Bad Electrical Jokes
17 bad electrical jokes and hilarious bad electrical puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad electrical that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Electrical Short Jokes
Short bad electrical jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad electrical humour may include short electrical jokes also.
- Things are pretty bad right now Van Diesel was forced to change his name to Van Electric due to increasing gas prices.
- A man steals and crashes a train and is then given the electric chair, but nothing happens. guess he was a bad conductor
- Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair? Because they're bad conductors.
- Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair? he was a bad conductor.
- My friend was a pretty good guitarist But that one time he stepped in a puddle while playing his electric guitar on an old, badly grounded amp, he became a great conductor.
- A conductor kissed a g**... the bus He was arrested and the police gave him electric shocks but it had no effect.
Because he was a bad conductor.
Sorry guys. - I'm so get at s**...... that after every session, my wife has to go in the bathroom and turn on her electric massager. I think its because of her bad back?
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Bad Electrical One Liners
Which bad electrical one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad electrical? I can suggest the ones about electrical wiring and electrical wire.
- When I found out it's a bad idea to do your own electrical wiring, I was shocked
Bad Electrical Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bad electrical you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean electrical engineering jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad electrical pranks.
Four engineers riding in a car -
it stalls. Mechanical engineer suggests a timing problem. Electrical engineer says bad spark. Chemical engineer offers poor fuel mixture. The computer engineer has no idea but "If we get out the car and get back in it may start
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
Train conductor
A train conductor is making sure he stamped everybody's ticket when a man try's to get on the train without a ticket. Too stop him the conductor swings his suitcase hitting the man on the head killing him. The conductor has to go to the electric chair. When they turn it on it doesn't do anything. They ask him what happened and he simply said "I'm a bad conductor."
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!
1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2 TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT- USE THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – OIL AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE OIL. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.
Once there was this cruel maestro.....
He was very cruel and bad. Once as he was backing up his car, he rode over a little girl, killing her, but he didn't care. He was caught and sentenced to death by the electric chair. He was seated in the chair, the switch flipped, he was electrocuted, but amazingly he didn't die. So he was let to live.
After some days as he was backing up his car yet again, he hit another girl killing her instantly. But he didn't care. Again he was caught and sent to the electric chair, he didn't die and let to live.
But now the maestro was a changed man, he left his cruel ways and decided to follow the path of good. But to his bad fortune as he was again backing up his car, he accidentally hit a girl. He rushed her to the hospital but the girl died. Again he was sent to the electric chair, but this time, he died.
Do you know why?
Because at first a bad conductor and the electricity didn't kill him, then he became a good conductor.
Bad orchestra director
An orchestra conductor walks in on his wife cheating on him with his principal violinist. She confesses, "I haven't loved you for a while now. It's your job - you're a lousy conductor."
In a crime of passion, he shoots them both dead.
At his m**... trial, he's found guilty and sentenced to the electric chair. He's strapped in, the switch is thrown, and... nothing. Confused, the executor flips the switch back and forth a few times and shrugs. Turns out his wife was correct; he's a bad conductor.
Three men waited patiently for their babies to be born...
One was a black man, another was a m**..., and the final was a southern r**.... From the maternity ward, they hear their wives cry in the final push to give birth, but just then all the lights go out. There's a huge commotion and finally after several minutes the lights come back on. The head obstetrician comes out to speak to the new fathers.
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your wives are just fine, and you each have a brand new baby boy. The bad news is that with the loss of electricity and all the commotion of childbirth, we sort of lost track of which baby is which. The only thing I can think of to do is let each of you go in and choose the baby you think is yours."
The southern r**... speaks up, "Well, i want to go first. I just won't have it any other way!"
The r**... goes in to view the newborns, and comes out a moment later with a black baby.
The black man protests, "Hey, you know that's not your baby!"
The r**... replies, "Maybe so, but at least I know it's not a d**... m**...!"