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Bad Decision Jokes

24 bad decision jokes and hilarious bad decision puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad decision that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Decision Short Jokes

Short bad decision jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad decision humour may include short bad idea jokes also.

  1. Deaf people aren't known to be very rational They have trouble making sound decisions.
  2. Asexual reproduction is reproduction with only one party And lots of alcohol and bad decisions
  3. At this point in my life... At this point in my life, i drink so i can smoke and I smoke after the bad decisions i made wile drinking, then I drink to forget that I am dying of lung cancer.
  4. Did you hear about the woman who blew all her money on powerball tickets? She made a lotto bad decisions....
  5. In the future, whenever they try to give examples of what can go wrong due to bad decisions, they will point to this year... Coz hindsight is 2020.
  6. My mom Last year my mom shoud have celebrated her 60th birthday. But because of alcohol, smoking, drugs and other bad decisions, we all forgot...
  7. women tend to make bad decisions when they're around me... if they chose me instead it would be the best decision of their lives!
  8. If I had a dollar for every time Greece made a bad economical decision Their economy would still be failing.
  9. For all the single guys on this sub, my advice is to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo who likes you, and marry her. She knows how to make bad decisions, and then stick with it.
  10. I've been making bad decisions lately and hooking up with tons of ugly people. I know it's not healthy, but my life is a joke and comedy comes in threes.

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Bad Decision One Liners

Which bad decision one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad decision? I can suggest the ones about hard decisions and bad advice.

  1. Not to brag or anything but I don't need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
  2. What do you call a pannacotta tattoo? A bad life decision.
    Why would you do that?
  3. Why do g**... make bad decisions? Because they're never thinking straight.

Bad Decision Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bad decision you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad luck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad decision pranks.

This past year has been a sad one. It would have been my Mother's 60th Birthday, which we would have celebrated with the whole family. But thanks to drugs, alcohol, and a whole lot of bad decisions...

We all forgot to show up.

I'm 35 years old but because I'm an alcoholic who makes bad decisions, I have the liver of a 65-year-old.

I really don't know what to do, but I hope I can find a buyer with connections in the black market or else I'll have to just get rid of it before I get caught..

D and C decided to have a kid. They had a boy and named him decision.

And when their child started doing drugs, they knew it was a bad decision.

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl

She decided she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army p**... and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital o**... and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just by your left breast."
Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.

She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army p**... and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital o**... and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

I decided to stop drinking...

To find out which version of me is making all of these bad decisions

"The watch"

My dad just reminded me of this old classic!
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says. "Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolitan areas. He hits a few b**... and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more b**... and the same voice said something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding. The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He pushes a few more b**... and a tiny but very hi-resolution, map of New York City appears on the display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite positioning," explains Jake. "View recede ten," Jake says, and the display changes to show eastern New York state. "I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger. "Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs, says the inventor. "But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances up to 125 meters, a pager with thermal paper printout and, most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of up to 300 standard-size books," though I only have 32 of my favorites in there so far" says Jake. "I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger. "No, you don't understand; it's not ready." "I'll give you $1000 for it!" "Oh, no, I've already spent more than -" "I'll give you $5000 for it!" "But it's just not -" "I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out a checkbook. Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8500 into materials and development, and with $15,000 he can make another one and have it ready for merchandising in only six months. The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it." Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK," he says, and peels off the watch. They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away. "Hey, wait a minute," calls Jake after the stranger, who turns around warily. Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station. "Don't forget your batteries.

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer:
Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities.
The Pope declined.
2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again.
This time with a 50 million dollar offer.
Again the Pope declined.
A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts.
At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format.
The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities.
The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!