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Bad Driver Jokes

99 bad driver jokes and hilarious bad driver puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad driver that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Driver Short Jokes

Short bad driver jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad driver humour may include short bad driving jokes also.

  1. Cop pulls over bad driver Cop- sir do you realize how badly you were switching lanes?
    Guy- sorry officer, I'm drunk af
    Cop-that's not a valid reason to let your girlfriend drive the car
  2. Chocolate is bad Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate cause it's not healthy!
    Guy: My grandfather lived 108 years.
    Taxi driver: Eating chocolate?
    Guy: No, minding his own business.
  3. I'm not saying that Asians are bad drivers... But I'm beginning to think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.
  4. I had a really bad day. First, my ex got run over by a taxi. Then I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
  5. I heard the government were going to give on the spot fines to bad drivers I thought that's a bit sexist.
    Cr
  6. My computer kept crashing It turns out I had a bad driver.
    I just came up with this tonight but I can totally see the joke having been come up with before, so if it has please let me know.
  7. I'm not saying that I'm a bad driver... But when I drive, my sat nav doesn't speak, it prays in Latin.
  8. My dad always taught me to go the extra mile... I guess that was pretty bad advice though - it just got me fired from my job as a taxi driver.
  9. Why cant train drivers be sentenced to the electric chair? Because they're bad conductors.
  10. A guy watches as his girlfriend struggles to park. he says to her "I think you should get tested." "why" she says I'm no that bad of a driver am i?" "No, I have chlamydia" he replies

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Bad Driver One Liners

Which bad driver one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad driver? I can suggest the ones about dangerous driver and drunk driver.

  1. Why did Spider-Man's evil twin fail his driver's test? He was a bad parallel Parker.
  2. Asian Drivers Are So Bad... that I wouldn't be surprised if Pearl Harbor was an accident
  3. Today was a bad day My ex got hit by a car and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
  4. Where do taxi drivers with bad skin go for treatment? The Taxi Dermist.
  5. why should you never buy a Asian graphics card? bad drivers.
  6. Why is Hellen Keller a bad driver? She's dead
  7. Asians aren't bad drivers. They're just disoriented.
  8. What makes a man a bad driver? Female GPS.
  9. A bad uber driver drove from New Zealand to Australia. He got two stars.
  10. Why was Hellen Keller such a bad driver? She was a woman.
  11. Asian people are such bad drivers They keep Korean off the road
  12. What happens when Korean dictators are bad drivers? Kim car-dashing
  13. Why Did The Bad Driver Cross The Road? Because He Forgot His Seatbelt
  14. I saw a BMW driver use his turn signal today... Too bad it was the wrong one.
  15. Why are newborns bad drivers? ... because they only know how to go full swaddle.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bad driver can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bad driver puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

The Funniest Bad Driver Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about bad driver you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean backseat driver jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bad driver prank.

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know,it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my sat nav said, "In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out."

Taxi Story

A true story from the pages of the Manchester Evening Times . . .

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Salford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab.
I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."

A guy walks into a bar...

... sits down next to an older man and downs his drink. The older man looks up at him with a sad look on his face, the younger man says, "Sorry, I just really need to get something in my system, I'll buy you another one."
The older man replies, "No, it's fine, I just had a really bad day."
"You want to tell me about it?"
"Well, I forgot to set my alarm, so I woke up late for work. When I got there, my boss fired me on the spot. When I was walking back to my car, someone totaled it an drove off. I got a taxi and went home. After I got out of the taxi, I realized I had left my wallet in the back seat and the driver just drove off. I walked in the door to find my wife with another man. I tried to contact a few friends to ask if I could stay with them for a few days, but it turns out none of them like me. So I came here, and just as I decide I'm going to end it all, you come in and drink my poison."

Really bad day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

And you thought you were having a bad day . . .

There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.
The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink the poison."

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 MPH.

Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over. Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.
The driver obviously confused said, "Officer, I don't understand, I wasn't doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer said, "you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous". "Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour", the old woman said proudly.
The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error. "Before I go Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone OK?
These women seem badly shaken and haven't uttered a word all this time" "Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142."

Why are women bad drivers?

They don't know how to judge what 7 inches is.

