Bad Day Jokes
102 bad day jokes and hilarious bad day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Day Short Jokes
Short bad day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad day humour may include short hard day jokes also.
- When I was a kid my mom used to say " Perdon my French" when she said any bad word. I'll never forget the day in school when my teacher ask if could speak French.
- I was reading a book about Stockholm Syndrome the other day. It was really bad to begin with, but by the end I quite liked it.
- To whoever stole my thesaurus... To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.
- Meatloaf (RIP) owned a private forest. At dawn every day, he would collect the condensation and drink it. I asked him if it tastes good. He said "dew outta trees ain't bad!"
- You know what would make your bad day even worse? Finding out your toaster is water-proof.
- In the UK most people complain about the bad weather... In the UK most people complain about the bad weather, but Queen Elizabeth managed to get through 70 years and 214 days of continuous reign.
- [Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'
- After a long day's work, I came home and saw my kid ripping off the front and back pages of my dictionary. Things just went from Bad to Worse.
- When my girlfriend complains about how bad her day was I like to hold her hands Because shes deaf
- Doctor: I've got some bad news. You have an incurable disease, you don't have long to live. Man: How long do I have, doc?
Doctor: 10
Man: 10 what? Months? Weeks? Days?
Doctor: 9
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Bad Day One Liners
Which bad day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad day? I can suggest the ones about having a bad day and beautiful day.
- I once told a bad joke about ghosts It still haunts me to this day.
- If you think Friday is a sad day, I've got some bad news for you. Tomorrow is Sadder Day.
- What does America and my Milk have in common? Both will go bad in 9 days.
- I made this 3.14 minutes before the day ended Too bad it wasn't my pi day
- Would I post a bad joke on my cake day? You butter believe it.
- Today was a bad day My ex got hit by a car and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
- Report card day Report card day:
The only day where double D's are a bad thing. - Alzheimer's isn't bad at all You get to meet new people every day! :D
- Diet - day 1: I have removed all bad food from the house…it was delicious.
- What did the disgruntled barber give to the prince? A bad heir day.
- If you think Thursdays are bad, just wait two days... It will be a sadder day.
- You are allowed to have a bad day. You've given us plenty so keep one for yourself.
- Jesus must have had really bad internet his revival lagged for 3 days
- Why was jesus bad at COD He respawns after 2 days
- I read a bad thesaurus the other day. And it wasn't just *bad*, it was *bad*.
Having A Bad Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny having a bad day jokes and even better having a bad day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What face does a Syrian make when he has a bad day? Assad one.
On a side note, I hope prosperity upon all the Syrians who have been displaced. - This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby. When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.
- Before my buddy died I asked him if there was football in heaven. A few days later I saw his ghost. He said
"Good news, there is. Bad news, you're playing in goal tomorrow." - I'm not trying to say that the customer service in my bank is bad... But when i went in the other day, and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.
- A baby helped me out the other day... I asked him, "How do I find other songs by the singer of 'Bad Romance'?"
He replied: "Google Gaga" - I think Taco Tuesday sets a bad example for children. They need to grow up knowing that they can eat tacos every day of the week.
- What's the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice There's nothing worse than the day they come in the mail
- Mood ring Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day.
When she's in a good mood it turns green.
When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead. - I had a really bad day. First, my ex got run over by a taxi. Then I got fired from my job as a taxi driver.
- BAD MATH JOKE TIME. For pi day, my friend was selling pies as a fundraiser, so because I love pie, I decided to buy two.
I went from 0 to 2π.
I went absolutely nowhere.
Happy Bad Day Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about bad day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad birthday jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad day pranks.
My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: That's a nice looking Aldi!
I told him it just looks like Aldi others.
...
Sorry y'all. It's been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.
How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day?
When she can't find her pencil and there is a t**... behind her ear.
It must be pretty bad being the wife of a s**... bomber...
Because if they come home after work, they've had a bad day.
Dwarf Incident
I rear ended a car this morning...
I tell you, it was going to be a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a
DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.
A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."
