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Bad Date Jokes

66 bad date jokes and hilarious bad date puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad date that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bad Date Short Jokes

Short bad date jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad date humour may include short blind date jokes also.

  1. This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby. When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.
  2. I've really got into dating black chicks recently. Not because they take my fancy but I'm really bad at meeting the dad.
  3. I asked my sister how her blind date went "Oh it was terrible" she said, "He showed up in a 1948 Rolls-Royce."
    "So what's so bad about *that*?" I asked.
    Apparently he was the original owner.
  4. A man with a stutter was killed in prison with only 3 days until his release date. To bad he couldn't just finish his sentence.
  5. If someone wants to date me, I don't want to date them. Because they obviously make bad life choices.
  6. I used to think I was bad at dating in high school as I never had a girlfriend. Prince Andrew must have been way worse, he was 45 when he got a high school girlfriend!
  7. I'm really bad at dating I find it hard to keep my interest in a woman and in the trunk of my car for so long
  8. The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google the names they call you when it ends badly.
  9. Why doesn't John Rhys Davies use Tinder? Bad Dates.
  10. I dated a feminist once, but it ended really badly when I told her I may have given her AIDS Apparently it's mansplaining to tell her to get herself checked.

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Bad Date One Liners

Which bad date one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad date? I can suggest the ones about bad relationship and bad wedding.

  1. Why does Indiana Jones have such a hard time getting a girlfriend? Bad dates.
  2. Do you know why Indiana Jones never got married? Bad dates
  3. Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates.
  4. I met the love of my life through an online dating site Too bad my wife found out
  5. A good project manager makes updates. A bad project manager makes up dates.
  6. Why was Marx bad at dating? He only talked about seizing the means of production.
  7. Why was Pac-Man in a bad mood after coming home from a date?
  8. I've got a date with destiny And for 50$ an hour, not bad.
  9. I'm dating a supermodel with hemiparesis. She's not half-bad.
  10. Recently I'm having a lot of bad dates! I've to try grapes now!
  11. Two Sticks went on a date but there weren't any sparks. It was bad Match.
  12. Don't date a girl who just got hit in the eye with a softball. She's a bad catch.
  13. Why are calendar puns so bad? Because they are always so week and dated
  14. The problem with dating deaf people... They're bad listeners
  15. Never go ice skating on your first date in spring. It could be a bad ice breaker.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bad date can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bad date puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Laughable Bad Date Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about bad date you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean first date jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bad date prank.

A young couple is on their honeymoon.

The husband is sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife is sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've got a confession to make."
She says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."

My taste in men is so bad, the walk of shame for me is when I'm on my way to a date.

A pirate had a horrible date.

He's really going through a bad patch, he couldn't even unhook her bra.

Dolf is the weatherman at KTVY, the local CBS affiliate in Kansas City.

He's also a closet communist, and has a bit of an anger management problem. During their Christmas Eve broadcast Dolf forecasts a cold and rainy Christmas day, then turns it over to Erin, the anchor he's been dating for the past few months:
"Dolf, are you sure its just rain for tomorrow? I bet everyone's praying for a little snow tonight!"
"No no Erin, just rain for tomorrow"
"Are you sure we can't look forward to a white Christmas?"
"NO! RUDOLF THE RED KNOWS RAIN, DEAR!"

Bad grammar / punctuation

Girl: I don't think I'd date a guy who cares if I have grammar or punctuation.
Guy: Well I don't think I'd date a girl who's bad at punctuation. What if she misses her period and doesn't realize it?
[ORIGINAL VERSION WITH ERROR]
Girl: I don't think I'd date a guy who cares if I have grammar or punctuation.
Guy: Well I don't think I'd date a girl who's bad at punctuation. What if she gets her period and doesn't realize it?

Just made it so don't judge.

So a man is on a double date with his wife, best friend and the friend's new girlfriend. As the date progresses the girlfriend asked the man "how they met". "Well", said the man. "We met at grade 6 and we started talking, the more we talked the more we liked each others company." As he's telling her all these details and stories the wife just looks at him confused. Finally, after talking for several minutes he finishes with "I can't imagine how bad my life would be if we hadn't met" Awwww, the girl says. "I hope my marriage can be that happy one day." The man looks puzzled, grabs his wife's hand and says, "ohhhh you mean my wife?!"

Best love poem

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm bad at poetry, date me

A wildebeast walks into a speed dating meetup..

he meets some good gnus and some bad gnus.

Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the l**... colony ?

Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out.

Why are air hostesses bad at dating?

Most men aren't interested in **plane** women.

I'm glad my mom is such a bad cook

If my date can eat her meatloaf with a smile, I know they'll s**... anything.

Man claims to have a rheumatic heart.

Still bad on dates.

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve..

It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to c**....

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

Why are Jedi bad at dating?

Because they use the force.

Why is a steakhouse a terrible first date?

It's bad to have any beef with your mate.

I hear a lot of archeologists are single

Must be the bad dates

Every date I go on ends badly when I tell them I have two little girls

In my trunk

An ugly girl was sitting alone in a restaurant

I feel bad for that girl. I said to my date.
Moments later, a man who appeared to be her boyfriend walked over and sat down in her booth.
I feel bad for that guy.

Someone told me the best idea for a date...

Someone told me the best idea for a date was doing something you were both bad at, because it'd make you laugh at each other's awfulness and make you feel comfortable.
My girlfriend wasn't impressed when I suggested s**......

The three main criteria for dating websites are as follows

-Age
-s**...
-Location
But I think this needs to change badly, as I personally don't condone under-age s**...

Abby's roommate had a blind date.

"How did it go?" Abby asked her.
"Terrible!"she answered. "He showed up in a 1950 Rolls Royce."
"Wow!" remarked Abby. "That's a very expensive car. He must be very rich. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says I'd like to submit a joke of my people

The receptionist looks at him and says listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I'm not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.
Mushroom: so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says 'tell me about yourself' and he says 'well I'm a fungi!'
Receptionist: yeah that jokes bad but it's just not gonna cut it, we can't put it in,
We don't have mushroom.

A pirate's life

Why is it a bad idea to date a pirate? Because they're only after your b**....

"How was your blind date?"

A college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
"Terrible!" The roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner."

How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?
"He was the original owner!"

jokes about bad date

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bad date jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.