The Taxi man.

Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for the airport leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the living daylights out of me."
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."

I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer c**...?

It had a bad driver!
**bows **
I'll show myself out.

Why is Adolf h**... a bad driver?

Because he is dead.

!!BAD DRIVERS!!

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "**David, be careful!** I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"
David says, "I know, but there isn't just one, **there are hundreds!**"

Brain Transplant

Heard this joke from a gregarious bus driver in Yosemite:
A man at the hospital is discussing his condition with the doctor. The doctor says:
"So we have some good news, and some bad news."
"Ok... What's the bad news?"
"Your brain is busted. You're gonna need a new one."
"Alright. So what's the good news?"
"You have some options to pick from. First option is a lawyer's brain. This one is expensive. It'll be $5,000."
"Well. A lawyers brain. That's pretty good. What's the next one?"
"Second option is a doctors brain. That's even more expensive. It costs $10,000."
"Wow. $10,000! But a doctor's brain. That's even better. So what's the third option?"
"The third option is a busdriver's brain. And that one is $50,000."
"$50,000!?? Why is it so much??"
"Because that one has never been used. It's like brand new! Fresh outta the box"

Why are Asians such bad drivers?

Because you can blind them with dental floss

Is it a coincidence that as soon as Bruce Jenner turns into a female, that she becomes a bad driver?

Too soon?

Do you know why the self driving car crashed?

It had a bad driver.

Two drivers play a game of chicken

Too bad they were train drivers.

I heard they were going to fine bad drivers $100 on the spot.

That's bit sexist, isn't it?

I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer c**...?

Because it had a bad driver!
*drops mic*

You know you are a bad driver when.............

you see more middle fingers than a manicurist.

I've had a really bad day.

First, my wife got ran over by a bus.
Then, I lost my job as a bus driver.

Why are women such bad drivers?

Because they are constantly lied to about what 8" is.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors.

The frightened taxi driver

Last week a passenger in a taxi heading for the Boston airport, leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was quiet in the cab.
Then, the shaking driver said, "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, " I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly"
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault."
"Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."

Why did the hard drive c**...?

Because it had a bad driver.

What do you call a really bad driver in France?

A woman.

Why are Asians such bad drivers?

Because fried rice can make you drowsy.

Why did the computer c**...?

It had a bad driver

Asian drivers are so bad

that some speculate that Pearl Harbor might have been an accident

Dwarf Incident

I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

As an Asian male, I'm offended by the stereotype that we're bad drivers and have small p**....

I am an excellent driver.

What's the difference between OP's dad and bad drivers?

Bad drivers pull out when they shouldn't.
OP's dad doesn't pull out when he should

Why are women such bad drivers?

Because there is no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.

A driver is stopped by the police...

The officer says:
-Congratulations! You are the 100th person who has remembered to use a seatbelt today, and therefore you have won $1000. What will you spend the money on?
Driver:
-Well, a driving license I think?
The passenger sitting next to him hurries to say:
-You should not listen to him, he's drunk!
A sound is heard from the back seat:
-I knew stealing a car was a bad idea.
At the same time, a foreign accent is heard from the trunk:
-Have we passed the border yet?

I rear-ended another car this morning.

I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a really bad day.
The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it!
He was a dwarf!! He looked up at me and said, "I am 'Not Happy.'
So I said, "Well, then, which one are you?"
And, that's how the fight started.

My town's public works department is so bad that police has trouble picking drunk drivers up

Everybody is swerving around the potholes

I was fired from a pizza place only 6 hours in.

They said I was a bad delivery driver, but could they know? I hadn't even delivered my first order yet.

Asians are such bad drivers...

I'm beginning to wonder if Pearl Harbor wasn't just one big accident.

There are 3 types of bad drivers: Asians, old people...

and old Asian people

My dad is a bad driver. He has had a lot of accidents.

He still hasn't learned how to pull out.

Blonde in a field.

A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"

A priest and a bus driver stand outside the gates of heaven.

God lets the bus driver in, but denies entry for the priest. The priest exclaims:
-Why was that man let in? He gambles, drinks, sheats on his wife and is a bad father figure to his kids.
I on the other hand have served you my entire life.
God replies:
-That might be, but when you preach, everybody falls asleep in the church. When he drives the bus, all the passengers pray.

