Bad Eyesight Jokes

22 bad eyesight jokes and hilarious bad eyesight puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad eyesight that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Eyesight Short Jokes

Short bad eyesight jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad eyesight humour may include short bad vision jokes also.

  1. A musician with bad eyesight goes to an optician "How can I help you?
    "I need something to help me C-sharp"
  2. I have bad eyesight, so I got my car's rear-view mirror specially made. Hindsight's 20-20.
  3. If I stopped looking at my phone all the time and started to put that time into more important things like.... My computer with a bigger screen, then my eyesight wouldn't be as bad
  4. What's the difference between a s**... with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh*t
  5. What's the difference between a s**... with bad eyesight and a constipated owl? One shoots but doesn't hit and the other hoots but doesn't s**....

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Bad Eyesight One Liners

Which bad eyesight one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad eyesight? I can suggest the ones about eyesight and blindness.

  1. Why do kindergarten teachers have bad eyesight? Because their pupils are small.
  2. Family asked me to go see a doctor about my bad eyesight. I couldn't see him.
  3. This is going to be my last year with bad eyesight. Next year will be 2020.
  4. My doctor says I have bad eyesight I can't really see it
  5. Why do Java developers have bad eyesight? Because they can't C#
  6. What do you call a film director with bad eyesight? Squintin' Tarantino

Bad Eyesight Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bad eyesight you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blinded eye jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad eyesight pranks.

The two old-timers...

...were having a chat over the back fence.
"You know, Chester," said one, "you should invest in some heavier curtains for your bedroom window."
"Why's that, Clem?"
"Because the ones you have now are kinda transparent. In fact, last night I could see you making love to your wife."
"Pfft! That shows how bad your eyesight is. I wasn't even home last night!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, A Spaniard and a German go to the theater to watch a mime show.

The men have bad eyesight so they are squinting through the whole performance.
The mime sees their problem and stops the show and moves them to the front row. He then ask, "Can you see me now?"
The men Respond:

A woman looks at herself in the mirror in disgust.

Woman: I feel really horrible. Look at me, old, fat and ugly. I think I have lost my charm.
Man: Hmmm, well it isn't all bad.
Woman: What do you mean?
Man: At least you have perfect eyesight.

A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn't believe him.
So he sent her a picture of his top half.
A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half.
Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn't think much of it.
A week later his grandma wrote a letter saying, that she didn't like his haircut, because it made his nose look too big.

My Sight

A 90 year-old man who had played golf every day since his retirement 35 years before, arrived home furious and said to his wife, "That's it! I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball, I can't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes and say, "Why don't you take your old mate Kevin, and give it one more try."
"That's no good" he said. "Kevin's 103. He can't help."
"He may be a 103, but his eyesight is perfect," replied the wife.
The next day, he took Kevin to the golf course. He tees, takes a mighty swing and squint down the fairway, then turned to Kevin and said, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did" replied Kevin. " I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?" he asked.
"Where did what go?"