Bad Friend Jokes
127 bad friend jokes and hilarious bad friend puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad friend that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Friend Short Jokes
Short bad friend jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad friend humour may include short mean friend jokes also.
- My friend is losing his mind over missing a piece of his 5000 piece puzzle If he thinks thats bad, I'm missing 4999 pieces
- Two best friends meet. "I have two bad news" says one to the other... "OK, combine them."
"Your wife is cheating on us." - I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.
- When I was a kid, I only had two friends and they were imaginary. It was too bad they only ever played with each other.
- BAD MATH JOKE TIME. For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two.
I went from 0 to 2π.
I went absolutely nowhere. - I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them.
- My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them... My friends tell me I have bad memory, but jokes on them...
- My friend does a weekly bad joke Tuesday... Today's was quite good (Bad?) Yesterday, I made a belt out of old watches. What a complete waist of time.
- My friend told me I have a really bad problem remembering names. I said, "who do you think I am, Alfred Einstein?"
- I asked a friend of mine what it was like being a herb farmer.... ...He said its not so bad and that he had a lot of thyme on his hands.
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Bad Friend One Liners
Which bad friend one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad friend? I can suggest the ones about bad boyfriend and bad neighbor.
- When they start with the punchline. How do you know if your friend is a bad comedian?
- I have a Chinese friend with really bad internet His name is Hai Ping
- I have some bad eye puns. But my friend's are cornea.
- My friend said I was bad at directions. So I got up and right.
- Friends are like family ...Too bad I'm an orphan.
- The bad weather kept my friend Edward from going to work today He's Snowden
- My glass friend is really bad at lying You could see right through him
- My friends say i'm really bad at bullseye. Guess im just missing the point of the game
- Sodium and Hydrogen should be friends. NaH, sounds like a bad idea
- I told my friend he had bad depth perception He said he'd look into it
- My friend had a bad experience with ice once He told me he was traumiticed
- My friend told me he's bad at math... I said me three!
- My friend said trepanning is a bad idea... ...but it's okay, he's just close-minded.
- Friends wave red flags when you have a bad idea. Real friends pick up a camera.
- I'm really bad friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. Except for your ex.
Giggle-Inducing Bad Friend Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about bad friend you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad relationship jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad friend pranks.
My marriage is over.
I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I've had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left.
I do feel bad about it all. But then I realised; I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bagpiper at a f**...
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a f**... director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's' cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.
I finally arrived an hour late and saw the f**... guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.
And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, and we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.
As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say;
"I NEVER SEEN NOTHIN' LIKE THAT BEFORE AND I'VE BEEN PUTTING IN SEPTIC TANKS FOR TWENTY YEARS."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gimme a triple shot of Jack
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another". The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having s**... with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say?"
The man says, "I told him, BAD DOG!! BAD DOG!!"
Old Joke From Bosnia
A boy rides up to his friend on his bike, he says "Look at me I can ride my bike!"
The friend says "Mhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again
Boy "Look I can ride with out using my legs!"
friend "Mmmhm"
Again the boy rides up again later that day
Boy "Look I can ride with out my legs or arms!"
friend "Mmmhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again on his bike
the boy says "Look I can ride without my teeth!"
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dog, Grandpa
The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.
That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:
Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.
I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.
Grandpa pooped in the living room again.
I had to put grandpa down today.
Grandpa ran away again.
I caught Grandpa h**... my friend's leg again.
And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.
you're all right
A friend of mine recently got into a really bad accident, they had to amputate his left arm and left leg. When I visited him in the hospital he was very upset, so I told him the important thing is you're all right. he looked me in the eyes, "how can I be all right" he lamented "when I have nothing left?"
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...
Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey s**..." in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the u**... came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."
My best friend slept with my girlfriend.
A man was sitting in a bar feeling depressed.
Bartender: Whats wrong man?
Man: I found my best friend in bed with my girlfriend...
Bartender:What did you do?
Man: I kicked her out of my house and broke up with her.
Bartender: No, what did you do to your best friend?
Man: I pointed my finger at him and said "Bad dog".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Grandma E-Mailed me this one
When you drink v**... over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink r**... over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends.
Two old ladies are sitting on a bench
Suddenly one of them smells something bad and asks her friend "Sylvia, doesn't it smells like a decayed carcass in here?...Sylvia...?Sylvia...?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young e**... to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
Baseball
A man, Tom was with his friend, Larry, Larry was about to die. "Let me know if there's baseball in heaven". said Tom. The next day as Tom was sleeping he woke up to Larry's voice.
