Bad Cooking Jokes
61 bad cooking jokes and hilarious bad cooking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bad cooking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bad Cooking Short Jokes
Short bad cooking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bad cooking humour may include short bad cook jokes also.
- Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!! - I keep having bad dreams about an ancient Egyptian mummy attacking me while I'm cooking. I call them my... Rameses kitchen nightmares.
- My Wife's cooking is so bad If you left Dental Floss in the kitchen
The Roaches would hang themselves! - I cooked dinner last night. It was gumbo I made with only sausage and okra. It wasn't good or bad .
It was meaty okra. - What does a one night stand and cooking bad Chinese food have in common? Both end in a wok of shame
- I had a roommate in college who was such a bad cook, his mac and cheese caught fire. What a flaming casserole!
- I wish my family wouldn't go on about how bad my cooking is... ..because everytime I make dinner, they just keep bringing it up.
- I'm not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is the pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?
- My wife had to cook to the first time the other day. The food smells so bad, that all the flies in the neighborhood pitched in and bought us a screen door so they couldn't get back in.
- I hit Chewbacca with my car, and killed him. I feel bad, but I didn't want the meat to go to waste, so I cooked it. It was chewy.
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Bad Cooking One Liners
Which bad cooking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bad cooking? I can suggest the ones about bad food and cooking.
- My girlfriend's such a bad cook, she uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
- My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
- I'm not saying I'm a bad cook. But how long does pasta stay in the toaster?
- What do you call a badly cooked piece of meat? A misteak
- Saying grace My wife's cooking is so bad we pray after the meal
- Why was the surfer such a bad cook? All he could handle was the microwave
- Why are psychic bad chefs? They cook everything medium rare.
- My wife's cooking is so bad... She uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
- Why is Nixon a bad chef? Because he is not a cook.
- My wife's cooking is so bad.... We pray to God after the meal
- Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself. - My wife's cooking is so bad… … we pray after we eat.
- Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
- My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screens.
- My favorite cooking show is..... BREAKING BAD.
Amusing & Witty Bad Cooking Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about bad cooking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kitchen cooking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bad cooking pranks.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back.
Her cooking is so bad, it would make medicine sick!
Bad memory
An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, "Whats wrong?" The old man looks at the bartender through
Teary eyes and between sobs says," I married a beautiful woman two days ago. Shes a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed. "
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, "But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?"
The old man looks at the bartender and says, "I cant remember where I live!"
Why are n**...'s such bad cooks?
Because all the good ovens were taken
Please no daddy
"No daddy, please no, daddy, I'm begging you, please don't make me put it in my mouth and s**... it again, it will make me sick like it did before."
"Come on sweetheart, its not that bad. Your mum's cooking has improved a little bit."
Two cannibals are chatting
and the first cannibal says "I killed and ate a m**... yesterday, but I think he gave me an upset stomach."
The second cannibal says "That's too bad. How'd you cook him?"
The first cannibal says "Oh, I threw him in the giant p**... of boiling water like always."
The second cannibal says "Makes sense. And what did he look like?"
The first cannibal says "The usual. Brown robe, rope belt, sandals."
And the second cannibal says "Well there's your problem. You boiled him, and he was a friar."
Annual Snail Racing Day
It was annual snail racing day and so, all the snails elected Snail B to judge while Snails J, P and O help set up the course. All the other snails then got into their designated soapbox cars, which were painted with their letter.
Snail B yelled out four beeps, and on the last and higher pitched beep, all the snails started racing.
At one point of the race, Snail S's car hit a bump and flew off the track, with him in it. Snail S landed several feet away from his car, badly bruised, and called for help, but no one heard, for all his other snail friends were either racing or waiting at the finish line. After several tense moments, Snail S was picked up, but only to be cooked and eaten.
At the end of the race, Snail X came first, with Snail K second and Snail W third. After all the snails had crossed the finish line, everyone looked around and asked, "Where did the S car go?"
Old man's wife has hearing problems
An old man goes to his doctor.
Old man: Hey Doc, my wife's hearing is becoming terrible, is there anything you can give me to help her out?
Doc: Well, how bad is it?
Old Man: We rarely talk any more, Doc, and I love her more than anything.
Doc: Try the distance test. When you get home, Call her name and if she doesn't hear you, get closer and closer until she does. This will give me a good sense of how bad her hearing actually is.
Old Man: Okay, thanks Doc. See you soon.
So, the Old Man goes home, opens his front door and shouts "EDNA?! WHAT'S FOR DINNER?!"
Nothing.
He walks through his hall and once more shouts "EDNA?! WHAT'S FOR DINNER?!"
Nothing.
He walks to the door to his kitchen and sees his dearest wife over the oven cooking dinner. "EDNA?! WHAT'S FOR DINNER?!"
Nothing.
Frustrated, the Old Man walks right up to his wife and shouts in her ear "EDNA?! WHAT'S FOR DINNER?!".
"FOR THE FOURTH TIME, CHICKEN!"
A Bosnian Joke
Mujo is the husband.
Fata is the wife.
Fata has to go to the doctor.
After an hour the doctor comes out of the room and starts a conversation with Mujo.
Doctor: Mujo, I have some bad news... Fata doesn't look so good...
Mujo: I know Doctor... but She cooks, cleans and takes care of the kids!
Hope you guys enjoyed this joke, I did.
What do you call a badly cooked beef?
A misteak.
I'm glad my mom is such a bad cook
If my date can eat her meatloaf with a smile, I know they'll s**... anything.
Researchers today said food cooked too long that turns to black produces high levels of acrylamide, a cancer risk.
And I just thought my wife was a bad cook.
God said to Adam "I'm going to make you a woman"
God: "She's going to clean for you, cook anything you want whenever you want it, always look beautiful, never be bad tempered, give you children, always obedient, and she'll never argue with you."
Adam: "That sounds great, but what'll it cost me?"
God: "Oh, an arm and a leg."
Adam: "That's a bit steep. What can I get for a rib?"
Don't know how to cook
I don't really know how to cook, so I just end up eating frozen food. I usually get some turkey and store it in the freezer for the next day. However, one day I've heard about the dangers of eating frozen food and how it badly affects my health, it was at this moment that I realized that I had to quit cold turkey.
My wife is such a bad cook...
that our pets beg for Tums!
A guy sits next to a blind man in a bar.
"have you always been blind" he asked.
"oh no, i had a really bad fever one day. It was so bad that you could cook eggs on my forehead."
"So the fever made you go blind?"
"no the eggs went into my eyes."
I went up to a homeless man sitting on a bench in the town centre today with a cup of coffee for him.
I sat next to him and asked how he'd got in this position. He said to me "You know, three weeks ago I had it all, my own accomodation, a cook, good food, the internet,TV, I used to go to the gym,to the swimming pool, the library, everything" I replied, "Blimey, that's a bit rough, what happened, bad luck, divorce,drugs,alcohol problems"? He said "Na, I got released from prison"
A Chinese man visits the doctor
His hands are covered in severe burns from a cooking accident.
The man says, "I know it's bad, doctor, but how bad is it?"
The doctor replies, "I'm afraid you'll never wok again."
Why do l**... make bad cooks?
They always eat out
I'm cannot stand to live with my flatmate anymore
She doesnt clean the flat, she doesn't cook and she basically just uses me for free rides.
I'm want to move so badly but my boyfriend says "we can't abandon our daughter."
