Bad Engineering Jokes
16 bad engineering jokes and hilarious bad engineering puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad engineering that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Engineering Short Jokes
Short bad engineering jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad engineering humour may include short bad science jokes also.
- What do good w**... dealers and bad engineers have in common? Both know not to use what they sell
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Bad Engineering One Liners
Which bad engineering one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad engineering? I can suggest the ones about bad math and bad driving.
- Why do women make bad engineers? Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8
Witty Bad Engineering Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about bad engineering you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad medical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad engineering pranks.
Translated Chinese joke
Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!
Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off
Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out
Bad news: The parachute failed midair
Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him
Bad news: The top of the haystack is smeared with s**...t
Good news: He didn't land on the s**...t
Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either
Four engineers riding in a car -
it stalls. Mechanical engineer suggests a timing problem. Electrical engineer says bad spark. Chemical engineer offers poor fuel mixture. The computer engineer has no idea but "If we get out the car and get back in it may start
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
Italian Computer Repair shop
Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop, the computer explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it brief" so I said "Bad-a-Bing, Bad-a-boom!"
Italian Computer repair store
Everytime I try to use Microsoft's search engine on my Italian laptop it explodes. I took it to my Italian Computer repair store. The Italian repairman said "What seems to be the problem? Please keep it short" so I said "Bad-a-Bing Bad-a-boom!"
A woman is urgently rushed to hospital by her brother to give birth to twins.
In the hospital, she gives birth to a boy and a girl. She loses consciousness shortly after.
A few hours later, she wakes up with a doctor standing over her. She asks "Where are my children?"
The doctor replies "They're in the next room with your brother. He said you wouldn't mind if he named them."
Alarmed, the woman asks "What did he name them? He's a data engineer, you see, so I'm worried he might have chosen some...technical names."
"It's okay," assures the doctor. "He named your daughter Constance."
"Well, that's not too bad," the woman sighs. "What did he name my son?"
"Variables."
j**... is that you?
said Tom.
j**... - "Oh my god, Tom! I haven't seen you since college!"
Tom - "Yea it's been a while, how are things?"
j**... - "Not bad, I think I've done pretty well for myself. I ended up finishing that Bachelor's of Fine Arts and spend my time painting. I love it, wouldn't give it up for the world! How bout you? You end up finishing your degree?"
Tom - "Yep, Software Engineering. I make a pretty comfortable living and it's rewarding work. I can't believe it, it's been so long. It was great catching up with you."
j**... - "It was, it was. Just one last question."
Tom - "Shoot."
j**... - "Would you like fries or onion rings with your burger?"
Tom - "Fries."
Air Force One crashes in a field..
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left, smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath.
"Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out, "the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning." "President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked. "Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"He kept a-saying he wasn't . . . But you know how bad that sumbitch lies.
A large plane crashed...
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left, smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath.
"Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out, "the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning." "President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked. "Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"He kept a-saying he wasn't . . . But you know how bad that sumbitch lies.
Air Force one goes down.
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left, smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath.
"Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine. Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out, "the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning." "President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked. "Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.
"He kept a-saying he wasn't . . . But you know how bad that sumbitch lies.
Jewish sense of humor
Abe and Esther Goldberg were flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we are going to attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and we will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives."
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later, Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our charity pledge check to Beth Shalom Synagogue yet?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the c**... landing, then asks,
"Esther, did we pay our United Jewish Appeal pledge?"
"Oy no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.
One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send a check for the Synagogue Building Fund this month?," he asks.
"God forgive me, Abie," begged Esther, "I didn't send that one, either."
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest hug and kiss ever in their 40 long years of marriage.
Esther pulls away and asks him, "So, why do you kiss me?"
Abe answers, "They'll find us!"
A plane is going down...
An airplane of holiday makers is flying over the pacific when the engine fails and takes a nosedive. Everyone dies except for 3: two guys and one girl. They wash up on a beach of a deserted island and set about building a fire, fishing, making a shelter etc. When the sun goes down and they are bored there is only one thing to do, so they do what comes naturally to them . . .
This set up continues untill the girl gets sick, soon after she dies. The two guys are alone. So at night they continue doing what comes naturally to each other . . .
But after a few weeks they feel really bad about doing it so they bury her. . .
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the c**... landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"
"Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.
"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn’t send that one, either."
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"
Abe answers, "They’ll find us!"