The Unluckiest Guy in the world
A huge guy is drinking in a bar with his friend, when suddenly he sees a dude who looks really depressed. He looks at his friend and goes, 'You see the guy that seems to be having a really bad day? Well I'm gonna make his day even worse'. So he walks up to the dude and drinks the glass that was in front of him. The dude suddenly breaks into tears and starts crying hysterically. So the guy is surprised and tries to calm him down: ' Dude relax! I was just messing with you. I'll buy another drink'. The dude wipes off his tears and goes, 'I just had the worst day of my life. My car broke down on my way to work so I had to take a cab. I forgot my briefcase in the cab and cost my company millions of dollars. They fired me and I owe them their millions. When I got back from work, I found my wife in bed with my best friend. After all that I decided to end my life with a glass of poison, and you didn't even let me do that!'
A bad day at the dentist is better than a bad day at the airport.
Because a search for cavities sure beats a cavity search.
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
I was at a u**... when I realized standing to my left was Muhammad Ali and to my right was Michael J. Fox...
bad day to wear sandals.
If you're having a bad day...
Just remember that somewhere out there, Theresa May is having a worse one.
My c**...-eyed professor had a really bad day today.
His pupils got way out of line.
It made him so angry that he couldn't see straight.
Kevin and Jake had fallen on bad days. Finally, they resorted to theft.
They decided to break into a millionaire's house the following night. Inside the house, Jake accidentally dropped a goblet, which shattered. The noise woke someone up. "Who's there?" the voice demanded. Jake had the presence of mind to reply "meow." After grabbing his fill, Jake slipped out into the darkness, but Kevin was not satisfied. He wanted more. As Kevin searches for more loot, he accidentally knocks a chair over. The voice demanded once again, "Who's there?" "This is another cat," replied Kevin.
I was talking to a council worker the other day and I asked him "What's it like working for the council?
"Oh you know you have good days and bad days."
"Swings and roundabouts I suppose"
"Yeah sometimes we fill potholes as well."
I knew it was going to be a bad day after I fell asleep on the school bus this morning.
Especially since I was the one driving.
I rear-ended another car this morning.
I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a really bad day.
The driver got out of the other car, and wouldn't you know it!
He was a dwarf!! He looked up at me and said, "I am 'Not Happy.'
So I said, "Well, then, which one are you?"
And, that's how the fight started.
I need your support
Her: What's wrong?
Him: I had a bad day. I need your o**... support.
Her: You mean moral
Him: No!
A horse walks into a bar
And the bartender asked "why the long face?"
The horse said, well, it has been a really bad day. Around 10 years ago, I married a pony, the absolute love of my life. She just passed away at the hospital from t**... cancer. I'm on my way back home and I just came in for a few drinks to ease the pain.
The bartender felt horrible about the s**... joke he said earlier and apologized profusely.
The horse just shook his head and said don't worry about it. In all honesty, we should have caught the cancer much earlier. She was always a little horse.
bad day today
I put on my shirt, a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!!
Credit Rodney Dangerfield
A wealthy art collector got a call from his lawyer...
Lawyer: I have good news and bad news.
Art Collector: I've had a bad day, so lets start with the good news.
Lawyer: Well, your wife has invested a couple hundred dollars in a a few pictures that she expects to get a couple million for.
Art Collector: That's great! What's the bad news?
Lawyer: Well, the pictures are of you and your secretary.
What did one blood cell say to another blood cell that was having a bad day?
B positive
Saw my friend JC with a s**... eye and asked him what happened..
He said he was having a really bad day coz he accidentally j**... himself in the eye while jerking off.
Basically he said "I came, eye sore."
I concurred.
How can you tell that your waitress is having a bad day?
She has a t**... behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.
Oh my God, that spider's as big as my thumb!
Today was a bad day to know Big Thumb Thurmond
I've been diagnosed with Havana syndrome
Havana bad day.
Having a bad day?
Just remember that in the movie Air Bud , some kid got kicked off his school basketball team... and replaced by a dog.
Santa was having a really bad day....
