooo good, feeding an army with 3 loaves of bread and a fish.
h**...'s not such a bad guy, he made 6 million jews toast.

h**... was a bad guy... But then again he did kill h**....

But he also killed the guy that killed h**..., so...

me trying to impress my crush

I heard you like bad guys only
well, I am everything.
*winks with both eyes*

"The Best Way To Stop A Bad Guy With A Gun Is With A Good Guy With A Gun"

Is an excellent sales pitch for doubling your sales.

So the lone ranger and Tonto are being chased by the bad guys...

To see if they're being closed in on Tonto puts his ear to the ground to listen for the sound of horse hooves.
"Kimosabe, no soldiers chasing us, buffalo come."
"How do you know that?"
"Ear sticky."

Movie idea

There should be a hostage movie where instead of holding up a bank or skyscraper, the bad guy is a coworker who keeps asking questions at the end of a meeting.

Coworker: Why do bad guys always wear suspenders?

Me: So they don't get caught with their pants down.
(This happened a couple days ago, I was pretty proud. He legitimately was just asking the question)

Whats the difference between stormtroopers haveing a party and mushrooms being picked?

One's bad guys having a fun time the other ones fungi having a bad time!

Thor likes to bust in and beat up the bad guys...

His brother prefers to keep things low-key

Everyone says h**... was a bad guy

But he killed one of the worst dictators of all time so he can't be all bad.

A cake in an oven

Society needs to stop discriminating, we don't question a baker having a cake in the oven but as soon as I put 4 children and 2 horses in a volcano im the bad guy

Have you noticed how few robberies there has been lately?

Makes all the difference when it is not only bad guys wearing masks.

Now that everything has settled down, I must confess: I don't think Kevin Spacey is a bad guy

I think he just gets a bad Rapp.

Brett Ratner is not such a bad guy

had his lawyer came out and denied X-3 was directed by him back then.

Rule #1 the bad guys are always German. Even in Disney's Mulan she ended up...

... fighting the Hans.

Why does Willem Dafoe usually play bad guys?

If he didn't, he'd be Willem DaFriend

Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!

Once the A-Team used to take care of the bad guys.
Then came Chuck Norris.
Ever since, the A-Team has been known as the Ghostbusters.

Black Panther is a racist movie.

The only African American is the bad guy.

Superheroes dont kill bad guys...

They get turned into vegetables

*tips fedora at bad guy taking me hostage*


I don't think h**... was a bad guy.

I think he was Alt-right

h**... was a bad guy, but where did he go?

To Heil.

What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?


Why does the Illuminati have to be the bad guy all the time?

Why can't they just be the Illuminice?

It's Fathers Day At Kindergarten And All the Kids Are Supposed To Make Cards... (Fixed) drawing a picture of their father at work.
Teacher asks, "Logan, what does your father do?"
"My dad's a cop. I'm gonna draw him catching a bad guy."
Then the teacher asks, "Briei, what does your father do?"
Briei says, "My dad's a writer. I'm going to draw him with his new book."
Teacher gets to Little Johnny. "And what does your father do, Johnny?" The teacher looks at the card and is surprised to see it's a picture of a man stripping at a gay bar! Knowing better the teacher asks why he lied Little Johnny says, "My dad's the quarterback for The Vikings but i'm too embarrassed to tell that..."
The teacher faints.

The n**...'s weren't bad guys.

And I know I'm 100% r**... about this.

jokes about bad guy