Bad Food Jokes
96 bad food jokes and hilarious bad food puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad food that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bad Food Short Jokes
Short bad food jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad food humour may include short bad fish jokes also.
- I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...
- Despite the pandemic, my family decided to get together for a big dinner this Christmas The food was bad though, didn't taste like anything
- My Brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.
We never played Monopoly again. - 1915-17 may have been the worst years in human history for food poisoning. 1.5 million Armenians died from bad turkey.
- Some would say that putting decorative soaps that look like food in their bathrooms is cute. But it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
- There was a recall on bird food but most places are offering a refund if you return it. It strikes me as odd that they would encourage you to give bad feed back.
- "New Years resoultion" I have been reading so many bad things lately about how all the bad things sugar and junk food could do to me, so my New Years resoultion is no more reading 😊
- Bad luck today, I have a bout of food poisioning AND I dropped my Galaxy Note 7 in the toilet by mistake :( Talk about explosive diarrhea.
- Did you know that food coloring is very bad for you? If you happen to drink too much you will dye.
- he's not all bad: after an 12 hour shift at a local food kitchen, mayor Rob Ford selflessly turned down a hot meal. "I've got more than enough to eat at home"
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Bad Food One Liners
Which bad food one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad food? I can suggest the ones about junk food and bad good.
- People say being a waiter is a bad job... ... but, hey, it puts food on the table.
- I had some bad middle eastern food yesterday I just felafel afterwards.
- I ate some bad Greek food now I falafel.
- They say fast food is bad for you... so I ate a sloth.
- My doctor told me to get rid of all the bad food in my pantry. It was delicious
- What food is bad for epileptic people? Seizure salad
- What kind of martial art does a chef do? Kung food
(Don't hurt me, I know it's bad) - What do you call bad Mediterranean food? Falawful.
- Airplane food is bad. In my experience, you need to be high to enjoy it.
- Why was the radioactive food going to taste bad? The meal would fallout of flavor.
- Never serve bad food at a bris Otherwise the rabbi won't leave a tip
- Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
- Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
- I fed chicken nuggets to my chickens. Bad idea. What a waste of food.
- If you've never eaten Ethiopian food don't feel bad Because they've never had it either
Hilarious Bad Food Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about bad food you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad produce jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad food pranks.
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died.
When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth.
She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard.
God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on.
The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy.
A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth.
Earth was no better for them than it was the cat.
They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people.
God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates.
One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven.
She explained that it was absolutely wonderful.
The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was Cinderella such a bad field hockey player? Her coach was a pumpkin.
Did you hear that Bon Jovi got food poisoning after eating that deer?
I guess you could say he had some Bad Venison
Why must you be careful when making Indian food?
Because you don't want to end up with bad Korma.
Not Going to Like Thursday
It's a convicts first day in prison. He's a young convict and he's crying. An older convict comes over and sits down. He says look it's not so bad here. For instance, do you like movies? The new guy says, "Yeah I love movies." Every Monday we have movie night, first run movie. Do you like Italian food? The new guy says, "Yeah I like Italian food." On Tuesday in the cafeteria, it is all Italian food. Do you like baseball? The new guy says, "I love baseball." Every Wednesday we have a pick up game and everyone plays even the guards, it is really fun. The old guy says, "One more question, are you by any chance a homosexual?" The new guy says, "no I'm not." Ah, you're not going to like Thursday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a convict's first day in prison
he's a young convict and here's there crying. An older convict sits down and goes, 'Look, calm down, prison's not such a bad place. Like, for instance, do you like movies?' And he goes, 'Yeah I like movies.' He goes, 'Every Monday we show a movie on the screen, first run movie.' He goes, 'That's great.' He goes, 'And you like baseball?' He goes, 'Yeah.' 'Every Tuesday we arrange a baseball game.' He goes, 'That's terrific.' And he goes, 'You like Italian food?' And he goes, 'Yeah I love Italian food.' He goes, 'In the cafeteria on Wednesday, it's all Italian food. Let me ask you one more thing. Are you a homosexual?' And he goes, 'No.' He goes, 'Eh, you're not going to like Thursday.'
Elderly Couple Go to Heaven Together
They both arrive at the pearly gates together and meet Saint Peter, who says "Let me show you around" He pointed to a mansion and said "That will be your house, located next to the country club." The old man asks, "and how much will that cost?" St Peter replies, "oh there's no charges, it's free, you're in heaven". He adds, "the country club has no fees or costs either" The old man is really happy by now and asks about food. St Peter says, "Although you don't need to eat, we do have full buffets with the very best pork, beef and poultry" The old man asks, "Aren't those bad for our health?" St Peter assures him, "You're in heaven now, there is no need to worry about your health."
The old man turns to his wife and smacks her upside the head. She says, "What was THAT for?" He answers, "If it wasn't for you and your bran muffins, we could have been here 30 years ago!"
Vow of Silence
Chap decides to to join a monastery. As a novice he is only allowed to speak two words to the prior, once every 7 years.