Everything was going wrong. The elves were looking for a raise, Rudolph was sick, Mrs Clause was in a foul mood. So the Angel arrived at the door dragging a Christmas tree he asked Santa, what will I do with the tree ?
And that is why you will always find an Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
The reason I check my hair and my general appearance so often, is because of this one bad day. I can't even say I remember it, but I am told my hair was a mess, I was covered with unspeakable fluids, had trouble breathing, couldn't even stand, and I cried in front of everyone.
I'm still trying to live down the day I was born.
A member of Isis is having a bad day...
It's having a crisis
What do you tell a Mexican having a bad day?
Sorry amigo, it's nacho day.
The next time you've had a bad day....
....just remember out there some s**... just started Crossfit.
How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
She's got a t**... behind her ear and can't find her pencil.
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started.
An American checks into a London hotel having had a bad day
An American checks into a London hotel having had a bad day. He asks the receptionist where the elevator is.
He is told the lift is around the corner from reception.
The American says It's called AN ELEVATOR! WE INVENTED IT!
The receptionist replies Yes sir, but we invented the language and so it's a lift.
I've had a really bad day.
First, my wife got ran over by a bus.
Then, I lost my job as a bus driver.
A man asked a scholar if it is okay to scratch your hand while in pilgrimage...
Hey guys, it is bedtime now and am pretty depressed after a long bad day. Remembering this story-found in Arabic literature-made me chuckle so I hope it will brighten your day too.
A man asked a scholar if it is okay to scratch own arm while in pilgrimage?
The scholar: yes, you can.
Man: to what extent?
The scholar: until you see the bones!!!
An accountant is having a bad day
Everything is going wrong, his marriage is going down the tubes, he is about to lose his job, he steps out and looks down
Guy on the street calls the cops and says "Come quick! There's an accountant on the ledger!"
Someone suggested that when you are having a bad day that you should do your best to turn it around
But I'm not sure how to enjoy a yaddab either.
How can you tell when your gf is having a bad day?
She has her t**... behind her ear and can't find her cigarette
If you are ever having a bad day,
Just remember you were once first place in a race of over 100 million contestants.
If you think you're having a bad day at work today
just remember that someone works at the United marketing department.
What do Chinese Dogs and baseball pitchers have in common?
Whenever that have a bad day they balk a lot
What do you eat when you're have a bad day?
Nachos, cuz its Nacho day
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made s**... with her.
Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made s**... with her.
Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
How do you tell that a blonde is having a bad day?
She's got a suppository in her ear and can't find an AirPod.
It's just a bad day, not a bad life.
Lying in bed after a bad day, I always stick my feet out through the gap in my blanket.
I lie the feet-hole position.
Processor has had a bad day..
Processor: Hey man, I've really been having a bad day.
Graphics Card: Ya'know man, I can really put things into perspective for you.
I just had a really bad day today
I got into a car accident and my girlfriend left me... I didn't forget a comma with the "and" conjunction, she left through the front windshield of my car.
What gets the ninja turtles stuffing themselves with pizza on a good or bad day?
The end of April
Its just a bad day, not a bad life
I was having a really bad day
Then I watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
A face had a bad day.
It had to face the music.
What do you call the president when he's having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
You've had a bad day but...
The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.
The flesh eating virus barely touched your other arm.
Imagine what would have happened if your ex-wife had a *good* lawyer.
The fertility drugs worked 4 times better than expected.
The insurance company said they will pay the full book value of $455 for your 1966 Corvette.
At least the operation was partially successful.
Don't worry about who the real father is, your son's chances of getting a full scholarship just increased significantly!
Every night, before bed, a little girl prays...
The first night she prays: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa
The next day the grandfather dies
The second night she prays: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma
The next day the grandmother dies.
The next night she prays: Goodnight Mommy. Goodbye Daddy
The father hears this and goes into an immediate panic. He spends the following day with extra precautions, worried that it could happen at any moment, but nothing happens.
Upon arriving home, the father tells his wife about his day and she replied: You thought you had a bad day?!? The milkman dropped dead on our front porch this morning!
What do plumbers do after they've had a bad day?