"Tom, I have good news and bad news." "What's the good news"?
asked Tom. "There is baseball in heaven". explained Larry. "What's the bad news"? asked Tom "You're pitching Tuesday". said Larry
The Unluckiest Guy in the world
A huge guy is drinking in a bar with his friend, when suddenly he sees a dude who looks really depressed. He looks at his friend and goes, 'You see the guy that seems to be having a really bad day? Well I'm gonna make his day even worse'. So he walks up to the dude and drinks the glass that was in front of him. The dude suddenly breaks into tears and starts crying hysterically. So the guy is surprised and tries to calm him down: ' Dude relax! I was just messing with you. I'll buy another drink'. The dude wipes off his tears and goes, 'I just had the worst day of my life. My car broke down on my way to work so I had to take a cab. I forgot my briefcase in the cab and cost my company millions of dollars. They fired me and I owe them their millions. When I got back from work, I found my wife in bed with my best friend. After all that I decided to end my life with a glass of poison, and you didn't even let me do that!'
I was playing a quiet game of Scrabble with a friend
and he's a very sore loser. He was losing so badly, that he got extremely angry, picked up the bag and started throwing words beginning with 'th' at me.
I managed to dodge this, there and then. But I did not see that coming.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pregnant Woman
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of s**... his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop s**... his thumb, he'd get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Many times when I am troubled or confused...
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a v**... Martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
It's a real Challenger
When I was first introduced to the Kerbal Space Program, my spaceship kept blowing up. I looked at my friend and said "Wow, this game is a real Challenger!"
I am a bad person.
Getting Drunk
Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
He says, "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me."
His friend says, "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time, "You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself, you're disgusting..."
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, "Wait. It's not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He'd obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn't hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket."
She looks in his breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars."
"Ah, yes," says the man. "He peed in my trousers too!!!"
I think my friend Ben has a bad reputation.
Every time I tell someone that me and my other buddy are friends with Ben Ofitz, they give me a strange look.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend said he found a website that represents my s**... life.
I tried to look for it and an error came up saying, "404-Not found".
Strange, I must have a bad connection.
A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish
Who's your daddy?
A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."
a husband is about to die...
he goes out with his friends to give them the bad news. he tells them he has an announcement to make
-" i wanted to thank you guys for being there for me, i want to inform you that i have AIDS and i will die in a week. "
everyone was devastated cried and left with their heart a little broken.
when the man arrived home, he told his wife everything. after finishing she screamed:
-"AIDS! why did you tell them you have AIDS? you have cancer, not aids!"
the man turns to his wife and says.
-"im going to die, but im going to make sure no one goes to bed with you too".
My nun friend has started to wear holely clothes recently.
I think she is getting into a bad habit.
My friend loved to collect tractors but stopped after he had a bad accident in one. These days he helps the fire service by removing all the smoke from burning buildings...
...he is an ex-tractor fan.
Two guys are talking in a bar.
"My wife just left me for my best friend."
"Oh my! That's so bad! Since when was that dude your best friend?"
"Since he left with my wife."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends think I'm racist for wanting h**... to have finished what he started...
Is it really that bad that I like his art?
A man asks his friend to stop telling animal puns.
His friend says "Sorry, it's a bad rabbit I have."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cheating wife
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp.
"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must have happened". Yeah it did, he said.
"I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having s**... with my best friend." The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. "This one's on the house".
The dude gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife ? "
The guy answers "Yea, I walked up to her, told her to pack her bag's and get out !"
"What about your friend ?" asks the bartender. "I looked him straight in the eye and said bad dog.
My friend once said "Some bad Ideas are actually great" then proceeded to jump of a cliff.
My friend was right, my life has greatly improved now!
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys sit at a bar...
One says to the other "I've got really bad news."
"What is it?", the friend replies.
"I'm h**... positive".
"Really?!, that's terrible. Is there anything I can do?".
"Yea, can you tell your wife as soon as you get home".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I feel really bad for my Muslim friends
They keep b**... their exams
My friend felt bad after making an offensive cheese pun. But I didn't think anything of it.
It's not feta judge him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bill Cosby
Ask your friend "Would you have s**... with Bill Cosby." hopefully your friend says no then you respond with "Too bad you don't have a choice."
My friend had the worst case of onomatopoeia last week.
Don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw my friend JC with a s**... eye and asked him what happened..
He said he was having a really bad day coz he accidentally j**... himself in the eye while jerking off.
Basically he said "I came, eye sore."
I concurred.
Recently asked a friend, "What's the worst thing about being divorced three times?"
With some thought, he finally said, Well, all of them were pretty good house keepers...
How is that a bad thing? I wondered.
He replied, Every time I've divorced, they've kept my house.
I tried training for the Samaritans once.
But they told me I wasn't good at listening and I said "what?" and they said I wasn't good at listening.