The first seven years go by and he whispers, "Cold floors..."
The next seven years go by and he whispers, "Bad food..."
Seven more years go by and he croaks, "I quit!"
The prior raises his eyebrows and replies, "I'm not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you joined."
What makes food go bad?
[bacteria](/spoiler)
Reasons to allow drinking at work
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The whiny monk
A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He can only say two words every five years.
After five years, Father Donald says to him, "Brother John, what do you have to say?"
He replies, "Bed hard."
Five more years go by and Father Donald asks him again.
He replies, "Food bad."
Another five years go by and Father Donald asks him again.
This time he replies, "I quit" at which point, Father Donald says, "Good! You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"
Ethnographic expedition lost in the Sub-Saharan Africa
An Ethnographic expedition lost in the Sub-Saharan Africa. The head of expedition, a prominent Russian scientist, Artem Pizdobolov, have bad news and good news to tell his comrades. First the bad news, he said. We run out of food and water. There left only camel's dung. Tell us a good news fellow travelers asked in desperation. The good new is that we have that camel dung in abundance.
A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...
The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."
Trying to be healthier, so I found a list of 10 foods I love that fight disease...
Too bad all of them were only good for fighting starvation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chatty Monk-A fine joke...
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. He's allowed to say only two words every 7 years. After the first 7 years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. He clears his t**... and says, "Bad food". They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass and they bring him in for his 2 words. "I quit," he says, "That's not surprising," the elders say, "You've done nothing but complain since you got here!"
Have you heard the joke about Whole Foods?
It was so bad it made me sustainably groan.
A man joins a monastery...
A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. Cold floors, he says. They nod and send him away, bringing him warm mats and rugs to pray and lie on. Seven more years pass, They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, Bad food. They nod and send him away, giving him finer bread and fish for every meal. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. I quit, he says. That's not surprising, the elders say. You've done nothing but complain since you got here.
We have ourselfs a bad idea!
I'm working in this supermarket with my Chinese friend Jet, when I notice that there are no cctv cameras down the tinned produce Isle, I ask jet if he wants to make a quick buck with me and steal some sealed boxes of tinned food from of the top of the shelving unit, he's in, but we can't reach without drawing attention to ourselves he said he's got an idea, the next day we meet up down the Isle and he pulls a fold up bench from inside his jacket, I put the bench down and climb up to the tins but it turns out, jets stool can't help steal beans!
Prison ain't so bad
A newly arrived prisoner is sitting in his cell when his cellmate, a lifer who has been inside for 20 years, walks in and sees that the young guy is distressed.
Lifer: Don't worry kid, prison ain't so bad. Do you like to work with your hands?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: Well,on Monday we get to work in the Arts and Crafts building. You can paint,do woodworking, pottery whatever.
NewMeat: O.k. that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Gourmet food?
NewMeat: Sure
Lifer: On Tuesdays a Chef comes in affixes anything you want to eat.
NewMeat: Sounds good
Lifer:Do you like movies?
NewMeat: Yeah
Lifer:Wednesdays we get to watch the latest films that are released to theatres.
NewMeat:Allright that's cool.
Lifer: Do you like Music?
NewMeat: Absolutely!
Lifer: Thursdays we get a concert from big name bands like U2 and Foo Fighters.
NewMeat: Wow!! that is cool!!
Lifer: Are you gay?
NewMeat: Uh, no I'm not gay
Lifer: Oh....... well you're not gonna like Friday's at all.
Ever hear about the nun who was always spilling food on herself?
They say she's got a bad habit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really bad.
A man goes into the doctor's office feeling really sick. After a thorough examination the doctor calls him into his office and says, "I have some bad news. You have HAGS."
"What is HAGS" the man asks.
"It's h**..., AIDS, gonorrhea, and s**...," says the doctor.
"Oh my God," says the man. "What are you going to do?"
"We are going to put you in an isolated room and feed you pancakes and pizza."
"Is that going to help me?" asks the man.
"No," says the doctor. "But it's the only food we can think of that we can slide under the door."
I don't know why people say food in the military is bad...
I was given a big chicken dinner!
How'd the stomach know the food went bad
It was a a gut feeling
you want to know what's my favorite food?
too bad. that's naan of your business.
Bad foods to eat
A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."
New inmate at prison.
A new inmate arrives at prison and he is visibly scared and nervous when he is approached by a veteran inmate.
"Hey man, it's not so bad here. Let me ask you something, do you like movies?"
"Yeah, I like movies."
"Great! Every Monday we have a movie night. Let me ask you something else. Do you like baseball?"
"Yes, I like baseball."
"Great! Every Tuesday we go outside and play baseball in the yard. Let me ask you, do you like Italian food?"
"Yes, I do."
"That's fantastic! Every Wednesday we have a pasta night. Now let me ask you one more thing. You aren't by any chance a homosexual, are you?"
"No. No, I am not."
"Ohhh...well you're not going to like Thursdays."