They re-goop!
Little Johnny had a bad day.
He stomped home from school to the family farm. Being an annoying little kid, he saw the farm animals and decided to take out a little frustration on them, so he yelled at the pig, chased the chickens around, and kicked in a pumpkin from the pumpkin patch. Finally, he made it to the house. His mom was waiting and furious.
"Johnny, I saw you just did and you're in big trouble! For abusing the poor pig and chickens, you don't get sausage or wings tonight. And no pumpkin pie, either!"
Just then, the two of them saw Johnny's dad came back from a day in the fields. He walked to the porch, where the cat is sleeping peacefully in the sun. He irritably kicked the cat out of the way to make it to the door. Johnny turns to his mom with a big grin and says,
"Shall you tell him, or shall I?"
After a bad day on the course, a golfer goes to an old golf pro for some advice...
The old golf pro watches a few swings and the golfer says, "Well, what should I do?"
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."
The golfer went back out to the links. He took the old man's advice on his first swing and POW, he hits the ball 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the afternoon, the golfer is crushing tee drives right down the center.
The ecstatic man goes back home and tells his wife all about the new technique he learned. Now the wife, being an avid golfer, want's to talk to the old golf pro, as well.
The next day, the wife also asks the old golf pro for advice. The old golf pro watched her swing and says, "No, no, no. You're gripping the club way too hard".
"What should I do?" asked the wife. "Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's manhood", said the old pro.
The wife listened carefully to the pro's advice, took a swing and THUMP... The ball skipped off of the tee box and rolled about 15 feet down the fairway.
"You know, that was a lot better than I expected!" the old pro said. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and hold it in your hands."
A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas.
Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, he is intrigued to hear a great commotion at the roulette table.
Maybe, she won!
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The croupier replies, "I don't know, buddy.... She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up she fainted!
A man is woken up in the middle of the night by his son screaming. He quickly goes and wakes him up.
Man: "Son What's the matter?"
Son: "Dad it was the scariest dream! A man dressed in black came and told me my aunt is going to die tomorrow!"
Man: "Son it was just a dream don't worry."
The next day he comes home and his wife is crying.
Man: "Honey what's wrong?"
Wife: "my mother called my sister just dropped dead!"
That night the man is woken again by his son screaming and he wakes him up.
Son: "Dad the man in black came to me again in my dream and said tomorrow my father is going to die!"
Man: "Son your aunt dying was just a coincidence don't worry about me I'll be fine."
The next day the man is freaked he doesn't take any elevators, doesn't walk over any grates and jumps at any noise.
When he get home his wife takes one look at him.
Wife: "Honey you look awful what is going on?"
Man "I have had the worst day ever I feel awful and just want to go to bed."
Wife: "You think you had a bad day? This afternoon the mailman dropped dead on the front porch!"
And you thought you were having a bad day . . .
There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.
The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to go to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink the poison."
I had a really bad day yesterday
the only thing that was positive was my h**...-test.
A Bad Day (Clean)
A man is sitting in a bar staring at his drink.
After staring at it for half an hour without taking a sip, one of the bar regulars decides to have some fun with him.
He picks up the man's drink and knocks it back in one. The man starts crying.
"Don't take it like that," says the regular. "It was a joke. I'll buy you another one."
"It's not just that," replies the man. "This day has been the worst one of my life. First, I oversleep and get into work late. My boss fires me and, when I leave the building, I find my car had been stolen. I get a cab home but leave my briefcase on the back seat with my wallet in it. Then, when I get home, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. After all that I come to this bar and then, when I've just made up my mind to end it all, you show up and drink my poison"
Really bad day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Santa's bad day
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r**.... When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had finished the cider and the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the liquor bottle, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa stomped to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Taking his son golfing
Mr. Smith was a bad golfer, but God help him, he still loved to play the game. One weekend morning, his wife couldn't look after their son, so he agreed to bring him along, and have him act as his caddy.
When they got to the course, he pulled his son aside and handed him a scorecard.
"Here's the scorecard Timmy. I need to you write down the number I tell you for each hole, OK?"
