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Bad Fishing Jokes

49 bad fishing jokes and hilarious bad fishing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad fishing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Bad Fishing Short Jokes

Short bad fishing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad fishing humour may include short bad fish jokes also.

  1. What do you call a girl who catches fish? Anette.
    ^^^^Just^thought^of^this^i'm^sorry^it's^bad..
  2. Only a bad chef blames his tools, Jeremy.. Yeah, but trying to fillet a fish with a spoon just doesn't quite cut it.
  3. I thought my publication about fish living on land would be a big hit Too bad it was just a flop
  4. I'm seeing a lot of heaven related jokes, so here's a bad one to lower every bodies expectations- What do angles fish for in heaven?
    Holy mackerels
  5. What did they originally call pro fishing before they realized how bad it sounded? Answer: Master-baiting
  6. Quentin Tarantino went fishing, and he almost landed a pretty good catch. Unfortunately, it got away because his footing was extremely bad. Seems he was slipping in glorious bass turds.
  7. Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
    The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
  8. I had fish yesterday... It was so bad that it almost pulled a gun and tried to steal my wallet.
  9. Everyone thinks.. Everyone thinks Jesus is soooo good, feeding an army with 3 loaves of bread and a fish.
    h**...'s not such a bad guy, he made 6 million jews toast.

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Bad Fishing One Liners

Which bad fishing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad fishing? I can suggest the ones about fishing and caught no fish.

  1. Why do fish do bad in school? They are below the C level
  2. Why are DJ's so bad at fishing? Because they're always dropping the Bass.
  3. Why are djs so bad at fishing? They always drop the bass
  4. Why was the movie about fly fishing a box office flop? Bad casting.
  5. Why was the EDM producer bad at fishing? Because he kept dropping the bass
  6. No one can beat this bad joke A snake, a snail and a fish walked into a bar
  7. Why are fish bad at basketball? They are afraid of the net
  8. Why was the musician bad at fishing? Because he didn't know how to tuna fish
  9. There are a lot of fish in the sea. Too bad I'm human.
  10. Why did the fish have bad report cards? Because all his grades were under the "C."
  11. Why do fish have such bad manners? It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.
  12. Why are tuna fish so bad a playing Tennis? They keep getting caught in the net!
  13. Give a man a fish.. C'mon..give it... bad doggy..
  14. What do you do when your fish sounds bad? Tune-a-fish!
  15. why are dubstep artists so bad at fishing? They always drop the bass

Heartwarming Bad Fishing Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about bad fishing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fly fishing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad fishing pranks.

3 bad dad jokes

I use these back to back to back all the time.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH

Charlie the Street Car Conductor

Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."

Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference"

Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: Ah i knew you'd get stuck on that

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.
As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.
"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such bad breath."
"Come to think of it," said Carl, "I don't remember him wearing ice skates either."

Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."

Three fishermen

Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.
Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.
"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"
"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.
Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"
Big Catholic news, the Pope recently stated that it is possible for atheists to go to Heaven. However, what he didn't say is once they get there, they have to spend all eternity helping Buddha squeeze into his yoga pants.
In entertainment, "Fast and Furious 6" critics say the film did not live up to the hype. Especially when the first 45 minutes of the film were Vin Diesel sitting in his Dodge Neon scanning Tokyo radio for a Limp Bizkit station.
Bad news, a m**... tax bill stalled in Colorado. Glossy-eyed congressmen promise they'll finish the bill as soon as this rad 'Stairway' solo is over.
In a recent speech, Biden hinted that government research is often wasteful. Such as Biden's $3 million study on if he saw Bigfoot getting the paper yesterday or just Sarah Palin before her morning shave.
And finally some science news. A recent marine study found that fish can use sign language. However, what was more surprising was the terrifying gang signs used by the east L.A. river fish crew, "Gills that Kills".
Thanks for reading! Been pretty busy lately so I'm making sure I produce some material for you guys to check out.

Little jimmys mom told him that if he ever did a bad thing as punishment he would turn to stone....

One day jimmy went down to the pond with him friend Billy to fish when they saw a beautiful woman n**... swimming in the pond the two kids watched in awe when suddenly jimmy ran away scarred
Jimmy ran home to his mom crying saying "sorry I did a bad thing!" "What did you do asked jimmy's mom?" Jimmy wiped away a tear and said "I saw a n**... lady in the pond and I got scarred because I started to feel like I was turning to stone so I ran."

A man joins a monastery...

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. Cold floors, he says. They nod and send him away, bringing him warm mats and rugs to pray and lie on. Seven more years pass, They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, Bad food. They nod and send him away, giving him finer bread and fish for every meal. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. I quit, he says. That's not surprising, the elders say. You've done nothing but complain since you got here.

Two twins, Tom and Harry.

There were two twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Harry's wife died the same day Tom's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible.
Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle
The old woman fainted hearing all this.

jokes about bad fishing