Researchers today said food cooked too long that turns to black produces high levels of acrylamide, a cancer risk.
And I just thought my wife was a bad cook.
What kind of food just puts you in a bad mood?
Feel-awful
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been reading so much about the bad effects of smoking, drinking, junk food and s**... that ..
I've finally decided to give up reading
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I feel really bad about choosing food over s**... with you.
In fact, I falafel.
Don't know how to cook
I don't really know how to cook, so I just end up eating frozen food. I usually get some turkey and store it in the freezer for the next day. However, one day I've heard about the dangers of eating frozen food and how it badly affects my health, it was at this moment that I realized that I had to quit cold turkey.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A d**... dies of food poisoning.
Why? Bad korma.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Prison is like a Children's party...
...bad food, worse s**....
I asked my friend about his bad experience with Mexican food.
He said he didn't want to taco about it.
What does a one night stand and cooking bad Chinese food have in common?
Both end in a wok of shame
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old Soviet man goes for Rations...
An old Soviet man goes to the butcher to stand in line for his daily ration of meat. Lamenting the long wait, he finally reaches the front of the line, only to be told they had run out. Infuriated, he turns to his comrade.
"How can we be expected to survive without food? This is b**...!"
The other man turns to him and says "Careful friend, they used to shoot people for talking like that."
The Old Soviet trudges home to his wife to deliver the bad news. Standing in the doorway, she asks "Did they run out of meat again Ivan?"
He replies "No, worse. They ran out of bullets."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between l**... sold by an overweight transgender person and a food that raises bad cholesterol?
Nothing. They're both **trans fatty acid**.
I went up to a homeless man sitting on a bench in the town centre today with a cup of coffee for him.
I sat next to him and asked how he'd got in this position. He said to me "You know, three weeks ago I had it all, my own accomodation, a cook, good food, the internet,TV, I used to go to the gym,to the swimming pool, the library, everything" I replied, "Blimey, that's a bit rough, what happened, bad luck, divorce,drugs,alcohol problems"? He said "Na, I got released from prison"
There are two bad-for-you items on the shelf disguised as health food.
One looks at the other and says "act natural".
Why does the healthiest food taste so bad?
It doesn't your just fat
As a kid growing up in the Vietnam I could always tell how well the economy was by what type of dog food my parents bought.
Chihuahua when it was bad, Black lab when it was good.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
WHAT DO YOU CALL RACCOON WHO ATTEMPT TO MATE WITH GARBAGE BAG
THIS IS VERY BAD. TO THIS RACOON YOU MUST SAY "DO NOT PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD."
h**... h**... HEE HEE
The good news about going to the movies with your mom is that she's going to be good at sneaking in food...
the bad news is that it's always going to be a little quinoa.
My girlfriends vegetarian food isn't too bad
But I think it would taste better if she just put some soul into it..
I had to go to the doctors because I grew antlers after eating Mexican food...
He told me it was a bad quesadilla.
My wife had to cook to the first time the other day.
The food smells so bad, that all the flies in the neighborhood pitched in and bought us a screen door so they couldn't get back in.
Bad Diet
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami, Florida.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old man in the front row, raised his hand and said, "Wedding Cake?"
3 man in heaven
3 man are in a house in heaven. There is one rule, if you step on a pink cloud something bad will happen to you.
They are all hungry and one person decides to get some pizza. He comes back with a ugly woman. The other look at eachother confused and asked what happened. The man with the ugly woman says that he stepped on a pink cloud.
The second man decides to get some food, but also comes with a ugly woman and says that he stepped on a pink cloud.
Than the third man goes and tries to get some food. But this time he comes back with the most beatiful woman. The other two are very confused and ask what happened. The beatiful lady says that she stepped on a pink cloud.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You've got to be careful while making jokes about Pakistani food on Reddit.
You don't want to end up with bad Korma.
I saw a boy eating the grass between the cracks in the curb
I went up to him and said "don't eat the grass, it's bad for you"
He looked at me and said "I haven't had any food for the last 3 days. This is all I can find"
I told him to get up and to come over to my place to get him a better meal
He stopped and said "well, my sister, she hasn't eaten in 3 days either"
I thought for a second and went, "hmm I don't know, I don't really have a very big lawn"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So it's bad manners for a person to talk with food in their mouth…
Is it also bad manners for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands?
4th of July picnic
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was your 4th of July picnic?" the bartender asks. "Horrible. Everyone came down with food poisoning," the guy replies. "I knew the hot dogs might have gone bad, but turns out the brats were the wurst."
An Englishman, Frenchman and a Soviet go to an art exhibition.
They come to a marble bust of Adam and Eve. The Englishman says "Look at their calm repose, their stiff upper lip. They must have been English."
The Frenchman says "Look at their nakedness, their natural artistic beauty. They must have been French."
The Soviet goes "No no. They have no food, no water, no clothes and no shelter, and they're told they live in a Paradise. They're obviously Russian!"
Joke best told with very bad accents