"OK Daddy!" His son replied.
So they went out and boy, oh boy was it a bad day for Mr. Smith. Every other shot, it seemed, went into the rough, a sand trap or somewhere other than where he wanted. After a long, hot arduous round, he was ready to hit the 19th hole...but first he had to get the score.
"Ok Timmy, what do you have my score at for today?"
His son pulled out the scorecard and counted up the total and said "I have you with a 72 dad."
"72? That's amazing! That's like 50 strokes lower than my average. Are you sure you wrote down the number I said for every hole?"
"Yeah, you yelled Fore! on every hole."
(For those who don't know about golf, "Fore" is a yell you give when your ball is going in the direction of other golfers)
A guy walks into a bar...
... sits down next to an older man and downs his drink. The older man looks up at him with a sad look on his face, the younger man says, "Sorry, I just really need to get something in my system, I'll buy you another one."
The older man replies, "No, it's fine, I just had a really bad day."
"You want to tell me about it?"
"Well, I forgot to set my alarm, so I woke up late for work. When I got there, my boss fired me on the spot. When I was walking back to my car, someone totaled it an drove off. I got a taxi and went home. After I got out of the taxi, I realized I had left my wallet in the back seat and the driver just drove off. I walked in the door to find my wife with another man. I tried to contact a few friends to ask if I could stay with them for a few days, but it turns out none of them like me. So I came here, and just as I decide I'm going to end it all, you come in and drink my poison."
A real woman ...
A real woman ....
is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions, and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, s**..., seductive and invincible...
No wait...
Sorry....
I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that.
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas.
She’s down to her last $50.
Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?"
He walks away.
Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table.
Thinking maybe she’d won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd.
The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned.
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"
One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it.
The next day, the Grandfather died.
A month later the father heard his sony saying prayers again: "God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day the grandmother died.
Well, the father was getting more than a little woried about the whole situation.
One week later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers.
"God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy."
This nearly gave the father a heart attack.
He didn’t say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic.
He stayed all through lunch and dinner.
Finally after midnight he went home.
He was still alive!
When he got home he appologised to his wife.
"I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today."
"You think you’ve had a bad day? YOU THINK YOU’VE HAD A BAD DAY!?" the wife yelled,
"The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"
One day a farmer wakes up to go check on his cheese cow. He walks up and finds her dead in the grass. The man is so upset he kills himself. Then his wife wakes up. She finds her husband dead and goes to the lake and kills herself. Next the first son wakes up and notices everybody is dead. He goes down to the river and sees a mermaid. She swims up to him and says, "Having a bad day, huh? I'll tell you what. If you make love to me ten times in a row without stopping, I'll bring everyone back to life. But if you don't, I will kill you." He tries to do it, but doesn't make it. She kills him. Then the second son wakes up and after seeing his dead parents, also goes to the river where he sees his dead brother. The same mermaid swims up and tells him what she told his brother. He asks, "If I make love to you 20 times, what will you do?" She tells him, "If you are able to perform 20 times in a row, I will bring everyone back and make you the richest man alive." He then asks, "Well if I do it 20 times in a row, what's stopping you from dying? That's what happened to the cow."
One day a farmer wakes up to go check on his cheese cow. He walks up and finds her dead in the grass. The man is so upset he kills himself. Then his wife wakes up. She finds her husband dead and goes to the lake and kills herself. Next the first son wakes up and notices everybody is dead. He goes down to the river and sees a mermaid. She swims up to him and says, "Having a bad day, huh? I'll tell you what. If you make love to me ten times in a row without stopping, I'll bring everyone back to life. But if you don't, I will kill you." He tries to do it, but doesn't make it. She kills him. Then the second son wakes up and after seeing his dead parents, also goes to the river where he sees his dead brother. The same mermaid swims up and tells him what she told his brother. He asks, "If I make love to you 20 times, what will you do?" She tells him, "If you are able to perform 20 times in a row, I will bring everyone back and make you the richest man alive." He then asks, "Well if I do it 20 times in a row, what's stopping you from dying? That's what happened to the cow."