Having immigrated at 1 and been raised in Los Angeles

by two hard-working first generation Korean parents,
I still struggle with insecurities, some of which are
worsened by deeply ingrained Asian stereotypes from my past.
Just the other week, my Caucasian friend Jessie and I hit the links
and I tee off 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.
Then he tees off, and his ball hits
an 8 year old boy in the back of the head
\-- killing him instantly.
So I'm like "Oh. My. God.
Who's the bad driver now!?"

My buddy Jacob is a bad driver

So Jacob got in a bad wreck. His car was totaled. The other car was totaled. He stepped out of his car and went to check on the other driver. He was fine.
Jacob said, "this is a miracle. Look at how bad our cars are and we are totally unscathed. Even still. I have this bottle of wine in my backseat which it still unbroken. This surely is a sign. We should toast"
The other man agreed, it was a sign and a toast was in order. So Jacob popped the cork and the other man took a big swig and passed the bottle back. And my buddy Jacob said, "no thanks. I'll wait for the cops to show up first"

Problems of language ( sorry for bad english)

Two Hungaryan policeman stops a car. The driver cant speak hungaryan so he tries to speak in english. The two policeman cant understan it and they just looking at the guy. Then the driver speaks to them in german, french, and a bunch of other languages. The policemen let him go. Then one of them says: Shouldnt we learn any languages? The other says: Why sould we? That guy knows so many languages but they still useless.

Why are cannibals bad drivers?

Because they're always cutting people up .

A Mexican magician works on Microsoft Windows

Uno, and *p**...*, DOS is gone without a tres.

California drivers are so bad, they could host the world's first bad drivers' olympics...

But they would all just get into a massive accident on the way there.

Hey Girls

Hey I heard that girls like bad boys. Just to let you know.....
I don't thank the bus driver in Fortnite.

Two Irishmen get in a car accident late at night

The wreck is bad and both cars are totaled but neither driver is injured. After making sure neither is hurt one of the men goes back to his car and pulls out a bottle of whisky and offers it to the other man saying thank god neither of us were hurt, have a shot to celebrate . The other man gratefully takes a big swig and passes it back. The first man caps the bottle and starts to put it away when the other says aren't you going to have one? He says no, I'm gonna wait for the police to get here .

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.

Guy goes traveling to a small village in the jungle...

when he arrives he hears drums coming from the mountain behind the village. He asks the driver what the deal is with the drums. Driver says, "Oh. Drums stop very bad." Huh.
Well next he's walking around the village checking it out and he asks one of the villagers about the drums and the villager says, "Drums stop, very very bad."
Finally, he's at the house he's staying at and he asks about the drums again. His host says, "Drums stop, very bad. Terrible."
That night he's sleeping and the drums suddenly stop! He wakes up, jumps out of bed and goes to his host, "What's going on?! What happened?! What is it?" and his his host replies,
"Bass solo."

Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break

On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how s**... you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.

A blonde is in a wheat field attempting to row a small boat.
Another two blondes drive past and see her struggling.
The driver says look at that idiot! She gives smart blondes like us a bad name!
The other blonde says I know right! If only I could swim I'd go out there and kick her a**...!

A man is hitchhiking on a lonely road.

After a good while an old beat up truck stops and picks him up and after a couple of minutes of small talk the driver ask the man if he wants some booze. Sure he says and gets handed a bottle. When he tries to drink it the smell of bad moonshine overwhelms him and he declined the drink. The old man driving just steps on the breaks and pulls a shotgun and screams " now you drink or I blow your head of" the guy does what he's told and takes a sterdy sip. After the old man goes: "Good, now you aim at me so I can have drink too"

I am not saying my wife is a bad driver but ...

our neighbors walk in the middle of the road to avoid getting hit by her car.

New York City is like Linux

* Spend the first year re-learning how to perform basic tasks
* Spend the rest of your lifetime claiming how much better it is
* Bad drivers
Source: @ chromakode on Twitter

What do a bad computer and a bad racing team have in common?

Drivers that frequently c**...

jokes about bad driver

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bad driver jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.