-- This joke was made by a friend on facebook in the UK who currently has a really really bad time - homeless and suicidal. I found the joke really funny. Would be really nice if I could show him that he is actually a pretty funny lad and has reasons to continue living. (I'm 100% serious!!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Jews leave Russia
One goes to Israel and the other goes to Germany. When they get together a year later, one of them says,
"Abram, I'm doing great. I opened my own business in Haifa. The weather is nice, and everyone speaks my language!"
"You know, Khaim," says Abram. "I'm not doing too bad myself. I live in Munich and work in a crematorium. You won't believe it friend, but I'm actually burning Germans!"
A mother finds out she has cancer
A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."
We love Alcohol so much...
If something good happens, we drink to celebrate it.
If something bad happens, we drink to forget it and drown our sorrows.
If nothing happens, we drink to make things happen.
We need to do something about this problem my fellow friends, Please can we meet for a drink and discuss this?
Two carrots are walking together down the street,
One of them stepped onto the road and ended up getting run over by a car. The other carrot calls 911 and they take him to the hospital. After hours of waiting the doctor comes out
and says, "I have good news and bad news, the good news is your friend is going to make it, the bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life"
I asked my friend about his bad experience with Mexican food.
He said he didn't want to taco about it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I caught my wife having s**... with my best friend.
So I rolled up a newspaper and told him he was a bad boy.
My dying friend asked me not to joke about his health.
But I can't help it, I have a really bad sense of tumor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mathematician wasn't too confident about his appearance...
So he asked his friend to compare his good looks in terms he could understand.
After little thought his friend says: "You're about as good looking as you are bad looking."
"Well that's just mean."
Economy
My friend was helping me understand economics. He asked, what is something that would be good for the economy? I said, Chicken. He says yeah..ok, so what would be bad for the economy?
Me: If they breathed fire!
Today I walked in on my wife and best friend
It was bad enough that he never locks the bathroom door, but now she's doing it too!
My friend wanted to punch a stingray to avenge Steve Irwin
I tell him not all Stingrays are bad, you're being a total ray-cist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
did you hear about the mathematics w**... who was afraid of negative numbers?
his phobia was so bad that he will stop at nothing to avoid them.
dedicated to my special friend blader2601.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My parents don't understand my generation joking about committing s**... and said I wasn't allowed to...
Me: all my friends do it
Parents: if all you're friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too
Me: ok it's bad enough that you won't let me joke about it but you don't need to be a hypocrite
I played basketball with a friend yesterday
I played basketball with a friend yesterday and you know you're bad at basketball when you start off playing horse and end up playing pig... At one point we considered just playing Pi, but then it would last forever!!
Valentines day is here....
But i have nothing to be happy about ... things are so bad even my fantasies wanna be just friends.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend got arrested for saying he was an axe m**....
Turns out he's just a really bad guitarist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I CAME HOME EARLY FROM WORK ONE AFTERNOON AND FOUND MY WIFE AND BEST FRIEND HAVING i**....
I couldn't believe it.
I was in tears.
I could never trust her again.
I sent her away and told her to never return. It was over.
Still weeping, I sat on the bed next to my best friend.
I said, "bad dog".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard that my friend had s**... with his teacher.
Too bad he is home schooled.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Crude Dental Work (In Australian)
Man on island, has bad tooth. Needs tooth removed. Friend with an axe is like, I know what to do mate. Uses axe to try to remove tooth but unintentionally knocks out all his teeth. First guy is like, Ouch-aroo mate, that is a 10/10 on the pain scale. Axe guy says, 'Hey man, it was Axe-y Dental'
My friend asked me to stop making Math jokes
I said that I'm sorry, but bad jokes are my division
I was told some bad news last month. A good friend of mine had fallen into an upholstering machine and suffered terrible injuries.
The good news is he's now fully recovered
My friends wife left him last week..
She said she was going out for milk and never came back.
I asked him how he was coping.
he said,
"Not bad. I've been using some of that powdered stuff"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his n**... with a straight razor
He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the b**... to try it again.
I just witnessed my friend fall on the staircase, he was badly hurt so i came running and asked:
Are the stairs ok?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The doctor told him some bad news.
A few years ago a friend of mine tried to commit s**..., he had gone to the doctor for test results and found out he was dyslexic he was so upset he went outside and jumped behind a bus.
My friend was being bullied so badly at work that he started self harming -
I said "Mate, who's side are you on!?"
I bought my first brand new iPhone and I was so excited
My friends had been telling me how much they love their's but mine's been nothing but trouble from WiFi problems to dropped calls to rebooting out of nowhere. I'm starting to think my friends lied to me or maybe I just got a bad apple.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of horses was making fun of a miniature horse who sounded weird because he had a sore t**....
One of the horses felt bad for the little guy, and said to his friends, "Leave him alone, he's just a little hoarse."
